lol I came upon a BMW that clearly had just missed his turn (he slowed down, realized it was too late to make the turn, then sped up again), then turned on his turn signal to pull into someone’s driveway to turn around.

I said to my wife, “This BMW driver is so lost, they’re using their turn signal!”

“nevermind, it’s fine, it turned off by itself when I made a right-hand turn”

Don’t worry, it’ll be fine in 0.5s.

Oh no, it’s back!

Never mind, it’s fine.

Wait no!

Why are BMW owners all the exact fucking same worldwide?

That means your car’s politics have shifted too far to the left. Schedule an appointment with the dealer to have it recentered.

In my experience an unexpected light on your dashboard is about $1000 minimum at the dealership. I fear for the owner.

That’s NASCAR mode. You hit the gas and just keep going left.

Hmmm. I think it means somethings wrong with your speedometer. I mean it’s pointing directly at it.

Drain your blinker fluid

Do you also hear a ticking sound? If so, the car just entered a SUICIDE BOMBING MODE. It’s on a timer to let you escape; follow the arrow for the nearest exit.

Take it to a service center immediately. Thats not normal. Your car is at risk of becoming a different car

Shit man, you gotta get that checked out. This is the “honk at me” feature. It means your car has detected that you’re an idiot and everyone will start honking at you and passing you on the right.

That arrow means you meed to accelerate to 100km/h