There’s nothing wrong with criticism or calling out bad behavior. However, shouting “ACAB” in a thread about police violence, making jokes about beheading rich people, or throwing “muskrat” comments in discussions about Elon Musk, just to name a few examples, makes you an asshole and part of the reason why social media is so incredibly toxic.

If you’re doing that while also explaining why you feel that way, then it’s still not the best approach, but at least you’re contributing to the conversation instead of just making noise. Throwing out insults without adding substance doesn’t challenge anyone or encourage meaningful discussion; it just perpetuates the toxic environment that so many of us complain about.

  • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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    ACAB is not an insult, it’s shorthand for an ideological shift in how we perceive civil servants. It’s a reminder, or a clue for those who haven’t seen it before, that we have a very real problem.

    Similarly, references to the guillotine should serve as a reminder that the social contract applies to everyone. When the rich devalue the lives of the poor, enriching themselves at the expense of human suffering, they need a reminder that they are outnumbered. The downtrodden need a reminder that basic human decency is a reciprocal requirement.

    I’m with you on personal insults, even against shitbags like Leon, but I also enjoy clever or novel insults, so it’s more about how repetitive they are for me.

    • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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      Thought-terminating clichés like “ACAB” never changed anyone’s view on civil servants. It’s virtue signaling to the in-group and baiting the out-group. The intention is to fish for upvotes and provoke outrage, fitting the very definition of slacktivism.

      If the goal is to inspire real change in the world, spreading awareness and writing thoughtful, engaging comments is a far better approach.

      • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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        I don’t think you’re wrong, but I think you expect too much from people. Some people don’t have more to offer than virtue signaling and proviking outrage. Not everyone has the capacity to write a thoughtful and compelling argument. We’re hanging out on Lemmy writing comments to each other. It’s an open forum. There’s no entrance exams or rules against slacktivism.

        And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a slogan or a chant or a meme or a bumper sticker or a tshirt or a hat or a button or a plaquard or a tweet or an emoji being the summary of your message. It’s easier to share and easier to remember. Calling it “slacktivism” is itself a clever portmanteau to convey a much broader concept, instead of a thoughtful and compelling argument. But I’m not mad, because I understood what you were saying and do not need additional convincing.

        If you’re reading yet another article about police protecting a criminal because the criminal wears a badge, then “ACAB” is sufficient to share your point of view. It would be really cool if we didn’t live in a society where the term had any relevance, and nobody knew exactly what it meant. Sadly, the things we have shorthand for tell us the things we see a lot.

      • Hegar@fedia.io
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        “thought terminating cliche” is a propaganda term made up during the cold war by a US academic who was trying to claim that we have reasoned, rational ideology whereas communists only have slogans that prevent them from realizing how wrong they are.

        It’s a catchy collection of words, but calling another’s argument a thought terminating cliche is just using a cliche to avoid thinking about their point.

        • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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          It’s a name for a concept, so called “bumper sticker logic.”

          Criticizing the author of a statement isn’t addressing the argument itself.

          • Hegar@fedia.io
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            I’m not criticizing the author I’m criticizing the purpose that verbal tool was constructed for. It was designed to close off debate and that’s the only way it’s ever used.

            It’s the best example of what it’s trying to describe. It’s a hypocrite of a phrase, engaging in what it condemns.

            • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              and that’s the only way it’s ever used.

              Kind of an extreme claim which is definitely not true.

              It’s the best example of what it’s trying to describe. It’s a hypocrite of a phrase, engaging in what it condemns.

              So phrases are by themselves guilty of word crimes? A cliche isn’t just an often repeated series of words, it’s a tired idea. “Thought terminating cliche” is itself a thought terminating cliche if it’s being used that way (such as to shut down someone who was engaging in good faith and happened to use a common expression as part of that), but that doesn’t mean this category of expression doesn’t exist. Of course it exists, the modern internet is plagued with it because it’s full of propagandists with an interest in pulling people’s levers with minimal effort and no interest in argument.

  • Greg Clarke@lemmy.ca
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    part of the reason why social media is so incredibly toxic

    Hard disagree. Commercial social media is incredibly toxic because of individuals like Musk, Zuckerberg, etc. They increase their profits to the determent of society. They create the echo chambers that cause that behavior.

