• awnery@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            so, our business model failed when the german guy died and stopped sneezing into the bread. he had some unique gross weird boogers.

            Now, I have stolen this Federation starship to seek out new yeast!

        • mateomaui@reddthat.com
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          10 months ago

          Oh that’s just one example. Pass denied.

          edit: feel free to point out weird food from here, I probably will agree.

          • zepheriths@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            You want the really weird I can give you that to, down here we eat nutria. Basically water rats. I have no problem insulting our cuisine, but as a green ball once said " if you are going to insult me do it properly"

              • clayh@lemmy.ml
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                10 months ago

                Because tourists from the Midwest can’t pronounce etouffee

                • mateomaui@reddthat.com
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                  10 months ago

                  Tourists cannot pronounce most of the street names here and we’re fine with it. Make tourists learn new vocabulary, or at least believe they’re visiting a different country or something. If you call it cheesecake, expect them to think of it as cheesecake.

    • protist@mander.xyz
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      10 months ago

      I’m from Louisiana/Texas with family in the Midwest. When we’d visit for the holidays, it was some disgusting shit. Green, opaque jello molds with random foods suspended in it, pickles and cream cheese on toothpicks, and random “salads” like the ones above. My mom (from the south) made macaroni and cheese casserole one year up there and everyone was floored

      • JaymesRS@literature.cafe
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        10 months ago

        Were the pickles with cream cheese wrapped in ham or some other deli meat? Because those are delicious.

        • protist@mander.xyz
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          10 months ago

          I’m not going to lie, yes they are, but they’re not Thanksgiving food, dammit!

          • JaymesRS@literature.cafe
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            10 months ago

            😀

            Those are delicious anytime snacks, I’ll have you know. (Seriously, I make them once a month or so. Great low cal snack)

    • TheMauveAvenger@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I love Cajun food, but all of the dishes pretty much taste the same with different textures. Let’s not pretend like Louisiana is the mecca of cooking here.

      • zepheriths@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I don’t mean to but compared to the image above, food in Louisiana looks like a Gordon Ramsey dish

        • Zorque@kbin.social
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          10 months ago

          Was “All of you” not directed at “all of us”, then, and instead directed only at the people making the abomination casseroles instead?

          You should be more specific in your language next time.

  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Ahhh, Mom’s pineapple cheese salad. Reminds me of when she used to handcuff us to the chairs and tell us to go ahead and scream while spooning it down our gullets. I miss her every day since the hay baler accident. Dinner just isn’t the same.

  • Name-Not-Applicable@kbin.social
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    10 months ago

    I’m from small-town Iowa originally. My grandma made many of these “Midwest Salads”.

    I went back for a funeral a few years ago. The was a reception/lunch at our old church. I got a serving of something that looked like jello with cream cheese on top, seemed interesting. But no, it was jello with mandarin oranges in it, and it wasn’t cream cheese, but about a quarter-inch of Miracle Whip on top, sprinkled with grated carrots. I took a bite, smiled, turned to my wife, and said, “I’m home again!”

      • Slowy@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Unfortunately miracle whip is more like a tangy mayonnaise and it has no business in a dessert

        • evranch@lemmy.ca
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          10 months ago

          Lol I misread it as cool whip, because who the hell would put miracle whip on that!

          Cool whip still sucks compared to whipped cream, but it would still make a decent dessert. Miracle whip though, yuck

        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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          10 months ago

          You forgot that miracle whip is Satans anal palp. This message brought to you by several generations of matriachal induced trauma.

  • squiblet@kbin.social
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    10 months ago

    Ha ha. I had a gf from oklahoma whose mom made an old family recipe, “Pea Salad”. Of course I’d never heard of pea salad. It is cubes of cheddar cheese, chopped iceberg lettuce, canned peas, and Miracle Whip.

