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Don't let pink washing get to your head. Queer people live everywhere, including in Gaza, where they are currently being mass…
The cynic in me thinks it’s because most people don’t have any real concept of allyship beyond posting an emoji on social media. They don’t understand that if anything support for us LGBTQIA+ people is even more important in places where it’s not as tolerated. It shows me that if the social tide should ever turn against us even here in the US, they’d throw us under the bus immediately.
That, and a lot of people seem to have never really met or interacted with Muslim people on a personal level.
Thanks for the book recommendation and quote. I’ll check it out.
The cynic in me thinks it’s becauze most people don’t have any real concept of allyship beyond posting emoji on social media.
I absolutely agree. Being an ally isn’t simply appending emoji to your twitter handle or sticking some phrase in your twitter bio, or even posting a black square. Allyship is not performative, its active. If all you are doing is performance, and you are unwilling to act, you are essentially “The White Moderate” that MLK was talking about (or in this case, the cishet moderate). Even if you are active, it’s important to remember you can still fail to be an ally. While I’ve only met one person like this IRL, I’ve met a few people people online who are being an ally for themselves, not for others. Their mental image of themselves is benevolent and caring, but they blind themselves looking in their mental reflection rather than caring and understanding the struggle they are using to platform themselves.
I think part of this is a combination of capitalist/political alienation and being social-media brained. Capitalism sells the idea of being able to be an activist by buying products, be it LGBTQ+ owned, or having some mega corporation donate a small portion of the proceeds to a charity. And when you believe that words have power and debates can win people’s rights, it’s really easy to feel like you are making an impact by shouting to the void of your echo chamber on social media.
When these seem to be the only means of political action outside voting, thanks to alienation you will certainly feel like an ally when you perform insignificant acts to drum up your chosen cause. Even though the real change comes from more direct actions.
a lot of people seem to have never really met or interacted with Muslim people on a personal level.
That’s certainly true where I live. I’ve met and befriended a single muslim person who still practices their religion. If people were more accepting, or lived in less homogeneous areas (I live in a nearly exclusively christian area) they would be more accepting of those they live near. I think this is illustrated well considering the fact that even a conservative area like mine is LGBTQ+ friendly, if only because most people I know can count one or two people they know directly or through a friend who is LGBTQ+. It’s a lot harder to hate a friend or a neighbor than someone who lives a thousand miles away.
Yeah, I think you’re spot on, and this is something I reflect on a lot. I know there have been times when I’ve failed as an ally. It’s so important to realize we’re not infallible.
I also consider myself fortunate I’ve had the life experiences I’ve had. Even though I live in a tiny rural state, I’m lucky enough to have known a lot of different groups of people. In fact, the first person I came out to as gay was a Muslim woman. And even though we’re a small community here, it’s been nice seeing more and more LGBTQIA+ people coming out. It’s just scary to think that can all drastically change in a moment. Last year’s Pride was the first time I felt compelled to carry pepper spray to the event. Feels like the tides are turning, and not in a good way.
Edit: Just want to add one thing. I don’t see my role here as activism, necessarily. I’m pretty active locally, and I feel compelled to uphold and defend myself as well as my neighbors and loved ones. I’m actually fine with echo chambers online because it’s the only place I can connect with like-minded people.
I’m pretty critical of fake allyship because that’s what I’ve done a lot of my life, not gonna lie and now I’m making up for those bad years. I’m hoping that reading diverse voices and actually reading some theory for once is gonna help me out, and considering I’m finally beginning to accept my queerness and question my identity, I’ll certainly be more in tune with the struggle.
I’ve also been lucky to meet a lot of people, and lucky to see more than my neck of the woods and travel. While I’ve only been to countries in the colonial core, I’m hoping to eventually be able to afford to change that.
Last year’s Pride was the first time I felt compelled to carry pepper spray to the event
:(
That sounds rough. I’ve not been to any parades but I’ve nearly been to one in NYC that was happening when I was traveling, but I decided not to since i wasn’t out at that point. I will certainly be at a few this year.
Same, my friend. And not only bad allyship, but years of addiction and hurting people. I’m fairly old, and it’s been a long journey. I ran in leftist circles even back in the 90s, but I’d say I was an ignorant liberal posturing, going through motions, naively thinking things would just sorta turn out okay.
reading diverse voices and actually reading some theory
I’m not the most widely read person, but can recommend a few books. I’ve also got some links to zines if you want some shorter readings.
accept my queerness and question my identity
Truly wish you the best, and I hope we in the community are able to help
I’ve not been to any parades
Oh, they’re great fun! Mine here isn’t that great because it’s a small town, but I’ve also been to the one in Minneapolis a few times, and it was spectacular! Just the most positive vibes, ever. Unfortunately, my husband’s ADHD has started getting overstimulated from the events, but I still go every year to show support. I lived through a time when a parade here was unimaginable, so I feel like it’s the least I can do.