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    I didn’t know how unpopular that is, but the “elites” of our society like you mentioned (billionaires, police, government, giant corporations) think they’re above reproach or that they don’t even have to care what we think. That’s why comments qualify as discussion even if they’re short. I don’t think that rises to the level of “hate”…

  • njm1314@lemmy.world
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    Really muskrat is what you are worried about? That’s the least you could say about him. That’s tame. Maybe the real reason social media so toxic is because said muskrat keeps promoting and endorsing pedophiles, literal Nazis, racism, and general hatred.

    • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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      That’s not particularly fair interpretation of what I said. I named 2 other examples too, which you conveniently ignored.

      • njm1314@lemmy.world
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        I’m sorry so you said it but I’m not supposed to address it because why exactly? You’re the one that said it. Only one conveniently ignoring things here seems to be you conveniently ignoring the ramifications of what you yourself said.

        • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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          It’s not calling Elon a muskrat that I take issue with. It’s being the kind of person who feels the urge to do that. Decent people understand when to stay silent if they have nothing meaningful to add. Assholes don’t.

          • njm1314@lemmy.world
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            Calling out someone who promotes endorses and Embraces racism pedophilia Nazism and jingoism seems pretty fucking meaningful to me. Maybe you should ask yourself why you’re so desperate to defend that person. Why you really doing this buddy?

  • Clent@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    To summarize: You hate phrasing the indicates solidarity. Further, you feel you are entitled to a specific level of discourse and consider anyone who does not pass this gate you keep to be toxic. To that I say: NO U!

  • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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    People get angry, and sometimes they need to vent that anger. There’s nothing inherently wrong with being angry, just like there’s nothing wrong with feeling any of the feelings a person can have. There’s not even anything wrong with expressing that anger. The body keeps the score, and it will not forgive someone for their unprocessed emotions. Expression is often a part of that processing.

    Everything after this is my opinion and should be taken as opinion, not any sort of expression of fact.

    It is my opinion that an angry statement like “ACAB” isn’t harmful as long as the audience is right. I have no issues with someone saying “ACAB” under an article about police brutality. I would be displeased with an ACAB comment as a direct response to someone who is a cop and was expressing vulnerable feelings about being a cop. It’s been my belief and experience that that type of moment is where the right words can actually change someone’s mind a little bit, whereas the wrong words can cause harm and push someone to double down on their beliefs. The only times I’ve managed to change minds is when I first try to express some degree of understanding before attempting to reverse the connection to show the other person why they would benefit from understanding.

    I do see the irony present in my specific example here, since bad cops generalize and act out those generalizations on individuals in painful (and sometimes lethal) ways. I am not able to feel or act that way, so the bad cops get to do something that I can’t. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

    Basically, as long as a commenter is venting at a distance, I think it’s relatively harmless. It makes me unhappy when a human is being directly and aggressively dumped on, because the chances for real harm are greatly increased.

    I don’t know if I feel quite the same way about “muskrat.” Like, that’s very much about a specific person, but the dude is literally never going to read that comment. I very much dislike Elon Musk and usually don’t say his name in conversation without the word “fucking” in front of it. I personally don’t believe that an internet comment can ever make that man act in a better way, so I don’t know that there’s any point in trying to treat him nicely. I dunno. Feelings and shit are hard.

    EDIT: I should also mention that ACAB is not an insult, it is a symbol of a movement. That symbol can be insulting to some, but it can also provide a sense of solidarity to others. I am a very privileged person that hasn’t had bad experiences with the police, so my understanding of the anger behind it is the product of empathy and relating it to my own traumas. I would not personally say that to a cop in a situation where I might be able to change their mind a bit, but I haven’t suffered from oppression and pain at the hands of the police. Props to themeatbridge for their comment, because it made me realize that I was framing ACAB as a pejorative rather than what it is.

    • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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      I think if you’re angry to the point that you’re just shouting angry things with no intention for discource, then they’re actually being what I mean by “asshole”. It’s not so much a criticism of them as a person, but rather a description of what they are. I’m calling out specific behaviour typical to assholes.

      I would be displeased with an ACAB comment as a direct response to someone who is a cop was personally expressing vulnerable feelings about being a cop.

