cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22098369

(found this community more fitting because im a lesbian, also because I see people get downvoted a lot in advice communities despite being made for advice)

she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

she either types “oh!” “…/.” or “erm what 😨” when i say smth

also, shes quite dry around me, often giving like one word responses and only being super energetic around her friends and when posting about video games.

idk if she’s actually just busy or making excuses, since shes usually talking to her friends or other partner (open relationships)

  • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    Wat? No. This is neither normal nor ok.

    Like, some people aren’t very communicative on their phone but love real interaction. But it sounds more like this girl is… not good to be around. Online or otherwise. Since you are polyamorous you can just start dating other women. You aren’t really required to break it off now. This is of course not good relationship advice - just advice for this particular situation that you find yourself in.

    • drbollocksOP
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      4 days ago

      i actually did break up with her last year because she thought i didn’t care about her. she then said i broke up with her because i’m a horrible person and said i assaulted her.

      then, after a year, she apologized profusely and said she can and has changed.

      anyway, i’ve tried starting a convo on the phone and it starts out flirty but then it’s just her talking about her interests and hot guys (which i don’t find interesting as im a lesbian 😅)

        • drbollocksOP
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          4 days ago

          probably. i’ve never done this but if i started to mention other girls, that would generally mean i was losing interest.