• Neato
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    1182 months ago

    The number of people either too dense or too willfully misogynistic to understand what this is about is depressing.

    If you’re arguing bear statistics or saying “not all men” or decrying misandry, then you’ve totally missed the point. If you are doing it intentionally, you’re the type of men women would choose the bear over.

    The fact that anyone would choose a dangerous animal over a random man is an indictment against the culture surrounding male privilege and should spark introspection and change. Arguments against this is just ignoring women and solidifies the decision that the bear is better.

    • StrikerOP
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      422 months ago

      Honestly, no matter what side of the debate you are on its still dystopian to think that women would actually think to go to a bear over a random man when faced with the choice.

      I am being introspective about this though. We created a culture of fear. A lot of it is through the consequences of rape culture and I think a large part is through an unhealthy about of true crime that’s being made. Constantly blasting worse case scenarios into people’s heads. I dunno, I just despise how we all just accepted not to trust one another and it seems like we’ve all just accepted that this to way to be about it. I just see it as a example of the alienation being pushed by capitalism.

      It’s makes me a little mad tbh. Being perfectly honest it should make everyone mad. Like tbh I still think going with a random guy is the correct answer to this but we all should come together, look at this whole situation and realise the dystopian implications of this.

      • @Pronell@lemmy.world
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        512 months ago

        Yes! Thank you!

        Does it hurt that women feel that way? Of course it does, so let’s work to be better so that random people can trust each other!

        Angrily lashing out at the women who are pondering the benefits of a bear isn’t gonna help.

        Be someone a woman would feel safe to be around. Call it out when those around you fail that test.

        Create that safer environment. It isn’t impossible.

        • Fire Witch
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          322 months ago

          Be someone a woman would feel safe to be around. Call it out when those around you fail that test.

          Create that safer environment. It isn’t impossible.

          Thank you for demonstrating healthy masculinity. The rest of this thread is a trainwreck of victim blaming.

      • @ChocoboRocket@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I totally understand why women would pick bear, as bear society doesn’t bend over backwards to victimize women.

        Most power structures cater to the people who abuse power. Police, church, courts, military, etc all tend to go crazy easy on men who abuse women.

        Republicans want to take away women’s rights/independence, limit/eliminate divorce, force birth for rape/incest. Police who assault women are protected and don’t face consequences, and most religions literally view women as a subspecies that serve men.

        Maybe the average man is totally normal and helpful, but the history of violence between men and women is like 98% men killing women with heaps of Rape, confinement, physical/mental abuse etc.

        The worst any Bear could do is kill someone in 1-2 minutes, maybe longer.

        It’s also an incredibly loaded situation in that being alone in the woods with a bear is “natural” and being alone in the woods with a strange man already sounds like a horror movie plot/murder news story.

        There’s also the constant “stranger danger” fear women will pretty much always experience because men can consistently and easily overpower most women. All women I have met seem to know at least one or more women who have been sexually assaulted, had their drink spiked etc, so it’s not some obsession with crime shows or scary movies driving this fear. It’s actual rapists prevalent in society and emboldened enough by lack of consequences to act.

        Even in cases where it seems obvious Rape happened, it’s a brutal gauntlet of gas lighting, victim blaming, “can’t ruin their life for a mistake”, etc that stop a huge amount of reporting and convictions.

        Going back to the question itself, answer ratios would probably change depending on the area, would women be less inclined to pick bear if they were in a library instead of the woods because it’s unnatural for a bear to be in that environment?

        People need to relax, and focus on the real story. Women have an incredibly long and valid list of reasons to be afraid of men and society needs to do better to make women feel safe

        • @cannibalkitteh
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          202 months ago

          Ultimately, bear is the less complicated decision, not entirely because it is without danger, but because it is not subject to gaslighting. Most people understand that a bear attack is bad and won’t raise concerns about how you led the bear on or that what you were wearing was to blame.

          • Drusas
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            82 months ago

            Although, if you live somewhere that grizzlies are common, and you’re out hiking or biking without a bear bell, there will be some judgment on what you were (not) wearing.