      This literally happened here yesterday. On the spectrum of being an asshole, that’s even shittier than just shouting ACAB. Pun unintended.

      • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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        I have some perspective on this that’s a bit hard to share, but I’ll try to do so briefly. My partner had a very traumatic upbringing and has spent several years processing all of that trauma in therapy. She has occasionally said things while in an activated state that she later came to deeply regret. When she has said these hurtful things, I’ve been able to see an injured and frightened 18, 15, 12, 10, 7, or 5 year old kid lashing out as the only defense to an existential threat. There was no existential threat in our time or place, but the trapped knot of trauma that was smashed into her brain by her circumstances saw it as one and tried to survive. With that understanding, it became hard to feel anything but sadness and compassion on the very rare occasion when her anger turned to me.

        This has had a profound impact on how I view angry discourse out in the world. Most people haven’t been through the shit my partner has, but most people have absolutely been through something terrible that has wounded them. Those wounds often turn into trauma, and that trauma can sometimes explode out into the world.

        I don’t think that having trauma means that adults aren’t responsible for their actions. My philosophy is that every person has a duty to take care of themselves and to not harm others, in that order. Harming someone else is not acceptable to me unless it must be done to protect your present self. I just no longer feel like I am able to assign blame or worthiness to these types of comments and the people making them. When I see someone saying something like “ACAB” and expressing really painful trauma, I think of my partner and all the pain she’s gone through and all the work she’s done to get to the bright place she’s at today.

        All of this is to say that I just can’t agree with calling them assholes. I think that there are times when they could be misguided and hurtful and even harmful, but that makes me sad rather than angry. The comments that make me angry are the ones made in bad faith, but thankfully the block and report buttons are easy to reach.

        I’m curious about the incident you mentioned. Would you be able to link it to me? I might like to comment over there if possible.

        EDIT: I was not, in fact, brief.

        EDIT: Found it: https://kbin.earth/m/technology@lemmy.world/t/353424/-/comment/2994009
        I’m shit at the fediverse so sorry for my dumb link. I think there’s a better way to link stuff, but I don’t know what or how even.

        • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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          I don’t believe in free will nor self, so assigning blame doesn’t really fit my worldview anyway. Like I said in the title; I don’t think the cause justifies the behaviour. It may explain a part of it, but what ever the reason, they can still be acting like an asshole.

          If I don’t like a person, I don’t blame them for it. I equally helplessly could not not-like them because of the way they act.

          I’m curious about the incident you mentioned…

          The bottom thread of this post.

          • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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            The timbre and content of our conversation here combined with something I read from your account has led me to perseverate on this conversation, so I’m going to make a comment that’s definitely off-topic to satisfy my brain.

            When I received the first response in this thread, I became curious about who I was conversing with. I looked at your profile and saw this in the account bio (or whatever it’s called here):

            Independent thinker valuing discussions grounded in reason, not emotions.

            And in this most recent comment in the thread:

            I don’t believe in free will nor self

            I’m assuming that you are a determinist. I’m also a determinist! I believe that our actions and identity are ultimately the product of the way our brains interact with the environment around them. I believe that free will is an illusion many people see because the way our brain interacts with its environment is incredibly complicated and is almost impossible to quantify. I think we agree to some degree on this, although I could be totally wrong. I just wanted to see if I could establish a shared (if limited) understanding of how the brain do its thang based on the quote I’ve taken from this thread.

            I wanted to write about emotions. I used to believe that emotions were not helpful when discussing fractious issues and when doing things like, say, software development. I’ve come to believe that I felt this way because I was not taught how to understand or process emotions. Because I didn’t understand them, I was frustrated when they’d come to lead a conversation. I thought that if people could just be purely rational beings, we’d all be able to talk about hard things and come up with mutually beneficial solutions to our problems.

            That sounds pretty naive because it is. I absolutely acknowledge that there are more nuanced arguments for why emotions should be kept out of debates, but I don’t properly understand those arguments so I can’t represent them here. Normally this would be enough for me to not make this comment, but I think I have a way to make my point that doesn’t really depend on whether or not emotions should be involved in discussions.

