It’s been almost 8 months since I graduated Uni. No one wants to hire a student with no experience. Been living in my parents basement for all that time. Been working nearly every single day trying to better myself for a job to no avail. Been drowning in debt for nearly 10 years. Mom hasn’t been able to work due to health problems. Dad just diagnosed with the worst possible disease you can think about so he can’t work. It all falls to me to work. Family had to resort to a social assistance to pay the basics requirement for bills. Owe Sister and aunts money. All my friends have moved away or too busy to talk or do anything. Last meaningful relationship, which entails just talking and doing nothing more, was about 5 years ago. And no matter what I do, who I turn to for help, how much I kill myself trying to get a job, how much I try to better this situation, it all ends up with another rejection email, another message left on read, another email with no response, and more debt that I can never repay back.
Yeah, I get why villains want to destroy the world in movies. The world sucks, everyone sucks, there’s no good people in this world. Miracles don’t exist, dreams are just imaginary, everyone doesn’t care about you or what you’re going through.
And like everything else I’ve tried doing to help, this won’t get any attention. It seems like the universe forgot I existed or just made me to torment me. Because it just seems that I’m just a shadow in a dark place.
Forgotten and alone.
I can certainly get why you feel that way. It doesn’t help that people only show and talk about the cheery aspects of life. School in general tries to sell you a fantasy world where you can do anything you set you mind to. There is a grain of truth in that statement but for most people that is bullshit.
As far as wanting to destroy the world, it helps to remember that most people are just muddling through life the same as you. They don’t necessarily like it anymore than you. They are just trying to make the best of the hand they have been dealt with.
I agree that people largely suck, but it doesn’t help anyone to criticize them, all it will accomplish is making them defensive/angry. Instead I try to give them real heartfelt praise or compliments. It usually has the effect of cheering each other up and making you both happier. Sharing real appreciation is such a rare act that it is a wonderful surprise when someone does.
Sorry, if I got too preachy there. I know sometimes you just need to vent your frustrations and advice is not really helpful. Regardless, I hope I helped you out a little bit.