In one of the bathrooms at my workplace, the light timer used to be far too short. It reacted to sound, but not very well, so whenever it switched off, you’d hear me clapping my hands like a dumbass.
Then one day, I had a co-sitting with another guy. And of course, the light went out on us. I was already thinking, great, now I’ll get to applaud that guy shitting.
But instead, the guy lifted his leg, stomped a single time and the light went back on. That was the day I learnt that I’m a rookie at pooping.
You merely adopted the dark. He pooped in it, molded by it.
Best toilet story I’ve heard so far…
Does that make it the shittiest, or the least shitty?
deleted by creator
The real question is when the next guy walks in and the lights turn back on, do you say “thanks” or is that weird?
You start shitting as loud as you can to announce your presence
deleted by creator
I am the shit Ninja.
Calm down Mr Lahey, let’s go have a couple drinks.
“Is it safe?”
Just say “Boohoo!” It’s an icebreaker.
I once ran a computer training course in a room with motion activated lights. Every time I set the trainees an exercise the lights went off. I told them that when it need happened I wanted them all to raise their arms and wave because “many hands make light work”
It amused me, anyway.
The lights where I work are far too short. You’ll be sitting there enjoying a poop when they turn off. And now here’s where the fun begins.
If you say screw it and keep pooping in the dark and someone walks in? Well they don’t expect anyone to be in there…except you are…so now you’re a deviant dark pooper.
So you have to get the lights back on.
Except the lights are triggered by sensor and it sits on the other side of the cubicle door, and the only way to trigger it is by standing up and waving your hand over the door. You can imagine what the result of that is.
Sounds like a shitty workplace culture.
Ha . . .
The smartphone is your lifeline. It has a built in flash light.
point the screen at the motion detector and wave your arm. the light comes back on.
That’s when I know I need to grab the wall while standing up as my legs are going to have gone completely numb
deleted by creator
They are heat/infrared based. Try pissing out the stall door.
Just leave a hot log on the bathroom floor before entering the stall.
Why even use the stall?
deleted by creator
You need more fiber in your diet. Also don’t try to push it out it’s not good for you.
Spoken like a young person.
I used to be you…
Then what happened? Old people have to remove fiber from their diet? I vow to keep having great shits until the day I die. All hail fiber
Good luck! I mean that sincerely!
Human bodies are literally designed to wear out and stop working. Doing things like eating fiber to help maintain your bowels is great Just don’t act like it’s a magic bullet to stop the aging process :)
Yeah I got a hemorrhoid, probably from a terrible diet with no fiber AND taking long poop breaks AND pushing too much. Not fun 😅
deleted by creator
I’m literally on the can and I see this. totally happened to me before! I was just out of the line of sight of the damned occupancy sensor 😅
The most interaction I’ve had with a thread on Lemmy and it’s about poop while I sit in the colorectal Dr waiting room.
At previous workplace I changed the timer on the sensor.
It actually takes me longer to pee than to take a shit. I can be in and out of the bathroom in about 20 seconds. I’ve trained myself due to gaming to be in and out in record time.
