• Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    One way to understand them better is to occasionally talk. Cuz like, guys and girls are actually incredibly similar. A couple of conversations a day, with the occasional really good conversation, can go a very long way towards understanding each other. Everything you don’t talk about is one more thing you won’t understand.

    • Who knew?@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      Its true. I wondered why I didn’t feel like girls were any different from me and why I had a hard time understanding both girls and boys, then I learned I was trans and autistic

      • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        I’m not hoping the person from 4 chan is also in here, just giving general advice for anyone reading it now.

        • baines@lemmy.cafe
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          3 days ago

          me as well, it’s not so uncommon, communication is key while true is such a trite idea and ignores all nuance of reality

  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I remember this post. Same opinion still. Not the best course of action, but I wonder if it was a last ditch effort for him to give a fuck, which he doesn’t seem to, and that broke her heart. Not that that means she did the right thing, but with all the comments patting anon on the back for dodging a bullet, I’ll give one to the lady for conforming that Anon doesn’t love her like she thinks/wants. Hopefully they’ll both find someone that makes them happy.

    • DSTGU@sopuli.xyz
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      3 days ago

      When being taught that no is supposed to mean no I dont believe there is any other appropriate reaction to being given the divorce papers

      • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Yeah, for sure. If you tell someone you want to call things off, you gotta be prepared for that “sure.” Definitely wasn’t her best move.

        Doesn’t mean I can’t have some empathy for her, even if I don’t agree. Humans do crazy, sometimes even terrible things, out of hurt and love. Us humans are pretty flawed. 😅

    • pflanzenregal@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Yeah I’d rather bet that he is kinda emotionally disconnected from anything happening with her (and himself).

      So she probably never feels supported, tried to talk about, didn’t work, finally divorced him but loves him too much to actually go through with it.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        Maybe.

        That said, my SO is similar to this. We don’t talk as much as we should, but that seems to be because they got into online gaming with their friends and play during the times we would normally hang out. I’m expected to go out of my way to make up for that, but I don’t need as much emotional contact as they do so I don’t. I’m usually just hanging out on the bed on my own, and I put down my phone, game, book, etc the moment they initiate.

        This causes some issues occasionally, but I don’t think I’m the cause here. We have kids, and I end up interacting with them more to make more time for them to play (I make breakfast and get them ready for bed).

        That said, I’m trying to be more proactive to help them be more fulfilled. I just wonder if anon is in a similar situation.

  • Doom@ttrpg.network
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    4 days ago

    Anon is emotionally stunted and this person really loves them but doesn’t feel it back. Anon needs to express themselves better

    • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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      4 days ago

      Anon sounds pretty over it, and I don’t blame them.

      Also, if they’re making a greentext about this, they’re quite possibly on the spectrum, in which case it’s on their partner to communicate clearly.

      • Panamalt@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        Being on the spectrum does not put the onus of communication on the partner, and I say that as someone decidedly on the spectrum. It’s still a partnership that requires all players to participate fully.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      It is though, if it’s amicable. It only gets complicated if you disagree on who gets what.

      If there aren’t kids or pets involved, just hire an arbiter and be done with it in a day.

      • Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.ca
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        3 days ago

        I’ve been in this situation. Amicable. Split evenly. No kids. A half hour with my buddy who is a lawyer to sign papers and done.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          That depends on the laws in your area though. In some areas, separate accounts mean something, whereas in others, any income after marriage is considered combined, regardless of who owns the accounts.

          That said, if it’s amicable, it’s fast regardless. Just get a third party to work out the details and it’ll be fast.

    • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Civil unions work like that over here. I could walk into town hall tomorrow and tell them I want to separate from my SO and all I need is my autograph, not even hers.

      • ilega_dh@feddit.nl
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        4 days ago

        And that’s how it should work right? Nobody should be allowed to keep someone hostage in a “relationship”.

        • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          Marriage isn’t just a relationship, it’s a financial partnership. It’s complicated to dissolve because money and shared property are complicated. Fortunately it’s easy to avoid. Don’t get married, and if you want to end a relationship you can simply walk out the door without a word anytime you want.

        • joelfromaus@aussie.zone
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          3 days ago

          I’ve currently been trying to get divorced for almost 12 months. My ex left me for someone else so you’d think it’d be an open and shut case but she’s also being belligerent within the legal process and drawing out the timeline.

          I find it incredible how many hoops need jumping through in Australia just to not be legally bound to a cheating spouse.

    • Nomecks@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      Depends where you are. There’s companies here that’ll come to your house and divorce you in a morning.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    4 days ago

    It’s only going to get worse, Anon. Rethink the relationship. Consider filing for divorce yourself.