The cynic in me thinks it’s because most people don’t have any real concept of allyship beyond posting an emoji on social media. They don’t understand that if anything support for us LGBTQIA+ people is even more important in places where it’s not as tolerated. It shows me that if the social tide should ever turn against us even here in the US, they’d throw us under the bus immediately.
That, and a lot of people seem to have never really met or interacted with Muslim people on a personal level.
Thanks for the book recommendation and quote. I’ll check it out.
I absolutely agree. Being an ally isn’t simply appending emoji to your twitter handle or sticking some phrase in your twitter bio, or even posting a black square. Allyship is not performative, its active. If all you are doing is performance, and you are unwilling to act, you are essentially “The White Moderate” that MLK was talking about (or in this case, the cishet moderate). Even if you are active, it’s important to remember you can still fail to be an ally. While I’ve only met one person like this IRL, I’ve met a few people people online who are being an ally for themselves, not for others. Their mental image of themselves is benevolent and caring, but they blind themselves looking in their mental reflection rather than caring and understanding the struggle they are using to platform themselves.
I think part of this is a combination of capitalist/political alienation and being social-media brained. Capitalism sells the idea of being able to be an activist by buying products, be it LGBTQ+ owned, or having some mega corporation donate a small portion of the proceeds to a charity. And when you believe that words have power and debates can win people’s rights, it’s really easy to feel like you are making an impact by shouting to the void of your echo chamber on social media.
When these seem to be the only means of political action outside voting, thanks to alienation you will certainly feel like an ally when you perform insignificant acts to drum up your chosen cause. Even though the real change comes from more direct actions.
That’s certainly true where I live. I’ve met and befriended a single muslim person who still practices their religion. If people were more accepting, or lived in less homogeneous areas (I live in a nearly exclusively christian area) they would be more accepting of those they live near. I think this is illustrated well considering the fact that even a conservative area like mine is LGBTQ+ friendly, if only because most people I know can count one or two people they know directly or through a friend who is LGBTQ+. It’s a lot harder to hate a friend or a neighbor than someone who lives a thousand miles away.
Yeah, I think you’re spot on, and this is something I reflect on a lot. I know there have been times when I’ve failed as an ally. It’s so important to realize we’re not infallible.
I also consider myself fortunate I’ve had the life experiences I’ve had. Even though I live in a tiny rural state, I’m lucky enough to have known a lot of different groups of people. In fact, the first person I came out to as gay was a Muslim woman. And even though we’re a small community here, it’s been nice seeing more and more LGBTQIA+ people coming out. It’s just scary to think that can all drastically change in a moment. Last year’s Pride was the first time I felt compelled to carry pepper spray to the event. Feels like the tides are turning, and not in a good way.
Edit: Just want to add one thing. I don’t see my role here as activism, necessarily. I’m pretty active locally, and I feel compelled to uphold and defend myself as well as my neighbors and loved ones. I’m actually fine with echo chambers online because it’s the only place I can connect with like-minded people.
I’m pretty critical of fake allyship because that’s what I’ve done a lot of my life, not gonna lie and now I’m making up for those bad years. I’m hoping that reading diverse voices and actually reading some theory for once is gonna help me out, and considering I’m finally beginning to accept my queerness and question my identity, I’ll certainly be more in tune with the struggle.
I’ve also been lucky to meet a lot of people, and lucky to see more than my neck of the woods and travel. While I’ve only been to countries in the colonial core, I’m hoping to eventually be able to afford to change that.
:(
That sounds rough. I’ve not been to any parades but I’ve nearly been to one in NYC that was happening when I was traveling, but I decided not to since i wasn’t out at that point. I will certainly be at a few this year.
Same, my friend. And not only bad allyship, but years of addiction and hurting people. I’m fairly old, and it’s been a long journey. I ran in leftist circles even back in the 90s, but I’d say I was an ignorant liberal posturing, going through motions, naively thinking things would just sorta turn out okay.
I’m not the most widely read person, but can recommend a few books. I’ve also got some links to zines if you want some shorter readings.
Truly wish you the best, and I hope we in the community are able to help
Oh, they’re great fun! Mine here isn’t that great because it’s a small town, but I’ve also been to the one in Minneapolis a few times, and it was spectacular! Just the most positive vibes, ever. Unfortunately, my husband’s ADHD has started getting overstimulated from the events, but I still go every year to show support. I lived through a time when a parade here was unimaginable, so I feel like it’s the least I can do.