i honestly think mine was sometime in 8th grade when i realized that i didn’t just admire this guy, i wanted to go out with him.
i got jealous when he jokingly flirted with guys, but at the same time hoped that he was hinting that he was queer and not just joking around.
When I was questioning my sexuality (I recently had broken up with a guy who wasn’t paying attention to me and subsequently started being interested in girls), I also felt really awkward hearing girls talk about teen boy idols.
I felt like I was supposed to like them, but I didn’t find them attractive at all. I did go through a boy idol phase due to comphet, I felt pressured by my straight friend.