    • DefyTheLegends@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I’m from Germany and I know a “rice salad” that is basically the same recipe, but instead of cheddar and lettuce, you put in rice (obviously cooked) and tuna. And a little bit of vinegar before mixing it, covering the bowl, and throwing it into the fridge until cool.

      That said, most people I know, including myself, think it slaps.

      • pseudo@jlai.lu
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        10 months ago

        Yeah, according to french or german criteria, that is a salad. And I’m sure we could find some store-bought salad dressing which remind this “miracle whip”.

        I’m not into store-bought dressing, but this salad sound good enough for me.

        • DefyTheLegends@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Miracle Whip is pretty similar to mayonnaise, though it has some slight differences. Don’t just throw any regular old salad dressing in there, because if they are similar to what I know as salad dressing, then it’s certainly going to end up back here in this community.

          • pseudo@jlai.lu
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            10 months ago

            I haven’t realized there is marshmallow in it just by looking at the picture. I am not putting vinegar on marshmallow, don’t worry.
            I go back on my word, that is not a salad and I don’t wanna eat it at all.

  • magnetosphere@kbin.social
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    10 months ago

    Seeing these “salads” fills me with the urge to quarantine the area, but also gives me that helpless, defeated feeling that the disease has already spread too far to contain.

    • phorq@lemmy.ml
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      10 months ago

      Might I interest you in a pizza salad? It’s bread or pasta, cheese and tomato sauce for a vegetable (feel free to substitute it with ketchup). There is no escape!

  • DontRedditMyLemmy@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    My joke about being from Iowa is that you could have a salad potluck without ever seeing a piece of lettuce! My family’s wildest is Snicker Salad, Tapioca Salad (marshmallows and mandarin oranges), and Cranberry Salad.

  • Alter_Id@kbin.social
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    10 months ago

    Midwesterner here. Admittedly, some of these can be… interesting (to be interpreted as passive aggressively as possible). Some can be excellent though. We have a pistachio salad in the family that is a go to, and if I don’t control myself I could eat a whole batch.

    • awnery@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      please elaborate on pistachio salad. why would you not just eat pistachios?

      • Alter_Id@kbin.social
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        10 months ago

        Ingredients include: whipped cream/Cool Whip, pistachio pudding, mini marshmallows, diced pineapple, and of course chopped pistachios. It’s obviously more of a dessert/sweet side dish type of thing. Pistachios alone, though delicious, wouldn’t fill the same role.

        • awnery@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          oh no! you’re possessed with the cool-whip-marshmallow-and-pineapple contagion! mister tuvok, let us casually discuss this imminent threat!

          • Alter_Id@kbin.social
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            10 months ago

            Yes, Captain. The contagion seems to be spreading rapidly. Almost as if people are finding the combination appetizing, and are perpetuating the phenomenon by way of potlucks and recipe sharing.

  • mateomaui@reddthat.com
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    10 months ago

    Pineapple cheese salad

    Never heard of this, wonder how it is baked on a pizza crust.

    (Yes, everyone’s cries are delicious.)

    • whatwhatwhatwhat@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      From what I can tell, the primary ingredients are:

      • Pineapple
      • Cheddar cheese
      • Crumbled bacon
      • Mini marshmallows

      The first three sound great on a pizza, but the marshmallows ruin it for me.

      • mateomaui@reddthat.com
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        10 months ago

        oh those are marshmallows. I thought they were some kind of white cheese cubes.

        I’d try it at least once for science.

        • Duranie@midwest.social
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          10 months ago

          At my boyfriend’s request I made sweet potato casserole for the first time ever. The recipe was… something.

          Basically mashed sweet potatoes with eggs and vanilla beaten in. Then a brown sugar, pecan, butter crumble topping, and then once done baking it gets mini marshmallows broiled on top.

          I don’t eat shit that sweet for dessert! Lol (although it’s disturbing how tasty it was )

          • Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Wait this is supposed to be the meal and not the dessert??
            I was thinking it sounded delicious but main course, holy shit

        • pseudo@jlai.lu
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          10 months ago

          Wait ? That’s sweet ? I’m disappointed. I was dreaming about some cheesy Midwest potatoes salad. Is custard use a sauce ? That’s original.

