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I swear I get irrationally annoyed at the term “parkour” in video games. It’s called platforming dammit!
Not the same. Games with parkour make movement look good even if a games journalist is playing. Games with platforming respect the player’s right to fail and learn from failure to eventually make movement look good.
So wait, are you saying Super Mario Brothers is a menu game, and Assassin’s Creed was created just for journalists?
What?
What the fuck are you talking about, Jesse?!
Going through a bit of my library…
Elite: Dangerous - Menus Rocket League - Parkour Project Zomboid - Menus Stardew Valley - Menus Getting Over It - Parkour This War of Mine - Menus Outer Wilds - Parkour Stacklands - Menus
Omg it’s true!
Imagine a first person shooter with no menus. You just start up the game, and you’re suddenly in a death match with some other random people. There is no customization for the type of death match. The setting and the weapon selection are randomly generated for you. At the end, you are shown a victory/defeat screen with no buttons. After 10 seconds, you join another match.
There is no pause button, no adjustment for mouse sensitivity, and no configuration for the screen resolution or graphics quality.
No menus. Definitely not a menu game.
The game also has no jump button, no stairs, and basically no Y axis at all. Definitely not a parkour game.
I guess you’re too young to have experienced Doom.
I’ve played Doom, Doom 2, and Doom 64. Their engines lack room-over-room architecture, but they do have a Y axis, and some parkour where you run from platform to platform (without jumping). They all have a menu.
You have to navigate the menu of enemy players with your gun
I can choose for this to make sense to me. I think it’s intended as gibberish though, so I don’t know what that means for me.
How is counterstrike menus?
The author implies that buying the right gun in CS is more important than aiming skills.
I think trying to take this meme seriously is a fool’s errand lol
Well it’s certainly not parkour
Surf and kz maps? KZ is actual parkour.
Usually in CS you move or click, but not at the same time. Apex is you click while jumping around.
I think this is the logic anyways.
a jumping puzzle in any d2 raid really does hammer home that it’s menus more than parkour
Diablo 2 had jumping puzzles?
Destiny 2
“Alright guys I’m back just give me a sec I’ll catch up-”
Hazmatastic has died.
“I’ll be back up in 30 seconds please I swear I got this please don’t kick me”
Just leave and rejoin. I’m at the check point
“Damn you warlock jump!”
What about Tetris?
Parkour, but you’re a block.
Is true, am square block :(
Counter strike surf maps are parkour
World of Warcraft?
Classic = Menus, Current = Parkour.
Nah it’s still menus galore
whats league of legends
Menus
Not if you play talon. Then it’s a parkour
I don’t understand how the record fits in here.
That’s just left over from the original comic: https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1990/06/05
(The original calvin and hobbes comic is about the dad explaining how a point on the outside edge of a record travels farther, but still completes the same number of rotations as an inner point)
Path of Exile; menus, plus two other screens of third party menus
Rather than playing the game, I spend way more time looking at how lit the build is going to be in POB, and then even more
wasting all my currencycrafting gear to try and make it work.Menus all the way… unless you’re doing Pillars of Arun, of course.
What about Progress Quest?
Literally all menus.
Doesn’t a menu, by definition, have to have choices? If you can’t select or interact with anything in it, it’s just a list box.
Making no choice is a choice in and of itself.
