i know my ex probably doesn’t care, he ghosted me and never included me on anything, from a list of people he appreciates to never making gifts for me and hardly ever spending time with me.

there was a time he was romantic with me, he showed me affection and cared about me, but it later started to feel like we were acquaintances with some romantic aspects (the occasional “i love you” and being friendly). there was a time where he would never show any affection for me, and though i’d be fine with him not saying he loved me, especially not every 2 seconds (i just wanted once per day), it felt more like we were friends and there was no other indication of intimacy/romantic feelings.

he never even told people about me and acted as if he was single when a “cute guy” would ask. he would only post about attractive fictional/irl men (as in celebrities), so when i told my friends, they suspected (obv we don’t know for sure) that he might have thought he liked girls and continued to date me as a girl (he was pan) but then realized he might be gay that’s why he ghosted me. (that doesn’t make it right, just saying). i can’t talk to him at all, whether it’s romantic messages or an official breakup text, i tried talking to him about the “ghosting” several times but he just does it again. i asked him again but i can’t talk to him because he doesn’t respond. i tried getting some other socials from him, even his number, but he acted a little odd about both suggestions and said no thanks.

he keeps saying that somehow all of his socials don’t work, even though i see him post, and he reads my messages but doesn’t respond. it’s weird, i feel like i was done dirty and i feel upset, but as a lesbian now, I wouldn’t say im attracted to him either.

  • Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io
    3·
    20 hours ago

    It’s all in that first phrase, “i know my ex probably doesn’t care”. Let him go. Put your attention towards those who will return it. I completely sympathize. hugs

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    2·
    20 hours ago

    I wish I had something uplifting to tell you. All I’ve got is empathy for the wish that you might matter to someone as much as they had or still matter to you. It’s a uniquely crushing feeling to know that you don’t, and a difficult one to grieve.

    I suppose the best advice I have is to remember to value the people who text or otherwise initiate contact / try to start conversations with you first without self serving reasons like financial or one-sided emotional ones. They’re usually the people who are best for you.

    And maybe try to locate where in the kubler ross model you are with that realization of not having value to him. The stages don’t always progress in exactly the same order as the model would suggest, that’s just the most common variant. You could look up ways to process each stage, but even just mapping out where you’re at might be helpful.