Step 1: offer sanctuary
Step 2: offer citizenship
Step 3: conscript
Step 4: get blown ta fuck by a fpv drone
Step 4 a Ukranian solider will post that shit on the internet
step 6, sprinkle some sunflower seeds
You guys read minds? Can we also have the bodies tossed into a large pit where we all per into? At least the waste treatment plant.
Step 5: Blow your fucking dome off in a dusty field
bc it’s better than slowly bleeding out aloneto own the libs.I’d pay good money for that footage.
Hey, if you and your buddies wanna go, Alex, knock yourselves out. Seriously: get the fuck out of here, because the vast majority of us hate you for being one of the worst calibers of human.
i heard refusing Putin offers is woke
It would be very weird for them to refuse.
Just a moment now - before he’s allowed to go let’s make sure we get all his money into the hands of gun violence survivors.
These guys are always hypocrites; it’s probably all in US goverment-controlled assets.
Wrong tone, we gotta take Putin’s offer before they do, scream it from the rooftops that were gonna go and make them look like “pussies.”
FOMO + FUD = FFOMOUD?
”[Putin’s] new decree blows the lid off the establishment’s agenda, letting freedom-loving folks bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense like language tests or history exams," Jones posted on X. "If you’re ready to reject the insane policies of your home countries that push these destructive, anti-human, neoliberal agendas, Russia is rolling out the red carpet!”
Based and fuck off to Russia pilled
”… bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense"
Immigration laws? Quotas? Checking that they’re not importing the “criminals, drug traffickers, human traffickers and people from insane asylum from those shithole countries”?
“like language tests”
“Speak 'Merican!” “Why should I press 1 for English!?”
“or history exams,”
“They come over here and don’t even integrate to our culture, our laws and our history. They want to bring their own culture here and replace us”
I know it never stops, but even still this level of hypocritical entitlement still amazes me. Either way, can’t wait for these Leopard Ate My Face posts.
Russia needs meat for the meat grinder. Putin is delaying sourcing his meat from St. Petersburg or Moscow for as long as possible.
I love how the same people that call for tougher immigration laws are clamoring for looser laws in other countries.
You just want to go to Russia and live there without ever bothering to learn Russian? And you’re not expecting any resentment to grow against those immigrants that just come and don’t adjust?
There will be those - I suspect - who believe they are above speaking Russian, because they were “raised speaking the language of the greatest country on Earth”, and they will believe that the Russians will just accept that for the same reasons, because, obviously Russians know that Americans are better than them.
This mindset is very familiar to me. I’m British.
They assume they’ll be fine since they’re white. That’s all.
“This new decree blows the lid off the establishment’s agenda, letting freedom-loving folks bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense like language tests or history exams”
This coming from the “LEARN ENGLISH, YOU’RE IN AMERICA!” crowd
“freedom loving”, yes Russia sounds like the best place to go …
Right?! When i think of a place where i can do anything i want, i think of Amsterdam, Ibiza, and Moscow lol
1980’s conservatives: “Why don’t you move to Russia if you don’t like it here?”
2020’s conservatives: “Why don’t we move to Russia if we don’t like it here?”
In the 1920s, a brash group of young and ideologically committed Americans saw the Bolshevik Revolution taking place in Russia and decided to travel halfway around the world in order to join it.
In the 2020s, a boorish group of over-the-hill talk radio hosts and their most die-hard hangers on are witnessing the last dregs of humanity squeezed out of the failed revolutionary experiment and have decided “Damn, now is definitely the time to pop over and go golfing.”
I wonder what the Russian police will say the first time they see Alex Jones light up a fat blunt?
Is nose candy legal in Russia? He’ll fit in well with the alcohol abuse - I’m just not sure how kosher all of his uppers will be.
I hope they all agree and go in one big wave, because otherwise stories of the early adopters being conscripted to die in Ukraine might dissuade the rest of them.
They won’t conscript Alex Jones. He can’t walk across a parking lot without getting winded.
Russia is forcing people who are disabled to fight in Ukraine. I’m sure Alex qualifies.
Sandbag division
It takes him 2 tries to get up off the couch
Are you sure you’re not thinking of JD Vance?
Edit: Sorry, I thought you wrote ‘get the couch off.’
Hahaha if true it would be some poetic justice, but unfortunately these dweebs are already hanging out there half the time and loving the oligarch lifestyle, so unless that’s taken away they will die happy
… Wasn’t there a story a few months ago about a family that had done exactly that and turns out living in Russia kinda sucks?
Haha, yes. They were home schooling, antivaxxers who sold a fully owned farm in Canada because of “the gays,” then hoped a plan to russia with their 8 kids.
