• dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net
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      3 months ago

      Right? I’m often shocked by what is still legal, like the number of states that allow an adult to marry a child.

      • Boozilla@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        It’s frustrating how long it takes the legal system to catch up. I experienced corporal punishment in public school. It’s a barbaric and weird practice.

        • Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Barbaric, weird, and ineffective. It doesn’t actually address what is causing the behavioral issue. It only punishes the kid for reacting normally to whatever stimuli they are experiencing. It’s especially frustrating when the fix would have been something simple like listening to the kid’s concerns or trying to have a conversation with them to address the root problem.

    • Routhinator@startrek.website
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      3 months ago

      TIL… what the fuck. This shit has been illegal Canada wide for generations now, I honestly thought this article was from the past…

      Wait…is the modern day US from the past? Was there some sort of time loop?

      • jerkface@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        Wait till you find out how often the state executes harmless restrained prisoners in modern day US.

      • moonbunny@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Nope, it’s still legal to spank children in Canada. As long as the force used does not exceed what is considered reasonable under the circumstances. Linked article

        Personal anecdote: when I was in 3rd grade in the early 2000s, there was a student in class that had major behavioural issues and would act out all the time. I had witnessed an incident in class which the student was acting out in front of the teacher, which eventually escalated to the point where he started throwing his desk around and threw his chair at her. After the teacher returned to class a few days later, she had disclosed to the whole class that she had a signed permission form by the student’s parents authorizing her to use force on the student.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’m not a violent person. I’ve never been in a fight, let alone in jail for assault. If some school official did that shit to my daughter, it would be my first time for both.

    • Aarrodri@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Cuz of little shits? You know how they say Karens are Karens cuz they never had consequences?

      • roy_mustang76@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        3 months ago

        It is entirely possible to give children consequences without hitting them, you lack imagination if the only way you can envision giving a child consequences is to hit them.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Why do you think, “if you do something I disapprove of, I will cause you pain,” is a good lesson to teach a child? When a child does that to another child, it’s called bullying.

      • cynar@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        There’s a difference between fear and respect. A child should NEVER fear the adult providing their care.

        I would actually wager decent money that many of those little shits have been smacked around quite a lot. They learn to react how they were taught by demonstration. If mistakes are met with violence and aggression, then they learn to do the same to others.

        I know a teacher who (unofficially) specialises in kids like those. They are hell on a new teacher. However, once they realise that they are not met with aggression, the veneer cracks. The young scared child realises that there is an adult they both cares and shouldn’t be feared. Very soon, just the idea that they might disappoint her is a far better motivator than any punishment could be.

        • Schmoo@slrpnk.net
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          3 months ago

          Christian (conservative) values do not differentiate between fear and respect. Preachers harp on their equivalence at the pulpit on a regular basis. They are taught by their respected authority figures that to fear is to respect, and they reinforce those values in their children. It’s no wonder that authority figures in communities that hold these values are some of the most abusive.

          • flerp@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            They worship a being that kills everyone who doesn’t do what he tells them to and tortures people forever for not believing in him when he is actively hiding from them. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in that religion.

        • Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world
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          Yes! This is the exact approach a good teacher takes with students who struggle with behavioral norms. There is a reason they are doing what they’re doing. They are reacting to adults the way they have been trained to react by other, shittier adults.

          Once they trust you as a person who actually cares, they seem to become a whole new person. They are no longer scared to be vulnerable in front of you. It’s a sacred level of respect that teachers and/or mentor adults need to take very seriously.

          I used to be the person who specializes in working with students who struggle with behavioral problems, and I can 100% assure you that exposure to violence from or among adults they are around is what led them to my classrom.

  • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    What’s wrong with physical punishment? My dad hit me and I turned out fine after just a decade of therapy.

  • Zachariah@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    The data available shows hitting kids does absolutely nothing to increase desired behaviors and in many cases is linked to increase in unwanted behaviors.

    • snooggums@midwest.social
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      3 months ago

      What do you mean hitting children teaches them that hitting is acceptable?

      Next they will tell us that beating our wives for dinner being late is unacceptable!

    • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Yeah I can 100% confirm this. My parents beat me when I was a kid.

      I’ve learned to lie better. It’s not something I’m proud of.

      • 4am@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Also explains a lot about American culture being what it is.

        We all learned to convincingly lie our way out of “the wooden spoon”

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        My mom wasn’t strong enough to beat me and I quickly got bigger than my step-dad, but the psychological and mental abuse was there. And now she questions why it don’t let her hang out with my son alone and will abruptly leave with him when I get even a whiff of it.

        Edit: forgot my point, but yes, I too became a master liar.

      • Farid@startrek.website
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        3 months ago

        To be fair, your case applies to any sort of punishment.

        • I’m punished if I do something wrong.
        • If they don’t find out, I don’t get punished.

