• @jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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      219 months ago

      I have a good relationship with my dad now but that wasn’t always the case. It’s too long a story for this comment but I’ve confronted him a few times over the years about various things. On one such occasion, he said something to the effect of, “Why don’t my kids ever want anything to do with me?”

      I said, " I love you Dad, but you’re an angry dick about everything and you always have been. Would you want to spend time with your dad if he was like that?" His dad was exactly like that. He didn’t say anything but I knew I struck a nerve. He’s worked on himself a lot and is a much, much better grandpa than he was a father.

      I don’t know your situation and you can’t change your family members behavior. That’s on them. But sometimes it’s ok to let them know what their behavior is doing to everyone else around them. They may not understand that. And if they do and just don’t care, then they’ll have to deal with the consequences.

      • @Triple_B@lemmy.zip
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        79 months ago

        That’s great advice, thank you. I’ll have to relay it to my sister since she’s the one actually dealing with it since I moved out of state like 20 years ago and rarely go home. Maybe we’ll have to gang up on him/have an intervention. It’s just hard to catch his ass sober.

  • @glimse@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I could tell them I get wasted every Friday and no one would bat an eye…but my mom would have a heart attack if she found out I’ve ever been in the same room with marijuana. I’m in my 30s. Some things are better left as secrets

  • @SaberKazd@sopuli.xyz
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    229 months ago

    I tried to kill myself. Twice. I would either have to deal with my old man’s shit or break my mom’s heart, neither of which I could tolerate.

  • Skybreaker
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    209 months ago

    I don’t want to be around you.

    I wouldn’t tell my loved one that because I DO want to be around her.

  • @shandrakor@lemmy.world
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    179 months ago

    One specific family member, hope that’s okay. But I could never tell my mom about when I was molested on a work trip with her ex-partners company. One of the families took in troubled boys and I woke up in the cabin with him in my bed. Hands in my clothes and drunk as hell. I beat him so bad. One of the other actual children of employees woke up and helped pull me off him and got him out of there. We never talked about it. I don’t know what he(the helper) knew at the time. What I do know is if I ever tell my mother this she will drive and she will one hundred percent kill the people who brought that monster into my life. And I love her too much to put her through that (both having to hear it, and the murder, and the subsequent jail time).

      • @shandrakor@lemmy.world
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        89 months ago

        It was, but I am actually doing really well now, generally. Stable and supportive partner. Love and joy on the daily!

        Have some health issues but I feel like who doesn’t these days? It does make having friends a struggle but I have a lot of… acquaintances and small relationships can be fulfilling, in their own way.

        Generally great relationships with my family, minus several humans who have been downgraded to biological associates.

        On the whole pretty excellent and like to think I’m doing as well for those around me as I can despite my limitations.

        Sorry, unsuspecting victims, for the wall of text, the word vomit needed out, I suppose.

  • plz1
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    169 months ago

    I’ll likely retire before my parents, aunts and uncles. I won’t tell them, I"ll just stop working and if they ask, I will say I’m an investment manager. Boomers and Gen X were shit with their finances, I guess.

  • @violetraven
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    119 months ago

    My girlfriend wants to marry me and it’s breaking my heart.

      • @violetraven
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        119 months ago

        Because I’m already married in a poly relationship.

          • @violetraven
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            99 months ago

            No, she does. She’s just going through a hard relationship moment on her end at this time.

            • @shandrakor@lemmy.world
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              59 months ago

              Okay, so my partner is just recently divorced from his years-estranged wife. He does not know if he wants to get married again, but I do. In loving him and being loved by him I found the reason people would want to tie their lives so fully with another’s. You are theirs and they are yours.

              This bothered me for a long time, and I promise I’m coming to something (that I think might be) relevant to your situation.

              I read a book… where the crawdads sing? I’m pretty sure. Anyhow a line in the book rang true with me, “we are married like wolves and geese are married” and I love that so much.

              So, while you cannot marry her in a legal sense, you can be romantic as fuck.

              Also! Just thought of this while typing. Do a commitment ceremony, nothing legal obviously but maybe do a cool cultural marriage ceremony like jumping over a broom around a fire or any of the myriad other marriage ceremonies other cultures use.

              Anyhow I’m sorry she’s having a hard time and I wish you and yours (and theirs (= ) all the very best. I can imagine a poly relationship could be difficult at times but it sounds like you’re doing all the right things.

              Stay awesome!

            • @captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              39 months ago

              Oh that sucks. Good luck to all y’all. Few states are worse to find yourself in than one where what’s normally exactly right for you is only almost when you’re stressed

  • Rhynoplaz
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    9 months ago

    Any one of you could die today and I may not even find out, and most likely won’t care.

    I should clarify that I can’t tell my loved ones this because it’s not true. No offense, but I don’t know you and don’t expect you to feel any different about me.