If Angelina Jolie started messaging me, told me we could get together and then started asking for cash

Pfffft, fat chance of that happening. Angie and I have been messaging each other on MySpace since 2003 and she’s devoted to me. I love her quirky use of grammar and occasional hilarious spelling mistakes. One day we’ll meet when I’ve saved up enough to pay for her airfare over here (she can’t book tickets herself because fans would mob her), and then we can begin our life together properly.