        Conclusion: need to hide doing something wrong better.

        • femtech@midwest.social
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          3 months ago

          Doing it out of fear makes it a survival response. Unlike getting grounded and talking about what was wrong.

          • Farid@startrek.website
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            3 months ago

            What kind of beating are you supposed to give children for them to actually fear for their lives? I understand that there are sickos like that, but it’s not that common. I’ve been belted my whole childhood, but I never had any survival response, cause I knew that my parents love me. During the whole thing I was much more worried about getting my PS2 taken away.

            • jerkface@lemmy.ca
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              A child depends on their parent for every aspect of their survival. To have a parent turn on them in any respect is potentially a life-altering experience, and not in the way the parent intends. We have mountains and mountains of research that you can easily take advantage of. Two people can have the same experience; one receives permanent trauma, and the other just has a bad day. You were fortunate, but it is quite likely you are suffering affects (eg in relationships, self image, spiritual disposition) you are not presently able to acknowledge.

              • Farid@startrek.website
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                Lemmy back to making assumptions about comments. Not in the least indicated by the amount of downvotes to my original comment. Also Lemming really don’t like hearing truths that don’t vibe with them.

                But to address your comment, I suppose you didn’t say anything wrong, but it assumes that I don’t know about adverse effects of corporal punishment and somehow approve of it.

                I come from culture where corporal punishment is the default. 90-95% of boys (not so sure about girls, should be much less) experienced it, at least in the years of my childhood (it luckily seems to be going down, from my personal experience). But this doesn’t mean that 95% of boys get beaten to pulp with a bludgeon. Most of the punishment is a slap on the back of the neck or something equivalent. Do I approve of it? No. But unlike some, I’m also willing to acknowledge that it’s by far not the worst thing a parent can do, and the amount of potential trauma is likely negligible. And most children don’t see these as “parents turning on them” or “life threatening experience”. (Source: was a child who went to many different schools with children of various socioeconomic status)

                I wasn’t saying I was fortunate, I’m pretty sure I have enough traumatic experiences, including some instances that I remember to this day. And just because all of what I said above is true, you don’t have to assume that my comments are an emphatic endorsement for child-beating, or beating any living creature, for that matter.

                • AWildMimicAppears@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  3 months ago

                  Parents who dont respect the bodily integrity of their children are already on the path to more serious corporeal punishment, and that is something that does happen, even if you didn’t see it. Furthermore, it perpetuates the issue, since the children (like you!) learnt that it is a valid parenting tool, and among those there are again future parents who take it further than a small slap, and so on and so on… simply say no to corporeal punishment.

                  and by the way, it does not take grievous bodily harm to traumatize children. verbal abuse takes it’s toll too, creating deep-seated psychological issues in many children.

                  The problem is that during childhood, the parents are literally the only lifeline for a child. Every experience that betrays the trust that children HAVE to have towards their parents has potential for trauma. A few isolated incidences might not do damage, but it’s like playing roulette: the more often you play, the higher the chance your number comes up, creating lifelong consequences like anxiety/fear/depression (or when happening in the first few years of your life, personality disorders like my AVPD), inability to have a stable relationship, or bonding issues with your future children.

                  Don’t hit your children. Don’t yell at your children either. Do not make excuses for people who do this.

            • femtech@midwest.social
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              Parents that beat their kids don’t really love them. They are releasing their anger on their kids. My mom left bruises and welts from the belt until I pushed her into a wall. I have also never hit my kid now that I have one. Because I take the time to chill myself before punishment.

              • Farid@startrek.website
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                Not all corporal punishment by parents is “beating”. I was belted, but it wasn’t done out of anger (maybe only sometimes). It was just a misguided method of disciplining, done “for my benefit”.

                • femtech@midwest.social
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                  I have never seen, heard, or talked to anyone that spanked their kid after waiting for 20min. It’s always been in the heat of the moment. It’s a power exchange. An outdated punishment just like making kids eat castor oil, being denied food, or poisoning their kids by making them put soap in their mouth.

  • Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de
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    In schools? How is this even still an open question? I thought the debate had at least moved on to whether parents should be allowed to hurt their children, even in the US.

    • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
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      Laws for physically harming children are super messed up. Children are legally nearly a slave class in this country. Their parents can 100% hit them (“within reason”) and it’s not child abuse. If a child retaliates at all, the child can actually have charges pressed against them by the parent.

      I have heard numerous numerous stories of this exact situation: parent starts beating kid to discipline. it gets out of hand/kid won’t tolerate any more, so they call 911. Police show up, tell kid not only are they not arresting parent, but it is parent’s right to hit kid and discipline as they see fit (within the law). But if parent wants they can see about charges to kid if kid hit them or destroyed property.

      This is also very similar as to what happens when women call for domestic violence - the police threaten to arrest the victim. Really really often. It’s almost like police are domestic abusers themselves.

