• 3 dogs in a trenchcoat@slrpnk.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    6 hours ago

    They should run actual left wing articles but write them to sound like right wing conspiracies. Like, politicians say raising trans kids is child abuse? THE GOVERNMENT WANTS TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO CALL YOUR OWN KIDS!!

  • Wren the Malamute@pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    6 hours ago

    The Onion out here reminding me that there are still good people in this world (outside of my boyfriends, family and friends)

  • danc4498@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    102
    ·
    13 hours ago

    As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWarswarehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

  • JoYo@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    ·
    13 hours ago

    Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

  • khannie@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    178
    ·
    16 hours ago

    I initially thought this was going to be an onion article, but here we are. Class.

  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    42
    ·
    14 hours ago

    The Onion’s parent company, Global Tetrahedron

    Eee! They named the parent company after the evil corporation parent company in The Onion Movie! That makes me unreasonably happy! 😂🥰

    • frezik@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      33
      ·
      13 hours ago

      I hope it’s a lot. The money here is going to the families of Sandy Hook victims. There isn’t nearly enough to cover the full court ordered payout, but it’s essentially a donation to them with extra steps.

      • DandomRude@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        22
        ·
        edit-2
        12 hours ago

        I know, but why should someone other than Jones pay up? He has obviously put aside a lot of money that is due to those affected - he will make even more in the next trump turn. If he gets away with that and shows that it’s worthwhile to run a business as immoral as his, others will do exactly the same.

        Edit: nvm, I forgot that Trump still owes the state of New York half a billion dollars for massive financial fraud that he will never pay because the US citizens elected him the next president. Well, too bad the US legal system doesn’t prosecute anyone personally - especially not with criminal charges. Sorry, I always wrongly assume that the US has a semi-functioning legal system. My bad.