  • ℛ𝒶𝓋ℯ𝓃@pawb.social
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    10 months ago

    I postulate an evolutionary “Crabification” of culinary science:

    Everything, at the terminus of its evolutionary branch, becomes casserole.

    • TheOgreChef@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Why do all of these mid-west “salad” recipes have a 4-5 ingredients that seem ok, and then one god damn ingredient that is absolutely BONKERS. Like, why on earth does the cookie salad have mandarin oranges in it!? Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyy

      • JaymesRS@literature.cafe
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        10 months ago

        Sometimes people put pineapple in it too but that doesn’t work as well. It doesn’t sound like it should work but it does. ¯\(ツ)

        • TheOgreChef@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Sigh… fair enough. Not going to yuck anyone’s yums, but I feel like I need to know the lore behind all of the various salads now. Is there a VaatiVidya for mid-western artery-destroying family-gathering side-dishes that I can binge watch on YouTube?

          • thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.ml
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            10 months ago

            oh there’s lots of videos about the rise of jello in American cuisine. i haven’t seen any recently, and don’t feel like going through the effort of vetting a good one right now, but yeah, just look up something along those lines. it was considered a modern miracle of food science and quite trendy for a bit there. it was also heavily featured in one or more prominent government cookbooks in like the 50s being used in this kind of way. i don’t remember many of the details, but i think it was basically from a time when people were excited by new chemicals in their food and trusted scientists in s lab more than farmers in the field to make safe consistently available food. this was a similar time to wonder bread coming to popularity because flour contamination was becoming quiet prominent. we were entering a time when our population has reached modern scales, but our sanitation practices and knowledge hadn’t caught up.

      • mateomaui@reddthat.com
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        10 months ago

        I think in some cases there was a random can of fruit that hadn’t been used in ages and someone was like “what do we do with this?” And bags of abandoned mini marshmallows.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        There’s actually two answers to that.

        The first answer, and thus one that’s behind most of it, is that a lot of these originated on the back of canned goods, or other pre-packaged foods. That was sometimes more about a brand making recipes up as part of the sales push. You’d see the shit in magazines all the time when I was growing up.

        The other is what applies to the non commercial recipes, or at least is what I’ve been told over in reddit by food historians. And that’s the fact that once the idea of the weird recipes got started, people adapted them, or tried to make up their own based on what they already had. So you’d run into weird shit where someone made what seemed good to them, but it was lacking something, so they added what would seem crazy if you hadn’t already had some of the strange salads already.

        It works sometimes. Like the addition of pineapple to jambalaya. Or putting pickles on a peanut butter sandwich. That kind of thing where you add an ingredient that really stands out, but manages to balance things despite not necessarily going with the rest in a complementary way.

        Anyway, it’s pretty amazing what kind of oddball combinations end up tasting much better than they should

        • JaymesRS@literature.cafe
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          10 months ago

          I have 2 cookbooks that are literally just, “this recipe was from the back of the box/bag for xyz product that you don’t have anymore”.

  • pseudo@jlai.lu
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    10 months ago

    You people are all speaking about food but I don’t see any recipe here. I need to taste some of these Midwest or Louisiana cuisine before I have an opinion.

    I genuinely want to taste this salad. Also, if it has potatoes in it, it is a salad in my country.

    • 🔍🦘🛎@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I’m from the midwest. This ‘salad’ looks to be chunks of cheddar, pineapple, bacon, and marshmallow. If they were feeling particularly spicy, they added some mayonnaise. You honestly have no need to try this.

      • pseudo@jlai.lu
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        10 months ago

        I definitly don’t need to eat that. I’m going to make my own “sweet midwest salad” with cheddar, pineapple, potatoes and mayo. Still it has the merit to have inspired me.