      • lugal@lemmy.world
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        Patriarchal violence…

        But true, the US is one of the few countries that didn’t sign the children’s rights convention

      • skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de
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        Sources please. Never heard this. Always heard the cops do little, sometimes heard the system works. Have not heard cops tell kids they can be hit. (Edit: not doubting, just more in a wtf state.)

        • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
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          I mean, these are personal stories people have told me. That’s my source. I’ve spoken with thousands of people about their childhood trauma from tons of different backgrounds, including foster children.

          Look at child abuse laws in your state. How are they defined? Anything short of that is completely allowed as discipline. If you give me your state (or name an example state if that’s too personal), I’ll post the laws.

          If you’d like a resource to verify that, either call your local CPS office or non-emergency police. They are public servants. Ask them. They will tell you. It’s completely true. You can even put locks on your fridge and partially starve your kid as long as it doesn’t threaten their lives.

    • lemmyseikai@lemmy.world
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      Technically in AZ you can rap the knuckles of a student with a ruler. You’ll still get fired for hitting a kid but I am pretty sure you are safe from a lawsuit.

  • blazera@lemmy.world
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    Heres my argument against hitting kids. Mississippi loves it, cant get enough of it. Every ailment of society is caused by kids not getting hit enough, and they wear their past of childhood violence as their biggest badge of honor. Hitting kids is how you get Mississippians.

  • emerald
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    The thumbnail made me think this was about hitting children with busses, glad to see that’s already illegal

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    Good job. Keep making conservatives actively confront their weird, inhumane, hateful bullshit on its face.

    The gop is the party of hungry, beaten kids, sitting in understaffed schools, without schoolbooks, and distracted by construction noise from the publicly funded ten commandments statue going up near the school entrance between the active shooter drills. They sit there, nodding off and tired from working a double at the Tyson chichen slaughterhouse the night before.

    And never forget, matt gaetz is sitting in the parking lot waiting to offer your kids a ride after school…

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      “would you like a ride to another state where it’s legal for me to do you?”

  • Lexam@lemmy.ca
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    This is overreacting. I was beat as a child and I only need minimal therapy now.

  • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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    We had “optional” corporal punishment.

    You could choose swats with a paddle, or writing sentences over and over.

    Most people took swats, but I just picked sentences and never did them. They’d double the amount a couple times and eventually stop asking for them.

    But absolutely zero boys gave a shit about taking swats, it was no deterrent what so ever. Even knowing that there was an easy way out of the alternative, they’d just take swats and immediately forget it happened.

    If anything it made behavior worse, because they could do whatever and then have a few seconds of discomfort later if and only if they were caught doing the bad thing.

    • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
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      But absolutely zero boys gave a shit about taking swats

      Great time to remind everyone that the adult men who administer corporal punishment in schools do in fact take great pleasure in spanking teenage girls, and that girls opt-out of it more than boys because they know it will border on sexual assault.

      Girls have a higher pain tolerance than boys. They just know the horrific implications of being alone in a room with an older man who has authority and permission to use violence.

      • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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        Oh yeah, I think girls didn’t even have the option.

        I dont know if the girls gym teacher just wouldn’t do it, or if none of them picked it, but none of them got swats.

        But almost every gym class there was a line of boys waiting.

      • androogee (they/she)@midwest.social
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        Girls have a higher pain tolerance than boys.

        Sounds like the sort of thing a doctor says while explaining himself at an inquisition.

        I’m seeing conflicting research on a cursory look.

      • HomerianSymphony@lemmy.world
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        At my school, the principal wasn’t allowed to paddle girls. Only boys.

        I don’t know who made that rule but I can imagine why.

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      I had heard from a guy from singapore that many young men had the idea around the canning that they could do that standing on their head kind of thing.

      • nomous@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I don’t think that guy could take a Singapore caning and remain conscious, much less standing.

        • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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          he talked like you could get one or two so it was like a macho thing. Oh you had 3, yeah I had 5 the other week no problem. I mean he was from singapore but may have been full of it I suppose but he did not come off that way and I knew him for a few years as he was in an academic program related to the lab I worked in.

  • RangerJosie@lemmy.world
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    I was threatened with spanking once in the 9th grade.

    I told the principal that it would take more than him to do it. He called my dad. Dad laughed in his face and told him to try me on. Then hung up.

    I ended up with a week of ISS.

    INB4: I know this sounds like a greentext. I’ve been telling this story for 20 fkin years.

  • BigMacHole@lemm.ee
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    It’s CHILD ABUSE!

    To not allow TEACHERS to SPANK KIDS! I’m a Republican trying to Protect The Children!

  • Optional@lemmy.world
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    But but but . . . hitting solves problems!

    Just ask the guy who invented it . . . Hitler.

    (I’ll show myself out)