In the end this ramble will be pretty meaningless until I actually manage to have any actual relationship, cuz its kinda dumb to talk about it never being in one (well technically there was one week long disaster, but that’s not a story for today). Ive got disorders and am well aware of my perception of reality being distorted, which doesn’t mean I actually can recognize these distortions. For some reason, whether those distortions or experience, I consider gay peoples very cool and interesting and it would kinda feel nice to be one of those? I think? Idk, am histrionic, Ive had a history of jokingly flirting with all irl friends regardless of gender, but I did it more for the sport of it than to make it into something serious (don’t do it anymore, realized it was too easy for me to overstep boundaries). Sometimes I get a like on a dating app from a man I would consider really fucking good lookin’, but like, why do they send me a like to never ever respond? I hate dating apps. So yeah, I just wanted to ramble a bit, please yell at me if you mind
Dating apps are demoralizing for most people. Never take them personally.
When my son approached me with a similar ramble I told him to not worry about the label. Sometimes it’s encouraging to find a label we fit and it makes us feel more like part of a group rather than alone. That is valuable but any label is also constraining. If you don’t fit a label, it’s the label that is limiting, not you. You should do what works best for you, regardless whether it fits any specific label. And that includes not doing it if that is best for you at this time