We really aren’t. The difference is, the most successful of us are. And those are the ones you typically seem to meet overseas. Because the less successful of us can’t afford the trip.

Immersion therapy man. Go find a board game meetup, exercise meetup or sports meetup or something that puts you in a situation where you’re gonna be able to have casual conversations.

Loads of people just like you with social anxiety and who are introverted though in the US, and honestly any nation in the Americas… and probably the world.

Different parts of the USA have different expectations for small talk, but it is generally higher than I’ve seen for parts of Europe.

That said, being outgoing is a muscle for some people and, because of cultural differences, Americans tend to work out this muscle more than other countries.

A complete lack of self-awareness seems to help with appearing confident.

1. there are plenty of shy or anxious people in the US too!
2. as you say, being outgoing is a skill. 21 is an awkward and transitional age where you’re still finding out things about yourself. As you get more comfortable it can get easier to talk to other people too.

(Am an introverted American 🫠)

Just keep in mind, you may have this perception because the Americans you see are happy and on vacation lol. They’re traveling to another country, which selects for confidence and curiosity.

You can always try to memorize some key phrases, like:

“did you see that ludicrous display last night?”

https://youtu.be/gWJIQm9qH-w

“Americans” is a stupidly large and diverse population to say anything meaningful about. It’s extremely unlikely that that any population of humans of such a size doesn’t include some individuals who are more extreme than you, both more and less, for almost all traits.

You’re less likely to observe introverts than extroverts because one of those types will tend to do things in a way that are less likely to get your attention. You might well be experiencing observation/selection bias, possibly also reinforced by confirmation bias.

But whatever you think to be the “typical”, even if you could estimate it using some unbiased sampling method, it is often not a helpful way describe the whole population, or at best a reductive “average” that has limited useful applications.

TLDR - human populations are diverse. I don’t think any nation has ever effectively brainwashed or eugenicised their population into a single homogeneous group.

Look, someone has misrepresented America, and Americans to you. You have to be in VERY specific places for the type of interactions that you are describing.

Very many places in America, nobody wants to talk to you, greet you, look at you, or have you smile in their direction.

What you are describing is “Small town vibe” where you in fact usually have to be a part of the small town before people will start treating you the way you have described.

People in America have social anxiety as well.

If your desire is to be good at interpersonal relations, then you need to practice exactly that. If your fellow Germans aren’t up to the task, then I suggest finding some alternative to Omegle (since I think that got shut down?) and try to small talk with strangers over a webcam if you can.

I really think it’s a cultural thing. It would be like me(an American) saying “how can I be more Japanese?”

To put a finer point on it, Americans have grown up in a culture where self expression and social interaction is encouraged. So we are less afraid of approaching a stranger for casual conversation. Add to that the fact that we, culturally, have very low self awareness. All we know is what offends other Americans. We rarely have the social intelligence to modify our behavior to match our surroundings.

So while, yes, Germans may be more reserved by nature; don’t think that is a value judgement. If you want to be more outgoing do it in a German way. Americans are the way we are because we are Americans.

That said, if I could offer a suggestion to mitigate your social anxiety; I would suggest that other people don’t think about you and your behavior anywhere near as much as you think they do. Most people don’t give a shit. If you can’t think of anything to say but you want to start a conversation a compliment is always a winning strategy. But nothing is a substitute for genuine curiosity.

I’m an American, was born here and lived here all my life, and lemme tell ya I am a goddamned introvert as all hell. Lol.

My mentality that has helped (before I worked in retail and dealt with hundreds if not thousands of people a day) was realizing that they will probably think about me just as much as I think about them in a few hours. Which is not at all.

There is a little nihilism of “nothing in this conversation matter” mixed with I learned I kind of like people. The vast majority of people are nice.

As an American, this is the simplest way I can say this.

Ignorance is bliss.

The less you know, the happier you are.

The happier you are, the more outgoing you become.

It’s a double edged sword.

We’re also stupid beyond belief. Have you considered removing your sense of shame and any semblance of introspection?

But on a more pragmatic note, I think a lot of comfort in (anything, but especially in) social situations requires putting in the repetitions and trying to model certain people or traits. Who do you aspire to resemble? I’ve always appreciated media with fast-paced, witty dialog. Sitcoms from the 90s (for example, Seinfeld or Friends, to name a couple); movies by, for example, Kevin Smith or Guy Ritchie, and just becoming more comfortable with the language. Read more, watch more, expand your vocabulary, learn and master figures of speech. Then find people to hang out with and practice. Go for coffee, or a walk, or a beer, and be candid with your companions about your desires to speak captivatingly and confidently.