Hope this fits here. It’s more of a skit than the usual deep-dive video essay but I found it entertaining and critical of some harmful capitalist systems :)
Lol.
But also sighs at people who think they can be monogamous but can’t and should just accept the fact that they should be polyamorous etc
Monogamy is a commitment. If you make that commitment, it’s really not that difficult to keep your word. If you don’t want to be monogamous, don’t promise you will be. If you want to be poly, find partners who want to be poly. “Can’t” isn’t really an option when it relates to sex. “I really tried to not put my penis inside another person today, but I just couldn’t help myself.”
Sex addiction is a thing, and I understand that some people really cannot control their impulses. But then you shouldn’t lie to people about your intentions. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying sex and having it with consensual partners. Lying about it is the problem.
Monogamy should be a commitment, but it is usually an expectation instead.
I’m not sure it’s so simple. While certainly some people are disingenuous about their intentions going into relationships, I think it’s more common that people are being genuine but either their intentions change or they simply aren’t as strong or committed as they thought they were. It doesn’t help that polyamorous or other people who have multiple partners are often shamed and looked down upon by many people, and a relationship ending is often seen as a shameful failure as well. These forces suggest to people that acknowledging their own needs and desires to themselves means admitting they are bad or a failure. Therefore they operate under the assumption that they will be a good and faithful partner because the alternative is uncomfortable for them to accept.
The number of people who cheat in relationships is astronomical. Are all of those people bad and dishonest? They are imperfect certainly. But maybe it’s also true that the structures and norms around relationships are what’s creating much of this harmful behavior.
Sure, things change, and people drift apart. But you know if you’re in a committed relationship where monogamy is expected. If you want to sleep with other people, you should have that conversation with your partner because you’re changing the nature of your commitment. Cheating isn’t imperfection, it is betrayal. It takes effort to find an affair, to find the time to get together, to deceive the person whose trust you’re breaking. There’s no greater failure of character.
Yes, we realised this after posting. Thank you for pointing it out!
