Heyuh, any hot tips on how I can get the hell out of this abuse house? BioParents have decided that one “no” is far too many and they’ve decided to try to break into my room. They’re yelling a bunch of bullshit and telling me to get out but also they’re trying to work out how to break into my room?!
I’m in rural northeastern Oklahoma; I’ve got a bit of money (assuming they don’t rob me of that somehow) but no real means of supporting myself because I’m autistic and agoraphobic in the middle of nowhere, relying on them for everything. I’ve finally got just a little bit of help (some medications at least, nothing fancy) and it’s just too little too late I guess.
tl;dr: BioParents threatening, bullying me. Need some kind of lasting escape, need help creating my own life if such thing is possible. Need to never be here again.
Edit: Sorry, I’m a bit scattered. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. Couldn’t find anywhere that is. Also I may lose “their” Internet connection because cutting me off from help is totally not abusing me but actually a reasonable way for them to “take back their property” (they want all of my keys as part of throwing me out, I’ve never been able to deal with confrontation and they know it… blah blah BS). May be able to use my phone… ugh.
Edit 2: They called the cops on me.
Edit 3: The guy with the Punisher tat explained that no one had done anything wrong but they can’t throw me out without going through the eviction process. BioMom has been through that process before (she used to run an apartment complex!) so she damn well knew she couldn’t do that, and that the cops wouldn’t help her unless they were just hardcore transphobes who’d just as soon shoot me. No shock to me, the only logical reason she called them was to bully me harder or just get me killed.
Edit 4: Night now, managed a kitchen+toilet trip. Didn’t get thrown directly into jail nor “institutionalized” for daring to disobey my dear sweet loving and supportive (sarcasm) mother and her imaginary right to invade every detail of my life. Still don’t know where to go. I’m too old for many things, too young for others. Kinda afraid (ashamed?) to even try to contact any kind of shelter because like… they’ve got a handful of rooms and I’m gonna ask for one because I’m a thirty-something loser who’s broken and getting thrown out? They made me broken and they’re throwing me out for trying to keep one single detail of my life from her but… damn, is that really fair to ask, when others have been through so much worse? Besides, probably nowhere has any space available, so I’ll just be stressing over a phone call or whatever and get nothing from it but more stress. FML, wish I’d been born to an actually decent family or not at all. (Edit 4b: No-go on the whole family/friends thing.)
Edit 5: Still alive! Feels like none of this is even real, like I must’ve just dreamed it all. I think it’s this room messing with my head, like nothing can ever change. Am just yapping I guess 🤷 (Edit 5b: Oh, edits count as bumps. Sorry >.<; )
Edit 6: Now BioMom’s lashing out at BioDad too. Apparently she’s going to take us to hell with her when/after(?) she dies. What the actual fuck. Anyway, in case he comes and kills me I’d like to mention that the new name I’ve been flirting with is Keris. Nocritter asked and I’m in no state to be soul-searching right now but I kinda want to say it, I guess. Might as well try to be as me as I can when I don’t know if there’s gonna be a me in ten minutes. On the plus side, if she decides to still go to her thing on Monday I’ll have a window for escape. Just have to figure out how, and where to go.
Edit 6b: Okay, not dead yet. No idea what’s going on out there; haven’t heard anything in a while. Realized I may sound a little insane being afraid of BioDad when BioMom is the one screaming about taking people to Hell with her. She’s very movement impaired and can’t get to my end of the house on her own. Sad, yes. Complicated. He, on the other paw, is as cruel as she lets him get by with. He’s always been physically intimidating (though not yet “violent”), verbally abusive, always looking to do as much damage as he can without her scolding him for it. So if she’s not a factor… he’s a threat.
Edit/Update 7: They taped a seven-day eviction notice to my door. Looks like state law requires thirty but Idunno if I can last that long anyway, given I’m afraid to even cross the lil hallway to get to the toilet. I’m very not okay, I need somewhere safe to go, at least long enough to calm down and figure out what the hell to do but there’s just nothing for it. Might be able to afford a hotel for a couple weeks if I don’t eat. I’m not eating anyway so maybe that’s not so bad. No friends, no family, no space in shelters (and I don’t meet anyone’s criteria anyway), no place to go if I do manage to leave, no idea where else to even try or ask. Hell, I’m almost out of bottled water too. If any brave adventurers wanna swoop in and rescue me, now’s the time :-\
Thanks for trying, I guess. And for saying my name.
Kinda hard to not feel totally alone, or do anything but curl up and cry. I’m just supposed to have my shit together by now and I don’t, so fuck my life 🤷 Managed to call the only place that seemed at all likely but all I got was another phone number. Hardest thing for me to use, given my apparent phobia of phones and doors. What a joke that I ever hoped to have any kind of life.
To be fair, judging by the current state of politics, age has nothing to do with having your shit together 😅
Totally understand the phones thing, I have said/agreed to a lot of dumb shit just to end a phone call as soon as possible.
A bus to a different state is likely a good option, may cost you a day of hotel time but greatly improve things after. I doubt that Oklahoma is able or willing to provide aid. While Illinois is listed as a trans-safe state on that map from ErinInTheMorning, I’ve heard it’s pretty much just Chicago, the rest of the state being kinda crappy: Colorado looks like a closer option to oklahoma but I have no idea on how travel is to get there given the whole “mountains” thing.
It’s easy to underestimate how much it helps to put some distance between yourself and people who harm you (physically and mentally). The comfort of not having to think about them just showing up to abuse you more because you’re still nearby.
Might be worth another post to get more eyes on it and (hopefully) somebody near-ish to help get you outta there!! The other place (red-dit) isn’t a bad idea as well as they still have a larger “population” than Lemmy
I once managed to get a little time away from them with some people I thought were friends. It was really nice. I started growing a little, almost became a person. Then that fell through and I got stuck back in this awful box and could just feel the life draining out of me. She swore everything’d be better but it’s just been worse. Sometimes I feel just a little hopeful that I can not just get away but get better :-\
As for the Other Place, I’ve already deleted my account there. I think even if I figured out where to post, a brand new account wouldn’t be allowed to and probably I’d look suspicious as hell if I were :-\ Not even gonna rant about how fucked-up it is that asking for help can even be suspicious :|
Was thinking about maybe Minnesota, since MN Transplant (though they’ve given up on the transplanting thing) has a bunch of resources on seemingly everything, in trans-friendly flavour. Resources aren’t a safety net, a support network, nor a plan, though, so I’ve got several states’ worth (maybe Colorado? Maybe Oregon? Washington? Parts of Cali? Chicago even?) of random bits of wood, a pile of tools I can’t name, and no mentor nor manual but I’ve suddenly got to build a house :-\ No time to even figure anything out. Not in a reasonable situation for trying to, even. Don’t know anycritter anywhere. Very stress! Lost alone. Should’ve found a friend before saying “no” to a self-obsessed control freak who thinks she owns me and her cruel, hateful slave, I guess :-\
Gotta take a nap. Too sleepy. More pain “tomorrow.”