            /used to live in Alaska

        • @captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          112 months ago

          Yeah I’m probably more comfortable with strange men in a library than strange bears. The woods are where strange bears go. The library is where strange people go.

          Now if I have them making advances towards me, bear in a library 100%. My local bears are black bears and they can be scared off easier than some men.

      • Neato
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        212 months ago

        I agree totally with the first sentiment but I don’t think the recent prevalence of True Crime media really plays into it at all. This is not a new thing. Women have been making these risk assessment decisions for generations in the modern age. Girls are taught this kind of thing with how to protect themselves at a young age.

        This is primarily a cultural issue and it won’t change unless the majority of people propagating (intentionally or not) realize what’s happening and work to change.

        • StrikerOP
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          102 months ago

          I dunno, the media and its relationship to crime is well documented. Many people accept that old people that panic about inner city crime despite it being at a record low since the 1970s are victims of this phenomenon. Why is it difficult to believe that young women who consume a lot of true crime content aren’t also effected by this phenomenon in some way. I have studied psychology and I did do a journalism course which, admittedly, I dropped out of. I just don’t like how fear based society has become. People are just too quick to assume the absolute worst and I kinda view this bear question as a reflection on that.

          • @RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works
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            72 months ago

            I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t been at the very least harrassed by men they don’t know. I know so, so many who have been assaulted, and that’s just the women who have chosen to share their experience. Thinking your couple college classes means you know more about women’s experiences than women themselves is ridiculous.

          • @Maggoty@lemmy.world
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            42 months ago

            The media is bad but the sexual assault and harassment statistics are sobering. And they’re highly under reported because enforcement is often a joke.

            It’s not an exaggeration to say most women either know someone who was assaulted or harassed, or they were themselves. And it was likely while they were a teenager. That kind of lesson doesn’t come from MTV.

        • @orrk@lemmy.world
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          22 months ago

          no, true crime definitely plays into this, because the question is not asking “what is safer”, but “what feels safer”, and while it’s not inherently wrong for anyone to mistrust random people, especially women in decently large parts of society, this is a feeling question, and like it or not, but Society does consist of the stories we tell ourselves and others, and while we still have a long way to go, you can not argue that women are less safe now than during the 50s - 60s - 70s - 80s, yet the perception of many people is that it has scarcely ever been more dangerous, and that also has a reason.

    • @driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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      402 months ago

      Are people arguing statistics about it? Like how many women are killed by bears every year compared to men? Lmao, they’re not even close.

      • @butter@midwest.social
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        202 months ago

        I’ve seen one video on the subject that my wife showed me, then I had a conversation with my wife about it.

        When you’re looking at statistics, women attacked by bears per year vs women attacked by men per year, it’s not taking into account the fact that 99% of women don’t get into situations where they are near bears. Most women (and men) don’t go hiking in bear populated woods frequently. Like how the overall odds of getting struck by lightning is low, but some people are struck 8 times are survive.

        The better statistic for this argument is that a man is more likely going to kill you in an encounter, should it escalate. I didn’t fact check this, but I’ll take this video at it’s word.

        • Zorque
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          72 months ago

          Almost like that was part of the original article.

        • @Maggoty@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Part of the reason many people never see a bear is because they actively stay away from humans. Everything being equal, (the bear is healthy, it’s not near hibernation, and there’s no cubs nearby) you could quite easily do the animal version of hanging out with them. (Animals are fine paralleling each other by something like 50 meters)

          Same thing with wolves. They’re so naturally adverse to human contact that handlers at wolf rescue operations just literally walk into the enclosure, drop their food and walk away. For vet stuff they come in with cushioned sticks and just gently pin them to the ground.

          Now I don’t suggest trying any of this (bear or wolf) without some training and backup but it illustrates just how much normal animals don’t want anything to do with humans.

    • @slowwooderrunsdeep@lemmy.world
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      222 months ago

      It’s also amazing how people can have this argument in one thread and then go to another thread and leave a comment that just says “ACAB”.

      You don’t trust cops? Why not? Because of a few bad apples?

      Sounds like you get it…

      • @Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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        152 months ago

        That argument doesn’t hold water. One is an immutable characteristic, and the other is a career choice. A career that filters for certain personalities.

