This weekend was a hard one, one of the hardest in a while.

My partner is always so supportive, and she got to have fun with another girl on Saturday night.

When we talked about it afterwards, she felt that she had been able to relieve a sapphic itch that had been sitting there.

From that it came out with the complexity she feels surrounding myself, having known me as a cis male before the egg started cracking earlier in the year.

Recently we’d been playing around with caged chastity rather than just through orgasm control. To her that was more of a sissy thing, so neutral/male leaning into femme presentation. I liked the cage, not sure I even want to look at it right now.

When we were sitting in the hotel room she talked me through an experiment. I was in my lingerie and she had me close my eyes, move in front of the mirror, drop my panties and then open them looking at myself, with my lingerie hem pulled up a bit.

My instinct was to look away, to dislike what I saw hanging there… to want to hide it.

I asked for her help going to Victoria’s Secret yesterday, got measured for a bra… and bought two… wanting to give some shape and form to my chest.

Not sure why I’m writing this tbh, other than to express myself a little to the void in the safety of strangers.

Going to talk to a gender support line when they open later in the afternoon… for now I’m hiding under a blanket cuddling Blahaj and occasionally crying.