• madjo@feddit.nl
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    14 days ago

    Well when men keep hearing “don’t approach us”, we shouldn’t be shocked when men don’t approach people.

      • surph_ninja@lemmy.world
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        14 days ago

        Just be funny and not a piece of shit. My wife is so gorgeous, people immediately know I have a good sense of humor and I’m supportive. I’m certainly not rich.

        Granted, this is not a good approach for the apps. You need to be able to sell yourself in person. Best dating strategy in this case is making many friends, and some of them will be charmed into attraction. If I were dating, speed dating would probably be workable for this approach.

      • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago
        • Step 1. Be courteous
        • Step 2. Interact with people in general
        • Step 3. Ask our the people you’re genuinely interested in, and feel you have some kind of connection with, respectfully, knowing rejection is okay

        Repeat until you get a date.

        Being attractive helps a lot. Obviously. But you can put effort into your appearance. More than anything your personality is the thing that will get you a date.

        Having tried Tinder 12 years ago, once, around the time I became an adult, why you’d choose it over asking people out in real life is beyond me. Especially if you’re not very attractive.

        The meta is all off haha

      • Fat Tony@lemmy.world
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        13 days ago

        If there is one thing the internet has overwhelmingly seceded at it’s convincing people that looks are absolutely everything. A lot of people I know tend to take their dating app experience as solid evidence of their romantic inaptitude. Even when it’s all too well known they are scams designed to keep you on their platform for as long as possible.

        I know that preaching about stepping up to women may feel like the same way as saying: “Just be attractive, bro.” And if it does, to that I say: Do it and practise it for the sake of it. “That looks like a nice person, let’s find out what they’re about, for no damn reason at all.”

        Anyway, my two cents. And if it helps whenever you’re scared of striking up a conversation just keep in mind: “The alternative is dating apps.”

    • Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works
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      14 days ago

      Cry me a river. I’ve never heard a women say “don’t approach me”, but I’ve heard many say “don’t be a douche” and “stop thinking you’re a fucking victim”.

        • trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world
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          14 days ago

          The fact that yall are still this mad about this just proves that the entire point behind the thought experiment is right.

          • newfie@lemmy.ml
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            13 days ago

            The bear metaphor was obviously thinly veiled racism/xenophobia from the start. Lots of conservative/moderate women who are terrified of anyone who isn’t white or who is “illegal”

              • newfie@lemmy.ml
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                13 days ago

                The goal was to increase fear of the “other” - which is a classic right wing tactic.

                The bear meme was a conservative astroturfed campaign to push people right - which is why it appeared shortly before the 2024 US elections

            • ExtantHuman@lemm.ee
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              13 days ago

              That’s…just no. Wtf? No.

              Source: I’ve actually listened to women, in person, describe their reasoning, instead of making up my own justification for something like the incel community decided to do.

              • newfie@lemmy.ml
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                13 days ago

                The goal was to increase fear of the “other” - which is a classic right wing tactic.

                The bear meme was a conservative astroturfed campaign to push people right - which is why it appeared shortly before the 2024 US elections

                  • newfie@lemmy.ml
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                    12 days ago

                    No it isn’t, it’s literally what astroturfing is and how public relations campaigns are run. I know people who literally do shit like this for a living

                    Doesn’t mean the original meme was created by an agency necessarily, but it certainly was boosted and amplified by conservatives to spark anger against PoCs/immigrants, and to build intergender resentment amongst men. Which worked wonderfully for Trump, as is evidenced by his strong performance with Gen Z men

        • Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works
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          13 days ago

          IDK women are not scared of me. Maybe the problem is you? Maybe you’re not the victim you think you are and you’re just an ass?

        • ExtantHuman@lemm.ee
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          13 days ago

          Apparently you already forgot their reasoning behind it. A bear is a known quantity. Humans can lie to gain your trust, then turn on you. They weren’t saying all men are bad, they were saying that meeting a stand man alone in the woods - you have no idea how this person will act.

    • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
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      13 days ago

      At the same time, lots of men are really shitty when they “approach” women.

      “Don’t approach us” is a response to men’s behaviour, not the other way around.