Man I dunno what is going on lately. Sure I searched for a few things on “purpose of life” and those kind of things which might be the reason I am getting these recommendations.
It’s weird though that millions of people are struggling with the same things I am currently struggling with. I’m at a point inbetween I shouldn’t be depressive. I shouldn’t feel bad at all. My job is great, have a wife and now my house is almost “done”. I don’t have kids (yet). Life couldn’t be better… but now there is this “but”.
I have absolutely zero energy. Even if I love climbing and would like to start again, I rather just scroll through youtube or stare at a wall. I noticed that I personally have zero problems in my life but all the people around me have problems that I feel like those are my problems too.
Best friend of mine is alcoholic. Because of him I search so much shi.t about how to deal with alcohol problems. My wife somehow can’t get shi.t done either. She failed her exams after 4 years studying and now is jobless but starting a new job next month. My brother is a leech. He doesn’t care about my mom and our grandma but now that my mom is getting the “house” he is asking to help her with fixing it up etc… he just wants the house one day. That is going to be a huge fight in 20 years already. My coworkers keep crying about how stressful work is. I love my job and I have no stress because the tasks are easy and dunno all I do is drink coffee at work cause I am bored after 4 hours while my coworkers struggle to get done in 8 hours. My mom and uncle aren’t talking with each other anymore - he was an a*shole the whole life towards her. I only know what I have seen and it was bad. I can’t confirm her stories, but I assume they gotta be true from what I have already seen myself happen.
TLDR: So much drama around me that it is eating me up and if I wouldn’t have contact with other people I would be so happy.
Really I think the best thing in life is try to avoid people and be on your own. They only cause drama. Imagine if I had just bought a van and drove up to sweden 10 years ago instead of buying a house I could just escape these people, even though I love all of them.
I feel so drained by the drama around me that I can’t do what I love. I use to play video games 12 hours a day and not give a f. If my future me could have told me when I was 10 years old playing World of Warcraft was when I peaked in life I wouldn’t have believed him. Okay that was kind of harsh, I achieved a lot and worked a lot for what I have now and I am proud of me but the people around me are lost and that makes me depressive.
I can’t watch my brother be a leech, my mom and her brother fighting, my wife not being able to work in her “dream” field anymore duo to failed exams at the age of 30. She is literally starting from scratch with nothing at 30 years old. My alcoholic friend… man I feel sorry for all of those people.
I really know that I am lucky to be in my position. But I feel like I can’t enjoy my “luck” or what I “achieved” because of everyone being so “bad” in life around me… it makes me feel sad I can’t celebrate anything I achieve. It’s frustrating going to work finishing a huge project and all my coworkers bitc.h around: “Great now we gotta repeat this til we retire.”… I can’t get home from work and be happy cause my wife is rock bottom. I can’t go to my mom cause she has problems. My alcoholic friend is a problem. I have no one to go to and be “happy”.
I wish I had a few people in my life that have no problems and just enjoy life. That would actually be my wife if she didn’t fail exams because she is the best person I know. I really wish she gets a better oppertunity.
My youtube feed is full of videos of being a better person, learning how to give 0 fcks, “mindset changing life” etc. The whole search feed is screwed and thinks I am a wrecked person eventhough I am just searching and googling for stuff about other people.
Sounds like you have depression mate. Depression isn’t about being sad but it’s very good at making you ignore the positives while focusing on the negatives.
It takes hard work to sort out yourself and sometimes requires intervention. You are better off talking to your doctor.
I have absolutely zero energy. Even if I love climbing and would like to start again, I rather just scroll through youtube or stare at a wall. I noticed that I personally have zero problems in my life but all the people around me have problems that I feel like those are my problems too.
You know what the problem is. There are things you could do which make you feel better, and you’re not doing them.
Other people aren’t you. Don’t expect them to be.
Other people have freedom. They’re free to fail as well as succeed.
The fact they are failing is sad. And that will make you sad, if you hold on to it. But they aren’t you. They are free to fail. And you can’t stop them from making the mistakes, you can only support them in improving and recovering once they learn, if they ever do, that those mistakes must be avoided.A Buddhist monk was talking to a layperson who was seeking comfort. The layperson had experienced grief, as all people do. The monk said: “how heavy is that boulder?” And the layperson said, too heavy to lift. The monk replied: “it weighs nothing if you don’t pick it up.”
If you don’t want to be around an alcoholic, you might have to eventually cut contact with your friend. Not all alcoholics get better.
If your wife is someone you don’t want to have kids with, as you don’t trust her to be able to succeed in work, you might have to eventually consider ending that relationship. Not all people can secure suitable employment for their families.I have no one to go to and be “happy”.
The treasure is in your own mind. No one else can despoil until unless you let them. Be the person that makes you happy.
Hey, you’re not alone. You are describing some symptoms of depression, both in the people around you and in yourself. Stress exists in every person’s life, and it’s entirely normal to wonder if you are on the right track, or to feel like you’re a misfit. In your case, you feel like you’re the only person who isn’t depressed and lost.
My advice to you is to seek therapy and talk about your feelings with a professional. I’m not a therapist, and I’m certainly not your therapist, but as a friend, I would tell you to try to engage with the people that lift you up, and shed the drama that doesn’t pertain to you.
Lift your wife up, because it sounds like she needs your positivity. Be there for her, because you love her and care about her well-being. Don’t expect her to be happy, because sadness doesn’t work that way. Failure isn’t complete until you give up, and it sounds like your wife is moving in the right direction with a new job next month.
Accept your family, because they are dealing with their trials and tribulations in their own way. You are tied together by shared history, but that does not mean your futures need to be so closely intertwined.
Celebrate your wins at work, and encourage coworkers to join you in your joy. If they don’t, it is truly their loss.
Playing 12 hours of video gaming in a day isn’t healthy, but don’t be afraid to carve out an hour or two of “me time” to do what you love. The endorphins from gaming can be addictive, but it can also be a cathartic release from mundane stress. If it interferes with your relationships or other hobbies, it’s too much.
You’re a good candidate for philosophical taoism. It won’t give you the meaning of life or anything, but it will equip you with some useful perspectives for handling these things while still maintaining your sanity and productivity. Better tools than the various people trying to cash in on the self-help movement too, it’s not a particularly monetizable philosophy. I will warn you that it’s not terribly accessible either, though.
It’s more or less a philosophy of rolling with punches.
It’s more or less a philosophy of rolling with punches.
Maintaining the status quo until everyone dies is, I guess, some kind of response.
No, it has nothing to say on whether you should maintain or change a status quo. Punches will come regardless of what goals you set, though, and you will have choices in how you deal with them.
Does this sadden you? Maybe we need to make some changes for you…r feed.
It sounds like you have depression mixed with empathy that overflows your own cup. You can help others get through struggles, but if you find it’s also dragging you down, that’s when you need to set boundaries. Only you can control how you react to something.
I’m similar. Easily influenced by what’s going on around me. I’m finding in my early 40s that I want less and less interaction with strangers and the state I live in is filled to the brim with negative people. The solution for me is to eventually move and remove myself from the vicinity of that influential negativity before it permeates my life. Sounds like you need to do similar before those people drown you with them.
I always tell people that I can’t help anyone or fix anything until I’m properly functioning. Until then, people aren’t getting shit from me. If you allow others to constantly get help or advice from you, they will rely on it constantly—especially people that are in compromised mental states (alcoholism, depression, etc.).
Your post points out the exact issues. You are able to recognize that your life is good, but you are not being challenged at work if you’re bored, and you’re being adversely affected by people that are in a far shittier state.
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