Help! My live-in partner of 3 years has too many clothes and it’s overrunning our house. We live in a two bedroom condo with only two closets in the entire unit, and there’s just not enough space.
At last count (2 years ago) there was over 300 articles of clothing - shirts, pants, jackets. There is constantly piles of clothes everywhere, clean and dirty, and nowhere to put them. They wear multiple outfits each day and throw them on the floor in the evening.
2 years ago I bought a few Ikea clothing containers to slide under the bed, and those are packed full of folded shirts that are never worn. And they just keep buying more.
I’ve spoken with them about this multiple times and they say that they’ll get rid of some of the clothes, but never did.
On the flip side, I have four pairs of pants, a few shorts, around a dozen shirts and a suit.
What can I do?
Communication and boundaries. You need to decide whether or not this is something you are willing to live with. If not, communicate what you need to see. If your partner does not respond, you can try enforcing your boundaries. If you’re still living in a laundry heap after that, it’s up to you to decide if you want to end things, or share your life with someone who is not going to respect your boundaries. (I wouldn’t.) Sounds like you’ve already done the communication bit, so what’s got you in denial about the lack of respect? Don’t think about the relationship you wish you had, look at the relationship you have. Is THIS what you want?
I’d also personally be concerned with spending patterns that don’t reflect a reasonable need or occasional luxury.
EDIT: ‘jet’ has a suggestion on totes that is a decent suggestion on what enforcing your boundaries might look like. There’s a difference between interdependency and codependency, and sometimes we or our partners need help. Your partner’s response to the enforcement of your boundaries will be telling.