• Flying Squid@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    10 months ago

    I have an evil dog. A very evil dog. If she could make a wish, the first would would be for an infinite number of baby bunnies to eat because the day she found the nest of baby bunnies and ate them all was the best day of her life and her second wish would be for an infinite number of other things to kill and then play with after she’s killed them.

    The other one would wish for me to scratch his belly until the end of time, so I’m not giving him any wishes.

    • KevonLooney@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      10 months ago

      That’s not evil. Lots of dogs were bred for thousands of years to hunt small animals. It’s like asking you not to like eating ice cream.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        10 months ago

        Were they also bred to play with them for hours and not let anyone near them until you trick them into letting them go?

        And then there was the time she brought half a squirrel through the dog door. Just half a squirrel.

        • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          10 months ago

          She’s learning to share. Good dog!

          Or, if those happened in reverse order: She’s learning that you don’t want her to share the animals. Good dog!

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            10 months ago

            She still doesn’t want to share. She just forgot she left it on the living room floor.

            Oh, and there was another time she brought in half a rabbit.

            • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              10 months ago

              To be fair, who hasn’t set down the half squirrel they were gnawing on and forgotten about it? Maybe the half squirrel and half rabbit were supposed to go together and make an even more fun animal to maim and kill play with. Cute little Dogtor Frankenstein.