        • Well first off, being a man is not an immutable characteristic, because transgender people exist.

          Second, the difference between the two groups you bring up isn’t relevant in this comparison, because pointing out the differences between them doesn’t negate the similarities. Both are groups with an inordinate amount of power (physical or legal) over any outgroup and are supported by cultural norms that allow them to exercise that power largely without repercussions. Both groups are also protected from consequences by others within the group, regardless if the others agree with their questionable decisions. And most importantly, both groups are human, meaning the individuals vary widely within the group along the moral spectrum. Even if most within the group are good, bad actors will always exist and there’s no way to know which one you’re dealing with at face value.

          Even if it’s not a perfect comparison, it’s apt enough to support my point.

          • @Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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            232 months ago

            Being a man is immutable, unless you are saying being transgender is a choice.

            I brought up the largest difference between the groups, not the only significant difference between the groups. One is a choice, the other isn’t. This difference alone is more important than any similarities your comparison can draw.

            It is a highly flawed argument that only serves to get back pats from those that agree with you.

          • NoIWontPickAName
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            32 months ago

            Well I know a couple of black guys that have committed crimes, I better paint them all with the same brush.

          • @chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            32 months ago

            Well first off, being a man is not an immutable characteristic, because transgender people exist.

            The aspect of being a man that makes people consider you a threat by default is an immutable characteristic though, if you are a trans woman people will treat you that way even more than otherwise.

      • Drusas
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        2 months ago

        The idea is that ACAB because one bad apple spoils the bunch. So yeah. You’re missing the point of the idiom you are using.

    • ThrowawayOnLemmy
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      2 months ago

      This whole thing is just another way of pitting men and women against each other.

      • Neato
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        402 months ago

        Men having to listen to women and be confronted with reality and the harms their gender and society are actively causing is NOT pitting people against each other. Women don’t want to fight and ostracize men. They want to be safe FROM men.

        If you see this discussion and feel defensive, that’s your brain trying to tell you something’s wrong and you should probably analyze why you feel like you are being attacked.

        • ThrowawayOnLemmy
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          2 months ago

          See, this is what I mean. Stupid arguments. We immediately go to pitting gender experiences against each other.

          You’re not confronting reality when you compare men to animals. You’re literally projecting your insecurities onto me by assuming I’m defensive over this topic. I’m not defending either man or woman or bear in this argument. I’m saying this whole topic is a stupid hypothetical and all it does is lead people to argue, like you literally did with me. You’re not confronting reality by saying your safe with a bear, because reality is, you’ll never go be with a bear.

          If you want to have a real discussion about the very real and serious harms that women have to deal with, I’m happy to discuss that. That’s a topic worth discussing. This isn’t that discussion. This is a bad faith hypothetical designed to frame a conversation against men for the sake of stirring more shit. And honestly this’ll be the last I engage with this thread because its really already consumed too much of my time.

          I hope you understand, I’m not trying to fight or belittle your opinion or attack you. If you wanna frame this as me being defensive, that’s your prerogative, but I just found this whole question to be dumb when I first heard about it a few days ago, and this article just once again reinforced how dumb I found it.

          • Neato
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            172 months ago

            not all men!

            Enough men that most women would choose a fucking bear. Look in the mirror: you’re the problem.

            • NoIWontPickAName
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              92 months ago

              Oh damn, am I?

              What with my respecting women’s choices, supporting them and all that?

              Do I need to go change everyone’s opinions or is just living my life, doing right, and treating people as equals enough?

              Yeah, some of us get sick of hearing how men do this and men do that.

              Well guess fucking what, I’m a man who doesn’t do all the bad shit, and still yet I hear about how men are bad.

              Shit gets old quick.

              Is any of this going to cause me to change my life and how I act?

              Not even a bit, my principles don’t require anyone’s input.

              It’s like how when men start talking about how all women are bitches, if I was a woman I would get straight pissed at that as well.

              That is bullshit behavior no matter who is doing it.

          • Zorque
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            102 months ago

            You’re conflating what you think argument is with what the article was actually about.