It’s a fair amount of work but you can do most of it a day or more in advance so it can be a relaxed cook on the actual day.

Comin’ over ‘ere, takin’ our sausages! Give 'em back! Return our sausages!

A lot of the effort is in the preparation. I got some great quality pork belly and a thin loin piece from a really good, local, farm shop. I took off the ribs, trimmed it, and rolled it myself. The rolling and tying took a couple of goes before I was happy with it, but it was worth it. Then it was mostly just time and judiciously applied heat!

Edit to add: a couple more thoughts! I butterflied the belly so it opened like a book. Then, using mustard as a binder I seasoned the meat and the underside of the skin with salt, pepper and garlic and just a hint of smoked paprika. Then I salted the skin and roughly rolled it and let it airdry in the fridge for about 36 hours. I also made some stuffing with crushed pinenuts, parsley, onion, apple, and chorizo which I cooled and then I layered on the stuffing and did the proper roll and tie about an hour before it went on the spit.

It’s the Kamado Joe rotisserie on a Big Joe III. Given that it’s for a Kamado grill - and therefore variable height settings aren’t possible because you want to cook with the lid closed - it’s about as good as it can be. No complaints at all. Other than the price, because it’s not cheap.

I think it will fit a few other brands, but you would probably want to check in with someone who has both because the fit does matter when you’re trying to get enough of a seal to be able to properly control airflow.

I got a fish supper from the chippy - and punched it repeatedly - it has not yet gone hunting for me. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. As is my fish supper.

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Some of the blocks are made with ultraviolet material, which allow inspectors armed with black lights to search for glowing droppings.

We’ve all been there.

Actually, this has just reminded me of the white poos dogs used to do in the '70s. Which were 30 years ago in case you’re wondering. Get off my lawn, etc., etc.!

Superb!

If Angelina Jolie started messaging me, told me we could get together and then started asking for cash

Pfffft, fat chance of that happening. Angie and I have been messaging each other on MySpace since 2003 and she’s devoted to me. I love her quirky use of grammar and occasional hilarious spelling mistakes. One day we’ll meet when I’ve saved up enough to pay for her airfare over here (she can’t book tickets herself because fans would mob her), and then we can begin our life together properly.

Well that’s Berlin’s fault for chosing doughnuts so speedily. If they’d held out longer a Berliner could have been a delicious meat-based food item.

Go away, 'bating!

Behold the master

The wall of preference at my school was concrete rather than brick and the game was just to run at it as fast and fearlessly as possible.

That’d be about 0.00005% I think.

I guess the people who profited from 2008 have decided it’s time for another slurp at the trough.

Just as long as it’s better than US Red Dwarf.

You’re supposed to wait until the pets are dead.

Make carbonara with the yolks!

I know, and Anne’s such a dear. Have you tried her cupcakes?

Good trivia all the same!