Sounds like you don’t have friends and you expect your partner to be your only source of emotional support. You should fix that before you try to be in a romantic relationship.
Cute. I’m not the one who needs to date someone to be happy.
I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.
As long as she’s a legal adult within 15 or so years of you, she can’t be too young IMO. If she likes you, that’s her choice. Unless the workplace aspect bothers you, what’s the harm?
I dunno, I’m 28. I’d date someone who’s 43. Just tossing in my 2 cents.
I dated women in their 40s while I was early 20s, we got some funny looks occasionally but generally no-one gave a shit. What two consenting adults do is their own business. Though now I’m in my early 40s, I don’t think I’d have a lot in common with someone at 21; and maintain that just because it’s ‘legal’ doesn’t mean it’s ethical, someone at 18 just does not have the life experience nor fully-formed pre frontal cortex to deal with someone who’s fully-adult. Ripe for abuse imo.
Yeah, I completely agree that someone who is 18-20 just doesn’t have the life experience to know a lot about relationships in general.
My wife dated a guy who was in his mid-40s when she was 18 and, with hindsight, it seems like her inexperience with life, intimacy, and relationships was actually something he was looking for (gross).
I guess I assumed that the person OP likes is at least in their mid-20s. I mostly added the legal adult part to cover my ass in case a snarky commenter was like, “oh what if she’s 16?” trying to be smart.
I wonder if the downvotes are from people who think you sound incel-y. I mean, you do a little bit, but I think a lot of people nowadays identify with that “there’s no point dating” feeling, though are too nervous to voice it. All but the most narcisissistic of us have a little voice in the back of our minds giving ‘sage’ advice about how worthless we are from time to time, and if you’ve dealt with a lot of rejection that only gets reinforced.
If you do try stuff like tinder, be well advised that it’s a very long shot. You might be better off with a paid service like match.com… my dad found love after his divorce pretty quickly when he joined that site, I assume because anyone who’s paying to be on a dating site is more invested in finding that someone special vs apps like tinder which incentivise short-term approach to dating.
I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.
Hate to break it to you, but you framing this as in inherent part of yourself does not really help in dealing with it. It is something you can absolutely work on and for the sake of your mental health I hope you will be able to do that.
Alas though I’m sure she likes me I know I’m too old for her so here I am just unusually unhappy in my solitude for the first time in years.
Just ask her if she knows of any single women your age she can set you up with. If she really likes you, she’ll tell them what a great person you are. Or maybe she can give you tips about where to meet someone, how to ask someone out, etc.
Don’t despair for having a potentially good friendship, those can be just as valuable as physical relationships.
Because this isn’t someone who hates women. This is someone who simply gave up looking for a partner from frustration or depression. Now, they are deciding to change and passively asking for advice. You know, positive personal growth.
I agree with others, man. What’s the age difference? Because I understand someone being too young (I’m 28 and I’m not sure I could date someone under 24 for example). Just very curious! You never know
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How “too old” are we talking here
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Yeah dating someone too young is one thing, but being a Reddit mod is a different thing altogether.
/s before the downvotes.
Lol
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Sounds like you don’t have friends and you expect your partner to be your only source of emotional support. You should fix that before you try to be in a romantic relationship.
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Cute. I’m not the one who needs to date someone to be happy.
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Idk if dating is inherently bad, but the soulcrushing drive for profit that has consumed modern dating has defintely made it horrible.
As long as she’s a legal adult within 15 or so years of you, she can’t be too young IMO. If she likes you, that’s her choice. Unless the workplace aspect bothers you, what’s the harm?
I dunno, I’m 28. I’d date someone who’s 43. Just tossing in my 2 cents.
I dated women in their 40s while I was early 20s, we got some funny looks occasionally but generally no-one gave a shit. What two consenting adults do is their own business. Though now I’m in my early 40s, I don’t think I’d have a lot in common with someone at 21; and maintain that just because it’s ‘legal’ doesn’t mean it’s ethical, someone at 18 just does not have the life experience nor fully-formed pre frontal cortex to deal with someone who’s fully-adult. Ripe for abuse imo.
Yeah, I completely agree that someone who is 18-20 just doesn’t have the life experience to know a lot about relationships in general.
My wife dated a guy who was in his mid-40s when she was 18 and, with hindsight, it seems like her inexperience with life, intimacy, and relationships was actually something he was looking for (gross).
I guess I assumed that the person OP likes is at least in their mid-20s. I mostly added the legal adult part to cover my ass in case a snarky commenter was like, “oh what if she’s 16?” trying to be smart.
I wonder if the downvotes are from people who think you sound incel-y. I mean, you do a little bit, but I think a lot of people nowadays identify with that “there’s no point dating” feeling, though are too nervous to voice it. All but the most narcisissistic of us have a little voice in the back of our minds giving ‘sage’ advice about how worthless we are from time to time, and if you’ve dealt with a lot of rejection that only gets reinforced.
If you do try stuff like tinder, be well advised that it’s a very long shot. You might be better off with a paid service like match.com… my dad found love after his divorce pretty quickly when he joined that site, I assume because anyone who’s paying to be on a dating site is more invested in finding that someone special vs apps like tinder which incentivise short-term approach to dating.
Hate to break it to you, but you framing this as in inherent part of yourself does not really help in dealing with it. It is something you can absolutely work on and for the sake of your mental health I hope you will be able to do that.
Just ask her if she knows of any single women your age she can set you up with. If she really likes you, she’ll tell them what a great person you are. Or maybe she can give you tips about where to meet someone, how to ask someone out, etc.
Don’t despair for having a potentially good friendship, those can be just as valuable as physical relationships.
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Because this isn’t someone who hates women. This is someone who simply gave up looking for a partner from frustration or depression. Now, they are deciding to change and passively asking for advice. You know, positive personal growth.
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I agree with others, man. What’s the age difference? Because I understand someone being too young (I’m 28 and I’m not sure I could date someone under 24 for example). Just very curious! You never know