[Logo containing a smiling cow in a giant pasture goes here]

Menu

• Happy burger: Hand-crafted half-pound burger using free-range, grass-fed beef.
• Chicken burger: Lovingly-made chicken patties, sustainably-sourced from a queer, wxmxn-exploited ranch in the Amazon rainforest.
• Veggie burger: Impossible patty that has been drenched in cheese. All patties have been soaked overnight in milk and fried with happy-caged eggs.
• Fries: Fried with pure beef tallow and lard
• Ton of CO2: Because we care about the environment, we will let you release a ton of CO2 into the atmosphere. Don’t worry, we buy carbon offsets!

Vegan menu

• Side of extra pickles
• Soda (vegan optional)