Just to have some conversation here I’m curious how you chose your name if you’ve already chosen one and what the story behind it is? And if you haven’t chosen your name yet, maybe people are able to help you decide.

As for me it was always pretty clear which name I would choose because a few years before even realising I’m trans much less coming out I asked my mum what name I would have gotten if I was born a girl. She told me that I always successfully hid my genitals on every ultrasound picture (kind of prophetic in hindsight) so my parents had to choose a name for both possibilities. And thus a name was already chosen for me that fit perfectly. 🥰

I’m curious to hear your stories!

  • mokus
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    5 months ago

    I’m not completely sure why but I wanted to experience my name as something to internalize rather than giving myself full freedom to choose. Probably a combination of knowing I’d be paralyzed with choice and also just feeling that it’s more in line with the cis-normative experience to have a name imposed on you and learn to live in it.

    “Pick the name they were planning to give you if…” didn’t work for me since they gave that one to my younger sister. Female versions of my birth name were just way too close to an identity I don’t want, so that was out too. I wasn’t out to my parents at the time I picked a name, so I also didn’t want to just ask them. In the end, I looked through baby name lists for my birth year and picked something at about the same rank in popularity that seemed like one they might have picked.

    Oddly enough, that landed me on a stereotypically trans name but I feel I can justifiably claim it’s just coincidence :)

    For the middle name, I chose the middle name of my grandmother who I loved and respect deeply - I might have taken her first name as my middle name but it doesn’t flow well with my first, and I had already given it to my daughter anyway.