Mods, I hope this doesn’t fall under the megapost

  • Xhieron@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    162
    ·
    11 months ago

    This is the best parody I could come up with:

    Vivek Ramaswamy is suspending his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination and has informed his team to go fuck themselves because he got his, an official tells CNN. In the early hours of Tuesday morning, the former candidate was spotted in the parking lot of the News Corp. Building offering free handies for any executive who would give him an interview for a cushy political consulting gig.

    This story is breaking, but who really gives a shit if it’s updated? Ramaswamy was an also-ran when he started, and now he’s a has-been. Other possible hyphenated verb compounds include Trump-slurper and woman-hater.

    The original article contains 28 words, this summary contains more (and is entirely useless). Saved an arbitrarily large negative percent. I’m not a bot and I’m not open source! I’m just an asshole who hates what these Republican pricks are doing to democracy, and this comment is a parody. Salt grains advised.