Have an aunt who has only ever lived with women. I was always told it was her roommate. Everyone refers to her as a roommate. They BOUGHT THE HOUSE TOGETHER. Have dogs together. Raise the other ones kids together.
When I was like 17, and openly gay, I straight up asked my grandmother if her sister was a lesbian. She said no they’re just roommates and got super specific about it. I asked my aunt a couple weeks later when I saw her and she went “Well, yeah. Do I not wear enough flannel?”
My grandmother had a good friend, who was widowed young. Her brother in law remarried her, as I’m told was slightly old-fashioned, but not unheard of at the time. He then died in WWI, and the other brother was a priest. He got special dispensation to support her financially, and they lived together with two bedrooms they after his retirement. In their eighties, they moved into one room, with two twin beds and two attached dressing rooms, ostensibly for safety reasons, but we never knew if they were in love.
I’m going to assume your grandmother was a catch.
Send pics plz.
My grandmother was very much a catch, but there’s no way I have a picture of her friend, who married a whole family. I don’t even know her first name, because despite a 50+ year friendship, they met as adults and called each other Mrs. Lastname.
I do think this woman must have been an incredible cook or something. Her companion was by all accounts a very dedicated priest otherwise, but that’s the only story I’ve ever heard where a priest gets any quasi romantic leeway (obviously, the church was far too lenient with sexual abuses, but the real reason for the vow of chastity has always been to avoid splitting loyalties and to control expenses, so a 60+ year financial and emotional commitment to a woman approximates that much more closely than the abuse).
Do I not wear enough flannel?
🤣
To be fair, me and my best friend originally bought this house together.
He’s gay, I’m not.
Special circumstances though; my dad owned it, and fucked up, so we bought it to both help him and keep the house in the family.
And, we shared a single room for half the time he lived here because it was the family home, and my mom and sister still lived here.
We also shared rooms when we lived elsewhere, because single rooms were cheaper to rent, and in one case we preferred using the second room for a combo mini library/storage space.
A lot of people thought we were a couple. And, I guess, it could be argued that we were if you stretch the meaning far enough.
Fwiw, being best friends and living together isn’t that far off from dating. It’s so fun to live with your best friend too, like all the sleepovers, campouts and hangouts combined :D (if you can’t tell, I miss living with some of my best buds in uni!)
Sounds like a fun living situation, even if it did have its normal ups and downs. Sometimes one bedroom can be kinda a bit much, haha.
You were just a couple that didn’t fuck or have romantic intentions with each other. Nothing wrong with having a really close friend like that.
But yeah … You sure you’re not just gay? /s
I’m honorary gay! I used to have a challenge coin that said so lol.
My brother isn’t gay…but I’m beginning to think his husband might be a tad light in the loafers.
(He’s the best part of our family)
Aint no way they dont know. They just lie to themselves and others because they think that being gay is something to be ashamed of. There is no way people are this oblivious for decades.
I’ve been impressively oblivious to things for quite long periods of time, so I wouldn’t put it past people.
As a species, we are terrifyingly good at just ignoring shit. Not even always knowingly, just as a subconscious act.
Those things are not mutually exclusive. When you lie to yourself, or just avoid looking too closely at something, you can effectively mislead yourself without actually knowing it. Then you do become that oblivious. This is called repression, and it’s how I ended up not recognizing my own gender identity for over thirty years.
They just lie to themselves
Yeah i didnt express it very well but thats what i meant. They just lie for so long, they start believing it themselves because acknowledging the truth would fuck up their world view.
That’s still missing some of the nuance. The way you’re phrasing it paints a picture of having known at some point and deliberately burying it. This can also happen, and is called suppression. But it’s also possible for this to happen without any conscious awareness from the beginning, which is repression. In that case, there’s no “starting” to believe it, because you never had anything else to believe to begin with.
It’s entirely possible they just haven’t really put much thought into the situation.
Confirmation bias can occur it layers.
It can be used to confirm one isn’t lying to oneself.
It can be used to confirm to oneself they aren’t capable of lying to themselves.
5.5 years into my marriage and my family has zero clue lol.
It’s happy you are maintaining all the relationships that are important to you without conflict, but sad your blood relatives are missing out on knowing they have a great in-law in your spouse. Not knowing any details I have no idea what is best, but hope you all stay happy to be family!
I like to think that there was a big party for the wedding (with all the wedding fixings), and the OPs family was there. The family is just so clueless that they didn’t put everything together.
If the cake didn’t have a couple on top it’s not a wedding cake right?
Mine had a mini bottle of whiskey. How fucked am I?
I imagine there’s was some good fucking then, so fucked well?
This is a good anecdote about misinformation as well - when someone believes that they have the answer, they often never reassess the situation, which can get to the point where the real answer is staring them right in the face, but they can’t see it because they’re not looking; why would they? They already know the answer! This is how lies can spread so easily even when easily debunked. Nobody bothers to listen to the debunking.
Same here! I even called my aunts wife auntie and didn’t make the connection. I was like, oh rent must be really expensive in Cali cause they only have 1 bed 💀
Rent is really expensive in Cali. 🤣
might as well share a bed with your best friend to save on rent
Oh, I do that. My best friend just happens to be my wife. It’s the three short free loaders that really make things expensive!
so you got married just for financial reasons right?
It certainly doesn’t hurt!
I met my wife in college and we were both jobless (and poor) college students. I got married because I wanted to share my life with her, but sharing an apartment and bed was a financially beneficial arrangement!
We’ve done well on the financial situation however, so no complaining there. We both graduated with engineering degrees, so that’s a pretty good start.
This is basically my aunt, although she hasn’t realized she’s a lesbian yet.
I have some neighbors who are in their later years, they are both AFAB. They fly a pride flag. After I got to know them better, L spoke up and said A is her husband. A says yeah I consider myself a man. I said so you’re trans then. She (yeah still goes by she/her) got a funny look on her face and said no of course not, I’m a lesbian.
Who the fuck are these dense people? It’s not 1928 anymore…
This
straightup🥰
Just a couple of gal pals
oh my god they were roommates
