I’ve 🐝 bee-n fighting for two years now. I have this « job » that I’ve been stuck with forever now. My inability to enjoy the little things of life is just another indication of my dereliction: hating the bitter man I’m becoming, seeing myself in people I despise, being unable to think, speak, create.

There’s no future for me here. No way out from my work. No time to dedicate to what I love. I read the introduction of Camus’ « L’homme Révolté » about absurdism in other to be something else than a consuming shitty human, and I don’t agree with most of the moral dilemmas: killing yourself is not the same as killing another person. I’m making a choice for myself and maybe, one of the limits of this argument is that I’m imposing my absence on others…

But who might miss me? My family & friends? It’s true, there are the ones that made me stay this long, but nothing is changing, and I need to help myself.

ಥ_ಥ, maybe see you tomorrow ?

  • JVT038@feddit.nlEnglish
    6·
    10 months ago

    Personally, the main thing that makes me stay alive is the hope that it might get better in the future. I tell myself that as long as I believe in myself, there’s always a chance for a better future. Always a chance that whatever bullshit I’m in, it’ll be over eventually. Additionally, I keep suicide close with me. For all problems, I think to myself that there’s always one solution, which is suicide. This thought kind of comforts me, because regardless of how bad things become, I always have an easy way out.

    For some general tips, I’d suggest you start exercising. Additionally, make sure you stay hydrated, drink enough and eat enough. Basically, just make sure you’ve got a healthy body, because a healthy mind cannot exist in an unhealthy body. Or at least, it’s very difficult to have a healthy mind in an unhealthy body.

    Next, I suggest you start thinking ‘What’s the main problem in my life right now? If I were a millionaire, how would I use my wealth to get out of my problems?’. If you know what exactly is causing your unhappiness, then you can try and fix it. And if your job is a problem, then be more specific. What exactly about your job makes you unhappy?