Heya, I’m Nen, been on hrt for a little over a year now and made some discoveries about myself along the way.
I didn’t expect that I’d be gender fluid, but funnily enough my sister called it and told me they weren’t surprised! It’s been a little bit of a shock to realize that I don’t mind being read as a guy sometimes, I’ve spent so much time trying to avoid looking like one just to find that I’m rocking my beard with a binder on.
I definitely know that being on estrogen (and now progesterone!) is the best for my mental health, and I definitely lean feminine in presentation overall. I feel more comfortable in my body as well when I feel less restricted by gender labels.
There’s a few struggles however. I do find myself presenting the wrong way and only discovering later in retrospect, dysphoria can be different depending on the day (too masculine one day, too feminine the other, or often not androgynous enough). I also struggle with correcting others on my pronouns, but that’s another struggle with being a people pleaser and avoiding conflict lmao
Ultimately I’ve been gender fluid for a while now, I am just more confident in the label after wearing it for a while. Despite the few struggles I have I feel more free to be myself
It’s an awesome feeling to come to accept! I know many trans individuals who started off going hard binary trans, and then settling on something more in the genderfluid or nonbinary spectrum. I think it feels more right for some people to go full binary trans in the beginning in situations in which they have a part of themselves that has been heavily repressed by society. After they’ve “got it out of their system” so to speak, some people realize that they’re actually not always one or the other gender.
It’s an experience that some relate to and some don’t. Congratulations on coming to a deeper understanding of yourself! <3