I tried chatting on some of the recommended apps on Reddit and I can confirm that none of them work.
Which bring me to the following question: How do you find people who are interested in long-term relationships online?
Note: Please don’t suggest looking in the real life.
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Beats the fuck out of me. This form of social media always has that trait of disposable conversations, but then again, when you’ve been alone as long as I have you tend to be crazy enough to convince yourself that your mania is just a new normal and you didn’t need anyone to start with.
You have to be kinda attractive, I found my wife that way, she messaged me, that’s how we met
I don’t know much about how to enter into a relationship online; I know people who have done it, but it’s never been something that I’ve been interested in. However, many of my strongest friendships were made online.
The trick to making friends online is to not set out with the intention of making friends. It’s paradoxical, I know. What you should do is just find something that you’re interested in, find places online you can talk about them, and try talking about them. Personally I like math, so I met some friends on internet math chatrooms and forums. I like Star Wars, and I made some good friends through talking about Star Wars online.
Many such places also have a casual conversation place attached. In niche communities where you (a) are already engaging with people with a common interest and (b) there’s few enough people that you will see names and faces regularly, but enough people that the conversation never dies down, eventually you’ll become a known quantity and make friends.
Probably the best answer here. I’ve seen a 10+ year relationship start on World of Warcraft, so anything is possible.
Discord is the only way gang
My wife and I met on Craigslist of all things. I read something she wrote, popped her a note, she wrote back, one thing led to another and here we are married for 14 years now…
I can confirm that apps work. Half of my relationships as an adult are from online dating.
What are the other half from?
I’m in the divorce process and in many ways I’m terrified of reaching the point where I am past the grief and feeling a need to fill that void.
We met over ten years ago because I posted a personals ad on a local r4r titled “Creepy guy seeks woman way out of his league”. Everything seems 5000x more gamified now.
I’m somewhat awkward, so I’m a lot more comfortable putting off phone or video for a few days. With that said, I really want to avoid the shame and frustration that comes with taking a full hour to realize I’ve been treating a chatbot like a real human being.
Having reached my 40s, I’ve kind of given up on this sadly. With my work schedule and what it takes out of me, I’ve realized that I’m not that great of a friend anyhow. I can be flaky honestly. But there’s a hole inside of me that I’ve always wanted to fill with a friend, a real connection beyond typical friendship. I’m leaving that hole open but I’ve learned to avoid looking at it. Hope you find your friend.
Too relatable, sadly. I’m here if you want to talk.
Thanks man. Extra tough during the holidays since my family is a dumpster fire.
Preaching the end of the world - Chris Cornell
Edit: probably should explain that i was listening to this song when i read your comment and the one up from yours
RIP Chris.
Apps can definitely work. I met my wife on Tinder, and i know two friends of mine who used Bumble specifically to find friends after moving to a new city, which worked and they now have an active friend group there.
You can confirm none of them work? They can work. Sometimes you have to give it time. I met my wife on tinder. The thing is it takes a while. I didn’t meet the love of my life on there after a single day or week. I was on the app for a couple years. It’s hit or miss and takes learning.
Yup, I had the same thought. I met my partner of 5 years on okcupid, but it also took me years of messages/dates/flings before we found each other. Dating and finding a good match is complicated and so much of it is purely a numbers game. Online dating apps are just a vehicle to expose you to more/different people. They aren’t some binary that either does or does not work.
Guilds in MMOs
Just when the guild splinters in two because a clique will fix all the problems with the old guild, always go with the new folk, they will appreciate your loyalty. At least until y’all invariably splinter again, but then you’ll get new appreciation!
This person guilds
Met my partner in a MUD, kind of a text-based pre-MMO. He was tank, I was healer, it was meant to be.
In general, talking with people who are doing a thing you are interested in too. The way I see it, maybe 10% of people are “friend” potential, 1% “good friend” potential, and .1% partner potential. You’ll want to look in populations where you have something in common with the people, and thus the odds a bit higher.
Holy shit other people mentioning a MUD. Not something i expected to hear today
Idling at sc, spamming heal all as regen allowed. Good times.
Genuinely met my partner on ESO
I met my girlfriend on two different apps actually. The first time it died out but we still thought about each other. So when we found each other 2 years later we decided to try again. The thing that worked for us was to call each other, when we did that we were stuck
Shared experiences help with longer term relationships. I regret I’m not focusing on the finding part but more of identifying how to hold onto it. I think the shared experiences matter more than how you find the people.
I’ve done this specifically by playing a video game, joining a clan, and joining the discord. I focused on who I clicked with most and spent time with them. I also think making some effort to meet IRL helps after a while. Having a game or a hobby in common isn’t really enough because it can be very thin. If you don’t care about any IRL things then force other shared experiences that are tangential to what brought you together. That helps me too.
MMOs maybe. I’ve met some cool people this way
That is where I met my wife and my best friend.
Holy crap, I didn’t realize that site still existed. I’ve since lost touch, but I actually met some cool people from around the world that I was friends with for years through that site when I was a teenager 20 years ago.