Of course, Russia froze all their funds, forced them all to get vaccinated, then refused go process their visas for months, while they had to live in a one bedroom with a broken sink. The husband posted a video talking about how they missed their washing machine.
The wife then posted a video about how she hated Russian bureaucracy, which they pulled down quickly. Suddenly, they are talking about howm much they love Russia, how its great that they can’t access their money.
Now, months later they find out that they need to speak fluent Russian to become citizens, and that it can take years after that. They also can’t own more than 49% of a farm without being citizens, so they found a russian to own the 51%.
So after all this, they are going to build a house and a barn and raise farm animals, all for some guy they met to actually own, all while not speaking the language and being utterly dependent on strangers.
Man, that fully owned farmed farm in canada where they were utterly independent and had free healthcare sure sounds like shit in comparison.
I feel bad for the kids.
Eh, they still have citizenship. They’ll be fine when they’re 18.
Yeah, it’s not like Russia has ever illegally detained foreigners before!
You think 18 year olds are allowed to leave Russia right now, except to walk into prepared Ukrainian positions?
They don’t even have to leave Russia to do that anymore!
At least they got away from 'woke"
I hope the guy with the 51% is gay. That’s the only possible way this could be more ironic.
If that doesn’t sum up the path that this crazy ideology leads you down I don’t know what will.
At each step they just keep doubling down 🫠
Here’s an article mentioning that family (from Canada) but also about a recent family from NY.
Please, take him up on that offer. please!
Preferably before November.
They can all go and make their own new Russian town. They could call it Jonesgrad or perhaps Jonestown to keep it closer to their American roots.
Don’t forget to pack up some FlavorAid for those scorching Russian summers.
They could call it Hicksville even… :P
Just in case you missed the reference.
I know about the kool aid, but also for you-
layers on layers on layers
Bruh. They get drafted straight into the meatgrinder.
And nothing of value was lost.
Pretty sure they don’t allow new citizens to be dual citizens with the US, and I’m pretty sure there’s a very painful tax due when you try to dump your citizenship.
Actually, I’m also pretty sure the reason Jones is considering this is those lawsuits and shit.
Pretty sure the tax man can’t find them if they’re in a foxhole.
Ukrainians are just going to strap drones on the backs of irs special agents.
And you thought the machinegun drone was the scariest.
We say that now, until the Ukrainian drones hit their preset kill limit.
Nah, way too much value in Alex’s dumb face. Putin’s goal is and has always been to incite internal conflict in the west. Race, class, gender struggles etc further dividing us are the FSBs bread and butter though obviously on the whole “physical war” thing Russia is struggling. Putin would love for Alex to be a mouthpiece for Russia. Joe Rogan has almost 15 million subscribers, and he would happily host Jones whether he was a Russian mouthpiece or not, and idiots would gobble it up, like they do with Tate, Peterson, etc
Their fatal error was assuming the Ukrainians had a predefined kill limit
Oh no!
Anyway
Didn’t a conservative family already try living in Russia recently and found out it wasn’t all like a better version of America?
There was a homophobic family from here in Sasktachewan (the Feenstra’s), who sold their family farm and dragged their 8 kids to Russia to escape the “far leftist” and “lgbtq ideology” here in Canada. Guess it didn’t work out too well for them since they had their bank accounts frozen (possibly assets seized) and then proceeded to speak ill of Russia (including they don’t speak English there) only to have to publicly apologize and eat their words.
I’d laugh but that sounds like 8 kids had their lives ruined by some idiots.
Yeah, I feel horrible for those kids. His wife also at least seems to have at least realized what a mistake they had made. Her husband though, has done nothing but double down on staying in Russia.
Shhhhh, don’t tell them
I hear Kursk is lovely this time of year for Russians.
Yep. Guarantee every male who is at least semi or partially able bodied who takes him up winds up conscripted and on the front lines.
Except of course for the rich or famous like Alex Jones who do it. They’ll be exempt so they can keep luring more people into Russia to refill their troops numbers.
To be fair Alex hasn’t been in fighting shape for a decade
Neither have a lot of the men Russia sends to the front lines TBH.
For the first time in a long time, sunflowers have been spotted there recently.
Please idiots, flee to that hellscape. There you might realize how full of shit you all are.
Who cares as long as they’re gone?
Please do take all the conservative brainlets and build a Gilead so we can all watch it crash and burn while you cope about foreign interference.
But, I think they should not accept dual nationality. Make them burn their passports at the border!
What’s the opposite of brain drain?
“raises the IQ of both countries”
It’s like taking a nice fulfilling shit.
