• protist@mander.xyz
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    1 year ago

    You hear: Employed, has home, married, has kids

    You think: Cookie cutter suburban stability, literal waking nightmare?

    • Custoslibera@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You can’t walk away from those things easily.

      I see them as suffocating and a compromise to my own self.

      Of course I accept that others see it differently but your response is exactly why this is a denigrated view.

      If you go against the grain of our society (I.e. you aren’t a heterosexual couple with children, a house, job and family pet) you are weird or unsuitable for raising children.

      FYI the person above me edited their original comment where they said I shouldn’t have children (for the children’s sake - won’t somebody think of the children!!!).

      It’s important context because I would say it is the prevailing view of our society (that social deviants should not have children) but they said the silent part out loud and realised.

      • protist@mander.xyz
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        1 year ago

        I did edit out that part, almost immediately, because I realized it came off mean and that wasn’t my intention. I do still very much think if you “have no reason to live” you should not have children.

        For someone who’s so concerned about feeling like your perspective is denigrated, I wonder why you think denigrating the perspective of people who have kids, etc is alright? I mean, what did you expect in response when you insult people, calling their lives “cookie cutter suburban stability” when you don’t know anything about them? You don’t need to be some white cishet christian man to have a family and a job, to think you’re not insulting diverse people with the way you approached this is ignorant on your part

      • averagedrunk@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        You know, I know how you feel. You may change, you may not. I used to feel the exact same way, but I did change some (not 100%). I’m pretty happy.

        On the other hand my very good friend is well into his 40s, hasn’t changed, and he’s like this weird (in the best way) technical nomad who walks away from almost everything every so often.

        So do you. That dream is for a whole lot of folks, but not everyone. I see you. Do what makes you happy.

      • SkyeStarfall
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        1 year ago

        Why is not wanting to have a traditional marriage, not wanting kids, not wanting a suburban home, and possibly not wanting to celebrate Christmas edgy?

        Because I don’t really want these things either, and it’s not because I’m “edgy”, but because everyone really isn’t the same or want the same things out of life. Even if society tried to push these things on everyone. When I tried to fit into what society deemed is the proper way to live, I was miserable, because society doesn’t account very much for differences. It’s much nicer when I just focus on what I actually want.

        Also there’s that whole subtle implication of you having failed in life if you don’t have these things.