In this video from 1hr 14min -1hr 25min the topic is how Garnt/Gigguk feels about his expression or rather non-expression of anger.
How he perceives himself as a usually non-angry person but rather perceives feelings of frustration and disappointment. This self-perceived notion gets challenged by Alouk/Dr. K who argues that frustration is a form of anger and it’s - at least for me - a very healthy, approachable and nice conversation/podcast in general. It also touches upon other emotions Garnt struggles to publicly show like sadness and crying and how he seemingly dissociates in those high-emotion moments and only really feels emotionally connected with himself when watching anime/media.
I really resonated with this discussion in general because Garnt strikes me as a very self-improvement and self-reflection heavy person and how this “being a bit out of touch with your emotion” can feel like a problem, like you are missing out on stuff. But also on how I (gay man perspective) really felt like no one ever taught me how to express myself in childhood and how I had to claim/work on myself to find ways to articulate my feelings. It’s also something I feel deeply sympathetic towards in movies/dramas or media when men struggle to express themselves as that was just very much my experience as well and how liberating it currently feels to feel more confident in having ways of expressing myself physically and verbally.
I’d love to hear from others how perceiving emotions / expressing emotions has went for them. With my straight guy friends I nowadays often feel like they are very willing to express themselves, but it feels like I have to go for the initiative but maybe that’s just a lingering gay “man imposter” syndrome for me.
I think the true conversation there got derailed by semantics. Clearly he feels anger but what I think he was asking was if it is healthy to always shut it down and internalize it. In my opinion, the answer to that was a resounding “no”. By not dealing with that anger, even when it’s disguised as “feeling dumb” (self-deprecation or sometimes even self-hate) or frustration, he has allowed it to fester, take up emotional real estate in his mind, and always be there waiting to bubble up or straight up burst when something seemingly unrelated triggers it.
I think Garnt was on the right emotional track originally. He intuitively knows that he has shit he should deal with rather than internalize. This is why I do not recommend taking the words of your therapy as gospel. Ultimately, if you are able to be self aware as Garnt seems to be, you will know you better. Therapy is a way to guide you towards the answers you seek or didn’t even know you were seeking. Therapy is not there to give you the answers. Maybe, hopefully, it is there to help you ask better questions.
I think that’s a really good takeaway from it.
I also clearly felt that he knew something had to be addressed and I also hope that as you mentioned he might feel more empowered to ask the right questions to himself now and be better at exploring this issue he has.
And your comment about therapy deeply resonates with me so thanks for sharing that I haven’t had it my feelings regarding it so succinctly spelled out before.