my ex-boyfriend sam (19m) of a few years has been my longest relationship (as i’m still young). he ghosted me and i started to lose feelings for him. however, i still had hope.

he also “forgot” about me when he would give gifts to other people, wouldn’t mention me under “people he appreciates” but would mention everyone else, and wouldn’t even tell people abt me.

due to all this, i started to question actually being a lesbian who was only into guys because of comphet.

however, last night, when he finally saw my messages (he doesn’t use social media a lot), he apologized and said he should’ve done something other than ghost his gf. he agreed that we should break up, and said he was being this way due to mental health problems, and that if we got back together, he’d be a better bf.

he explained he still had feelings for me and would love to still be friends.

that’s when i realized that i had genuine feelings for him that were still there, not just comphet. i always loved him and felt sad when it seemed he didn’t love me the same way.

i understand he’s not ready for a relationship rn, and i think he should take his time. i also am not quite ready due to this being so recent and the fact that we haven’t done actual couple stuff in a while.

but after a while, when he gets better, hopefully we’ll still have feelings and both be good partners (better than we were then). after all, even if the not including me thing isn’t an excuse, the ghosting was due to poor mental health which he can’t control.

so i guess i’d also be biromantic with a preference for women.

i hope we can make this work >w<

  • forrgott@lemm.ee
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    22 hours ago

    You should search for info on “love bombing”. This sounds suspiciously similar. Basically, it’s about emotional manipulation to get you to willingly look past red flags and other problems.

    • The Octonaut@mander.xyz
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      19 hours ago

      I’m not sure this even counts because the guy basically said let’s be friends and she has leapt to thinking about getting back together. This just sounds like someone with issues of their own, if dating someone who is obviously unthinking but falls well within the predicted bounds of normal behaviour for a teenager makes them think they might be a lesbian.

      • drbollocksOP
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        11 hours ago

        ah, he said “let’s be friends” but he wanted to get back together in the future and i was willing to do that, but obviously not now.