One thing I don’t think women realize about making friends as a man is the way you’re treated by other people. It isn’t all due to lack of trying, it’s also that everyone has their guard up against you.
I’ve heard trans men talk about this, how they get super lonely after coming out. Presenting as a woman they were used to women being kind and men being friendly (even if they had an ulterior motive). Suddenly once you present as a man no one’s nice to you any more, lol
I’ve always associated that with being a city thing, because I’ve lived in cities and suburbs, and I’ve never been a woman.
In cities, most people won’t even say “good morning” back, but in the suburbs, you can strike up a whole conversation with someone just because you’re walking in the same direction.
I agree. I live on the very rural Oregon Coast, and everyone here is overly friendly. It’s actually kind of exhausting at this point lol. Way different from when I lived in the city. I need to find a good middle ground.
This is such a weird take to me, because I’ve always seen suburban as the natural default. A lot of things are in 10-30 minute walking distance, and the houses aren’t stacked on top of each other.
One thing I don’t think women realize about making friends as a man is the way you’re treated by other people. It isn’t all due to lack of trying, it’s also that everyone has their guard up against you.
I’ve heard trans men talk about this, how they get super lonely after coming out. Presenting as a woman they were used to women being kind and men being friendly (even if they had an ulterior motive). Suddenly once you present as a man no one’s nice to you any more, lol
I’ve always associated that with being a city thing, because I’ve lived in cities and suburbs, and I’ve never been a woman.
In cities, most people won’t even say “good morning” back, but in the suburbs, you can strike up a whole conversation with someone just because you’re walking in the same direction.
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I agree. I live on the very rural Oregon Coast, and everyone here is overly friendly. It’s actually kind of exhausting at this point lol. Way different from when I lived in the city. I need to find a good middle ground.
A good middleground between urban and rural is probably suburban. Or just wear visible headphones when you’re not in the mood, perhaps?
Suburban is a horrid mutant thing with none of the best of either rural or city.
We would have been much better off if our cities were built to hold people like in Europe
This is such a weird take to me, because I’ve always seen suburban as the natural default. A lot of things are in 10-30 minute walking distance, and the houses aren’t stacked on top of each other.