            Basically, I feel that it is impossible for two people to discuss something without that discussion involving emotions. I believe this is the case for the same reasons I believe in a deterministic universe (which is a ridiculous sentence lol, I sound so pompous right now). I think that a person’s capability to express rational thought is either the result of emotions, or is inextricably linked to emotions. The human brain is a glorious fucking mess. The brain interacts with itself in ways that are just as dynamic and complicated as how the outside environment affects the brain. There’s been a lot of research done to try and separate out what’s responsible for cognition and emotion. Those efforts have failed, and there’s now a lot of literature out there showing how you can’t have one without the other. That’s all really nice and cerebral and such, but I’m not qualified to talk about any of that and don’t want to barf out another debate on the internet on “how does an brain work.” There are enough of those. All I can do is talk about personal experience.

            Like, emotions can be really useful in guiding rational thought. I’m a software developer by trade, and I’ve learned over the years that I architect, write, test, and debug software based on how I feel on a moment-to-moment basis. When I’m trying to filter a list, I just kinda let my fingers move and pound something out. I read it, and if I feel bad (e.g. anxious), I let my fingers delete some stuff and add more stuff, and I keep doing that until I’m happy. Sometimes I’ll stop and think more consciously and “rationally” about what I’m doing, but like, I only do so when I’ve hit a point of feeling consistently unhappy for 3-5 minutes. My emotions and instincts have done most of the work in filtering out the contents of a list or coming up with a state machine or designing a class hierarchy or whatever, which is all pretty logical and rational shit. I work that way and my code works pretty well and is pretty fast and people generally like to read it and work with it. The times when I’ve struggled are when I’ve lacked the necessary instinct or “feel” for what’s good and bad and have had to think purely rationally about what I’m doing.

            I’ve found this to be true for debates as well. I’m far more convincing when I allow my emotions to guide my rational arguments. I’ve changed far more minds, and I’ve had my mind changed far more often when I include my emotions as an essential component of my rationality.

            I’m just some random dude on the internet making a comment about something nobody asked about, so take this for what it is. I figured it’d be fun to write about, and I guess it was since I’m approaching kbin’s 5000 character limit for a single comment.

          • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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            For future reference, here is a direct link to the comment on my instance, and here is the contents of the comment:

            I’m a cop and I can tell you that, at least in my country, you’d have no reason to not unlock your phone if you haven’t done anything.

            I can understand that in some countries cops can be seen as criminals (and are behaving like criminals), but I don’t think a generality should be made. Just like a generality shouldn’t be made about people from an origin all doing the same bad thing.

            Also don’t take advices from what you see on Lemmy as every user comes from a different country with different laws.

            In my country, we can take your phone but we aren’t allowed to unlock it without your consent or without a prosecutor saying so.

            I’m purposefully not including their username here in case they want to delete their comments at a later date.

            That’s a pretty rough thread to read. It makes me feel pretty damn bummed out. The cop (who I will refer to as “they”, “them”, and “the commenter” from now on) clearly believes in their position, and like, I get it. I think everybody would be happy to live in a world where following the belief that “you have nothing to hide” truly resulted in universally positive outcomes. They mention that cops in some countries act like criminals, which is a true (if perhaps incomplete) statement. I think there may be some defensiveness in their comment, but that’s pretty natural when commenting on an article that’s written on the basis that everyone doing their job is bad and should not be trusted. They probably have a hard job, and I’m guessing that part of the way they (and many cops) get through the day is to view their role as a protector of the innocent. That’s not a groundbreaking statement or anything, but I figured I should include it. I’ll also say that they did a pretty good job of avoiding aggressive language. It’s natural to want to fight when dearly held beliefs are attacked, and they did a good job of avoiding that.

            However, I can also understand how that comment makes some people very, very angry. For example, it makes me feel frustrated because I feel like it is missing important context (e.g. roughly where they’re from and how the police and community interact there), and I feel that it is presenting an argument that is problematic and evidently untrue in some contexts. I also feel like it’s a potentially reckless comment. When I read that comment, I feel I’m being told that I may be less safe if I try to maintain my right to privacy. I personally disagree with that idea, and I’m guessing that the people who made very aggressive responses feel much more strongly about that than I do. I won’t claim to understand all the reasons why people are so angry at the police, so all I can do is share my reasons for feeling upset when reading that comment.

