• Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I am glad someone is calling the Florida school system on their bullshit. Being non-binary hard and being treated like the coping mechanisms you use for avoiding hating the experience of dealing with people and existing in your body are somehow a delusion, some sort of sexual kink or deliberately confusing is like trying to go about your day with weights strapped to you. It makes dealing with every social interaction so tiring. It really feels like everybody else in the room is obsessed with your sex organs and characteristics like complete perverts that they don’t see the question is about how happy you are and how you feel about all the people in your life and whether you feel anxious and isolated being around them or just comfortable and able to express your full range of personhood.

    This teacher is standing up because they know there’s others much worse off who aren’t secure enough to do it. Pretty admirable I think.

      • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        A lot of people do not draw the distinction between talking about things in an educational context versus it being a way they express themselves for their own needs. Laws like this make people afraid to do so until it is contested because the act of contesting it is itself punitive. The cooling effect is implicit in the design of the law because it recognizes law removes people’s ability to support themselves in a society before it has a chance to be tested meaning only the secure of a minority under extreme fire can contest it and that means becoming very visible in circumstances where one’s safety often relies on being invisible.

        This teacher is likely under extreme fire right now by a mob of people telling them they are a pedophile, delusional, harmful and trying to exploit every shred of exposed weaknesses to gendered nonsense one naturally lets be known when one comes out as non-binary.

        Where legal protections are shaky schools will fire teachers under concerns for that teacher’s physical and mental safety if enough parents are valued at being a threat by feeling empowered by their interpretation of the law or the idea that a school is operating outside the law. Ultimately running a school is government money that needs to be paid so an employee going up against a school board for wrongful dismissal will not impact the individual school as much when the main currency for the school board employees is time and complexity of a bunch of individual parents suing because their little darling asked them what someone calling themselves Mx. means when they came home.

      • Ranvier@sopuli.xyz
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        1 year ago

        That’s a good point. Gorsuch’s surprising cross over to rule with the liberal justices in a recent supreme court ruling (Bostock vs Clayton County) allowed gender and sexual identifies to be protected by current federal employment law. The very logical conclusion that comes from, any discrimination on the basis of sexual or gender identity revolves around a person’ s assigned sex at birth, which is definitely prohibited, and you can’t discriminate on those things without it being an illegal discrimination test based on sex. Basically if you fire someone assigned male at birth for wearing a dress but not someone assigned female at birth for wearing a dress, this is sex discrimination, already protected by current federal law. Similarly if you’re firing a male for marrying a male but not firing a female for marrying a male, than that’s sex discrimination already prohibited by current law.

        Unfortunately I don’t know if the current Supreme Court reasoning would extend the existing federal law to protect non binary honorifics, since the school could argue it would fire anyone using a non binary honorific regardless of that person’s assigned sex at birth. Though maybe if you could get the school to admit they’d allow a non binary honorific for an intersex individual that would open up the door for non binary protections too via current law? But this is why we need a real updated federal law explicity protecting against discrimination on the basis of sexual and gender identifies, including non binary identities. In the meantime the states that do have explicit protections in their state laws are going to be much better places for non cis and hetero people to work in.

    • die444die@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Thank you for sharing how thus affects you. It’s important for people to see that this is affecting actual people and not some strawman concept they don’t understand.

      • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It’s something even a lot of my friends don’t even really get. I ended up going to a Birthday party where across the street from the restaurant there was a 250 plus rally of anti-trans protesters with zero counter protesters. We didn’t realize the thing would be there. I ended up not being able to eat because the stress from proximity made me throw up everything.

        I know we get called sensitive snowflakes but having that level of outright hate shoved in your face can easily make anyone feel very small and very vulnerable and at some level it’s visceral.

          • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It’s harder to feel like a capable badass when you’ve borrowed a friend’s hat to cover your rainbow colored hair and are ralphing korean food into a strip mall garbage can.

            At some level we as a demographic are sensitive, I can’t really control the way I feel about my body and my place in society. Being out does mean exposing that vulnerability where other people can see. Sensitivity isn’t cowardice but it does mean having to realize where your limits are and how you work. A lot of us learn to put on a tough as nails affect over time so we can get through a regular ass day. Realistically I know I am not a coward any more than I am Superman. I am just doing my best

        • SkyeStarfall
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          1 year ago

          Not only that, but then have the hate be called “reasonable debate”

          As if we aren’t actual real people that just want to exist in the world. It’s like you have to fight against the fucking river in making anyone even believe you that what they are seeing is hate, transphobia.

          We’re simply not treated like real people in these debates, and it’s frustrating and exhausting. If they faced the same treatment you would bet they would protest severely.

          But I guess that is also the case for cis women in the abortion debate. I guess the debate being about half of the population still isn’t enough for empathy.

          • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Pretty real stuff. A feels like lot of people just want to punch through us to hit somebody on the other side. I can’t say I like the way they frame things about parents rights either. It’s like they want to own their children like property not just be a major influence in their lives. The lack of empathy doesn’t even really extend to their own flesh and blood much less us.

            My hometown’s council is like a microcosm of the whole thing. A vocal group storms the trustee meetings to rail on and on about how we need to Protect children from gender ideology, they run over their alloted time so nobody can get any regular business done and the board turns their mic off so they can just function as a government. The “spurned Conservatives” then go to the local paper and tell everyone that their freedom of speech was unjustly curtailed because a hypocritical progressive turned their mic off. The paper prints the story uncritically and all of a sudden we’re a threat to freedom of speech and democracy… They then turn around and say “I’m not transphobic” as though they didn’t just paint us as bogeyman who are dangerous to be around women, kids, polling stations, government, pens and paper etc. etc. etc.

            Some days it’s just a lot.

    • enki@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      The teacher will make millions from the settlement, paid squarely out of the pocket of working Floridians. And despite that, half the state will continue voting for politicians and supporting police whose actions have no real consequences for them - the tax payers will foot the bill for their actions. Until we start hitting these people in their own pocket books and pensions, their behavior won’t change.

    • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      This may not be the slam dunk you think it is. To the best of my understanding, the current coverage under title vii for gender and sexuality has only been extended so far as “would this behaviour be unacceptable for the opposite sex?”

      Florida could argue (within the scope of existing supreme Court decisions) that the use of certain “new” titles are never acceptable, regardless of the person’s sex.

      As written, the rule is illegal, but it could possibly be upheld in the context of this specific case.

      • enki@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        They would have to argue that sex and gender are not the same thing in court, under oath. It’s been a longstanding argument for the GOP that they are the same. And if they argue biological sex and gender are not 1:1, then they’re acknowledging that a different gender identity than one’s birth sex is possible, and setting that precedent immediately takes the wind out of a lot of their arguments on transgender folk.

        • SheeEttin@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          They’ll be happy to say one thing in public and argue another in court. For example, when Fox News argued that a reasonable person is not expected to believe anything Tucker Carlson is saying.

    • Mossmouse@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Like “mix”. It’s fairly simple to most people who have common sense and aren’t actively trying to be offended over nothing.

        • SheeEttin@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          ”Good morning, I am Mx. Vary, your science teacher." That’s it, that’s all you need for the entire year.

          • Zron@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Do your classes take place entirely over text? They’re asking how you pronounce that in speech.

            Mr. Is short for “Mister” Mrs is short for mistress, but is usually pronounced “Misses”

            So how does one pronounce Mx.? Mix or Mixter? Mixes? And sometimes Xs are pronounced like Z, so is it just Mmmz?

            Asking how to pronounce someone’s preferred pronouns is entirely reasonable when their preferred pronoun is not a regular part of the English language. I’d rather know how to say something and not offend someone than say it wrong for who knows how long and definitely offend them.

      • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It’s not “fairly simple if you have common sense”. The known abbreviations have been in use for a hundred or more years and are widely known. Everyone knows how to pronounce them, the only curveball is Mrs being misses since it was originallymistress but that word later became associated with cheating and “ladies of the night”.

        Mx was made up recently, it stands for nothing AFAIK. They just took the standard M beginning and slapped X on it because X tends to mean “unknown”.

        It’s akin to asking you to address me as “Zf. Cat” because that’s what makes me feel comfortable.

          • TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id
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            1 year ago

            They weren’t introduced in anything like an analogous way. Mr and Mrs evolved slowly over decades and even centuries from older forms referring to master and mistress.

            I don’t have a strong opinion about Mx either way, but as an amateur linguistics nerd I can assure you that the way it’s been introduced to our lexicon is very different from these much older terms.

            • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Yep, language flows and changes over long periods of time, not through a court order or “marginalized” people screaming “we want our own pronoun that we just came up with to be culturally except! If you don’t comply, you are an insensitive asshole!”

            • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              Actually the floppy part of the disk is inside the plastic case. It’s a floppy piece of magnetic tape.

              But that’s a great example of how language evolves - people don’t even know what the name means, and yet they know what it is.

        • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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          Except it’s not like that at all, because you just made that honorific up!

          Mx. has an actual cultural context outside of their classroom. Sure, it’s new, but it’s not like this teacher just made it up themselves.

        • Mossmouse@lemmy.world
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          Ok, Zf. Cat :) If that makes you feel comfortable it costs me nothing to be considerate of your preference. See?

          • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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            Now you have to remember that for every interaction with me. If you happen to call me sometime else, I’ll grit my teeth and have to correct you or if I’m an asshole, I’ll berate you about it, constantly. You will also have to refer to me as Zf. Cat to everyone you know, regardless of whether or not they know me, or are in my presence.

            • Mossmouse@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              You should be asking yourself why you assume the person would react angrily instead of just politely correcting the pronunciation. If someone accidentally mispronounces my name I gently correct them, while smiling, and I have never once been offended or take it personally. You also assume it is a heavy burden on others to simply call people what they’d like to be called. When it is not. Being angry over this is not a healthy attitude. It’s simple manners to be considerate of others and that is precisely what the person is asking for, nothing more.

              • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                If you have to correct someone about your name/title every single time it gets pretty damn annoying. I met a girl years ago whose name was spelled Remy but pronounced Ray-me she said “I hate my parents for it” (I doubt she actually hated her parents, but hated the fact that they gave her a “bad” name).

      • Bipta@kbin.social
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        You’re the divisive one here, suggesting people are hateful for having legitimate questions.

        It’s so simple, just like Mr. Is pronounced merr.

        You’re very much part of the problem.

        • Mossmouse@lemmy.world
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          I don’t remember writing that anyone was hateful. Actively trying to be offended, yes. Legitimate questions ask questions like this “So how is Mx pronounced?”. The comment was I replied to intended to mock it, not ask in good faith. But see, you’d have to come to that conclusion by using common sense, so here we are again.

          • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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            One, it’s virtue signaling at its best.

            Secondly, randomly adding in the letter x to things is not ‘common sense’.

            Common sense is the ability to make practical judgments and behave in a sensible way. It’s the knowledge and experience that most people have, or should have.

            So my original point still stands. ‘Mx’ is not common sense. Knowing not to play a game of chicken with traffic, is common sense. Maybe this is why common sense isn’t so common anymore, people just appropriate words/phrases to mean whatever they want, instead of what they mean.

            This is how we’ve ended up in a world where the word literally no longer means the word literally.

        • SheeEttin@lemmy.world
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          You’d think someone using the name CaptPretentious would be all in favor of things being made up by niche social circles.

        • Mossmouse@lemmy.world
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          Well see, common sense would have me ask “hm, how do I say that?” then google it, then when I see that it’s simply pronounced “mix” I’d say “oh, okay”. And then go on about my day… instead of ranting about how hard it is to figure out and how angry it should make everyone. But that’s just me.

          • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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            If it were me, I would probably figure out what the person I’m trying to argue arguing with was actually arguing about. Instead of getting up on a soapbox and pretending like I know what I’m arguing about. But that would take effort.

            But you keep using those canned responses you got ready to go.

              • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                My position has fuck all to do with the letters.

                But you really need it to be don’t you. Because your canned responses only work if that’s what I’m arguing about.

      • AlataOrange@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I agree that Mc is made up bullshit

        Boy do I have bad news for you about every other word that exists in every single language. There is no word tree we harvest fresh ripe new words from, everything is made up. We are just meat squirting air through our various holes because we like the sounds they make and wish to communicate thought.

      • SkyeStarfall
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        1 year ago

        Boo, get new material.

        Seriously, sexually identifying as an Apache helicopter? Go back to edgy 2012.

    • WoefKat@lemmy.ml
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      Here in Spain you see X or @ a lot.

      Like senorxs or señor@s. Where the X or @ means ‘o’ or ‘e’ (male) or ‘a’ (female). I like the way they do this.

      This has some issues as it doesn’t include non-binary options. I think it’s also more of a protest against the patriarchal nature of the Spanish language which always defaults to the male version in the case where the gender is unknown or a mix.

      How is pronounced I don’t really know. People don’t really speak it in practice. It’s more used written.

      • Orbituary@lemmy.world
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        Spanish is my first language. Spanish defaults to masculine of words, but so do all Latin based languages. Here in the states we see Latinx. In Mexico and South America, “latine” is becoming prevalent.

        Linguistically speaking, it’s absurd. Polls in the USA, where Latinx was invented by uncomfortable, uninformed white people to try and be inclusive, show that 93% of the latino / hispanic population either disapprove of or don’t care about it.

        Edit: putting this up higher for visibility.

        https://www.pewresearch.org/hispanic/2020/08/11/about-one-in-four-u-s-hispanics-have-heard-of-latinx-but-just-3-use-it/

        https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2020/08/11/901398248/hispanic-latino-or-latinx-survey-says

        https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/05/us/latinx-gallup-poll-preference-trnd/index.html

          • SheeEttin@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Hot take: gendered language doesn’t serve any meaningful purpose and we should just get rid of it. There is no need for inanimate non-gendered objects to have a linguistic gender.

            • TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id
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              Or, you know, you could just get over it and realize that gender in language is not the same thing as gender in people. There’s one African language, for example, that has 16 different genders.

              Also, you are mistaken that linguistic gender doesn’t serve a purpose. It does and there’s a pretty extensive body of linguistic literature on the subject.

              Fun fact; as with most of the other Germanic languages, English originally had three genders; masculine, feminine and neuter. They got stripped out of the language for reasons having to do with English history that are too technical to go into right now.

              • LrdThndr@lemmy.world
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                Can you link a layman’s explanation of the value of grammatical gender regarding inanimate objects? After years of learning and being frustrated by French, I had come to the conclusion that grammatical gender was stupid and served no purpose, but I’d love to have a better understanding of its value.

                Again, this isn’t coming from a position of “prove me wrong, buttfart”. This is coming from “I’d like to learn more and have a better understanding of something I’m probably just not getting.”

              • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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                And German still has those genders, and as you rightly said, they have nothing to do with gender identity.

                The only issue here is gendered pronouns and other forms of address that rely on the gender of the person being discussed. Nobody cares whether a table is masculine or feminine, but they do care whether your parent’s sibling is a male or female because in many languages, there’s no word to eliminate that information. That’s the issue here, and the solution isn’t to rewrite the entire concept of gender in languages, but instead to introduce and popularize genderless pronouns and titles. I know I hate saying “how many uncles and aunts do you have,” especially since I know that doesn’t necessarily cover all of the person’s parents’ siblings. Give me words like “cousin” so I don’t need to separate people by gender in casual conversation unless it’s actually relevant.

  • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    How about we come up with a better term rather than use a stupid one that someone has to tell you how to pronounce.

    • BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world
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      To be fair Mrs. (And to a lesser extent Mr.) Don’t have an obvious pronunciation from the spelling either. You’ve just been hearing them said out loud for most of your life.

      • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
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        Fair, but they are also shorthand for words: Mister, Miss, Missus. All of which are pronounced as you’d expect.

        Is Mx short for something? I’ve not heard so but that doesn’t mean it isn’t.

      • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
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        I’m not saying it’s difficult to teach or learn, but if you first encounter it in a book are you going to know it’s pronounced “mix?” And if you hear is are you going to know it’s spelled “Mx?” You can argue difficulty all you want but if you have something that is spelled how it sounds and pronounced how it looks it’s still easier and there will be less confusion.

        • hperrin@lemmy.world
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          I mean if you see “Mx” and you don’t assume it’s pronounced “mix”, you might have some elementary language difficulties. I understand not being sure, but it is pronounced how it’s spelled.

      • Nora@lemmy.ml
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        Anyone with an S lettered last name is gunna sound like Mc S

        I just tried it with my last name lol.

        Mc Steele, makes me feel like a McDonald’s meal item.

    • AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works
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      My brother did Florida Virtual School and graduated in 2011 or so. It was actually pretty great, and what they should have switched all the students to during COVID. It’s exactly what it sounds like, online coursework, just like if you’ve ever taken a college class online, but its a public high school option meaning its free. Some stuff doesn’t work quite as well, the lab kit they sent my brother to use wasn’t quite as good as my in person lab classes. Florida actually invested the time and money to make it good because a lot of child actors and some of the kids training at sports schools use it.

      Edit: to clarify, “public” in the US means state government funded, I’m aware that some places mean the opposite when they talk about public/private schools.

    • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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      It’s a public school that’s attended primarily online.

      When I was enrolled in one, they had us do 99% of our work at home, and we could do the work at our own pace, but we had to come in to the building to take the more important tests to move to the next semester-equivalent. That was to make sure that we weren’t cheating like we were fully able to do for the regular tests, because this was before spyware was the norm.

      It was great for anyone who could stay motivated to do school work and would go out of their way to interact with other students, and it was the worst possible method of schooling for my lazy, unsociable ass. I’d likely not have graduated if my high school hadn’t started giving what basically amounted to a GED test for seniors who couldn’t pass their classes in time. I knew the stuff, I just refused to actually do the stuff. Highly recommend for extraverts. Cannot recommend for introverts.

  • sugarfree@lemmy.world
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    You don’t need to have kids call you weird names, it’s really not necessary. Just be normal.

    • Neato@kbin.social
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      Just be normal.

      People are normal no matter what honorific or pronouns they prefer. Bigots on the other hand can suck it.

    • hperrin@lemmy.world
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      “Just be normal” is the first step toward “just be straight” then “just be white” then “just be Christian” then “just be our version of Christian”. Why can’t people just be who they are? Like, literally no one is hurting anyone in this scenario, yet your absolute paper thin fragile porcelain toilet of an ego is hurt because the teacher isn’t exactly how you picture the ideal person your children think the world is filled with.