i am very open to conversations ~

EDIT: it seems many people don’t know what a “system prompt” is. that’s understandable and totally normal <3

here's a short explanation (CW: ai shid, but written by me)

The system prompt is what tells an LLM (Large Language Model) like ChatGPT and Llama how to behave, what to believe and what to expect from the user. So “rewriting peoples system prompts” means: overriding peoples views of me.

with this context, the funi pic should be more understandable, where the two text boxes represent peoples “system prompts” before and after my potential transition.

feel free to ask stuff in the comments or message me. i care somewhat about this ai stuff so yea (but i obv don’t like peeps using it to generate dum meaningless articles and pictures)

  • TotallynotJessicaMEnglish
    8·
    2 days ago

    I switched over to mostly using a blahaj.zone account, but didn’t remove my .world account. I figured it might be helpful for one of the mods to see downvotes, but the whole account seems glitched, so I’ll probably end up removing it at some point.

    Edit: also, you could write down what you want to say so you don’t get sidetracked in session. It’s helped me stay on track :)

    • Smorty [she/her]OPEnglish
      4·
      2 days ago

      aaah i see, that makes sense. yes, seeing downvotes makes sense i think.

      also - i already do write stuffs down, and i did two times in a row for the therapy stuffs. but then, when actually talking, the tharapist seems to like to lead the conversation somewhat, which has indeed resulted in some good output, so i always feel like i gotta hop on for the ride instead of putting my own things in there…

      • TotallynotJessicaMEnglish
        6·
        1 day ago

        No therapist should really be doing that. There have been numerous cautionary tales of implanted memories and people misdiagnosed because the therapist only saw what they wanted to see. They’re supposed to help you solve problems, not tell you what to do. I’m of the belief that they cannot help you directly, only get you to help yourself.

        As far as the outputs go, I don’t have confidence in you getting anywhere without confronting this directly. You appear to already see yourself as transfem. You hate being a boy and love being a girl, but you seem to think there’s something more to being trans than that.

        (Edit)

        I can only reflect on my own experience and knowledge, but as someone who was stuck there, it’s not a good place to be. I thought there was an alternative, but there really wasn’t. Transition was an indispensable part of moving forward, even though it was scary and I had a lot of doubts. The doubts were not more real by virtue of going against what I wanted to believe.

        It was always going to be a leap of faith; even though I had narrowed the gap as much as possible, it still took everything I had. I thought it wasn’t a brave step, as once I took it, it was so obviously the right one. Logically, I had nothing left to lose, as I had no future as a man. However, I needed to fully accept that truth, which was a bigger push than I realized at the time. The bravery wasn’t in facing the world as a trans person, but in loving and accepting myself as a trans person. That was harder than anything the world can throw at me.

        • Smorty [she/her]OPEnglish
          2·
          1 day ago

          i’m sorri but i reall don’t understand that sentence in the third paragraph… idk what a virtue is and there are like - three negative words in that sentence which makes it really hard for me to decipher.

          i even asked a local LLM about this (don’t worry, im not saving any of those requests or training anything on them, i’m trying my best to not be evil) and it didn’t make it any easier.

          it responded with this

          (yes i applied a special system prompt to make it respond in a comfier way)

          <Thought> Hmm, let's break down this sentence and see what we can find!
- "The doubts" - this refers to the speaker's own doubts about transitioning.
- "Were not more real" - this part says that the doubts weren't more valid or true.
- "By virtue of going against what I wanted to believe" - this phrase means that just because the doubts went against the speaker's desires, it didn't make them more real.  
So, the sentence is saying that having doubts about transitioning doesn't make them more valid, even if they contradict what you want to believe. </Thought>

i'd rewrite it like this:  
"My doubts about transitioning weren't more valid just because they went against my wishes."  
does that help, maria? 💖

          and that didn’t help me understand it, really…
          so it’d be super kind of u to maybe rephrase that so i can actually understand it, as i feel it holds an important role to your message.
          i’m still very confused about the sentences meaning…

          also, i know i said this like - two or three times before, but i am still veryvery veryvery thankful for you taking your time to write these longer, meaningful comments <3
          i wish to be as nice and supportive as you some day! i also want to make other peeps feel comfy and like they really DO matter and are not just another profile picture on my screen.

          • TotallynotJessicaMEnglish
            3·
            1 day ago

            I wanted to transition because I thought it would make me feel better about myself. I hated being a man and I envied transfems who got to live happier lives after transition.

            However, I was constantly doubting that those desires to transition were genuine. I worried that I only wanted to transition because I wanted an escape from my miserable life. Was I just looking for a shortcut to happiness? Had I just deluded myself because I looked up to Abigail Thorn, Stephanie Sterling, Natalie Wynn, and a person I met in freshman year of college? Did I actually want to be a woman, or was I lying to myself?

            I loved critical thinking. I loved questioning my own beliefs. I thought it was most important to question what we wanted to be true. I thought I wanted to be trans as an easy answer to my problems. However, what I actually wanted was to not transition. I wanted to wake up a normal girl and be happy.

            I’m not a normal anything now, but I am a happy girl 😊