            I dunno. I’m torn about that whole thread. I think the commenter was arguing in good faith and was communicating somewhat effectively, but I also don’t think they considered how hurt and angry people are. It’s not their job to avoid provoking trauma responses and angering random people on the internet. I have had times where I had to say something that I knew would really upset and activate my partner. However, I have found that I have better outcomes when I take some time to empathize before saying something that I know will potentially activate someone. I can hear them out, show empathy (or compassion if I have the resources to express it and am comfortable giving it), help them come back to the here-and-now, and then continue the discussion. That wasn’t done, and the folks who have a hard time regulating their emotions made aggressive comments.

            I don’t feel like they were expressing vulnerable feelings, so I’m hoping that they had an emotional shield up and didn’t experience harm. I’m sure it was hurtful, but I hope it wasn’t harmful. I hope that the people who clearly feel such deep rage are eventually able to find peace and a safe place to recover from whatever shit they went through, assuming they have unprocessed shit to deal with. I obviously hope that we’ll someday look back at police brutality some day and be horrified that we ever lived like that, but that’s a nothingburger of a statement in this context. The commenter has expressed their desire to move on from the topic so I won’t leave a comment over there, but I figured I’d share my thoughts here. There’s not really a point to what I’m saying beyond that.

  • Cattypat
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    I think these short, punchy comments do serve a purpose and are worth having, little things like that add up for people questioning their own stance etc

    the one point I agree on is that these comments aren’t creative: they could certainly contribute more and could also be more hopeful rather than simply angry

    • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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      Would you feel that way if it was also the right-wingers writing their own inflammatory thought-stoppers here too? On Lemmy, these comments are for the vast majority coming from the left and are ideas 90% of the people here already more or less agree with.

      • electric_nan@lemmy.ml
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        No, because right-wingers are fucking wrong. That’s a core belief of mine developed over decades of political observation, interaction and consideration. I do not see any benefit in constantly reassessing my views on whether this or that ethnic/sexual minority or impoverished class deserves dignity. I don’t need to hear Nazi arguments any more. There is no value there. If you think this space is too left-leaning, there are plenty of other places you can get a more “bAlaNcEd” discussion.

  • trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world
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    Respectability politics and it’s consequences.

    The opposition will gladly call you a cat eating demonic rapist pedophile without breaking a sweat, and you’re here worrying about Elon Musks feelings or some shit.

    Being “respectable” doesn’t make you better, kinda just makes you a rube.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    It’s a tough call whether or not this is unpopular, though I think it is.

    I also agree with most of the expressed opinion of the post, though I would argue that it isn’t always toxic.

    Those one word comments are a waste of space.

    You can express the same thing in a better way. I’m not saying people shouldn’t be allowed to do it, but it’s not going to do anything useful other than signaling other people that already agree.

    However, that has its benefit. You used a perfect example where a post about police violence is made. ACAB popping up in a thread about that is a sign of solidarity as much as a signal.

    It’s when there’s a post about something like a police department releasing information about an event that it becomes toxic, even though it is still a sign of solidarity.

    In other words, there’s nuance to that kind of symbol. It’s the text equivalent to a raised fist in a crowd. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on context.

  • Hegar@fedia.io
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    There is a fundamental difference between insulting the powerful and insulting people.

    Having high status or power changes your brain, suppressing empathy and making you more capable of hurting others. Power makes people neurologically more evil, so it’s correct to apply different standards to the powerful.

    Insulting is a way to chip away at someone’s social status, so ‘punching up’ has a (minor) positive leveling effect whereas ‘punching down’ tends to reinforce inequality and it’s enabler: prejudice.

    Disrespecting the powerful is important, necessary and beneficial.

      • Hegar@fedia.io
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        shouting “ACAB” in a thread about police violence, making jokes about beheading rich people, or throwing “muskrat” comments in discussions about Elon Musk

        You were talking about people on lemmy insulting the powerful. Specifically the police, the rich and musk.

        • ContrarianTrail@lemm.eeOP
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          Disrespecting / insulting the rich and powerful on a platform like Lemmy is like talking shit about “libtards” on a Trump rally; none of the people you’re disrespecting are there to hear.