• 𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆@lemmy.worldEnglish
      206·
      2 months ago

      Hell, even “are you down…” isn’t bad. Suggested finishers:

      • …to get coffee?
      • …for a movie night?
      • …for lunch/dinner?
      • …to hang out and chat at the park?
      • …to meet at the library for a quick game of Cones of Dunshire?

      Basically anything but that.

    • MrJameGumb@lemmy.worldOP
      69·
      2 months ago

      I think the best part is that he asked almost like he was making a doctor’s appointment lol “are you available at 3pm on Thursday for some dehumanizing unprotected sex with a smelly neckbeard? No? Would Friday work better?”

    • snooggums@midwest.socialEnglish
      30·
      2 months ago

      …unless?

      Although it was in person instead of text, I did hook up with someone I knew from highschool with basically the same direct approach. It helped that I knew she would find it funny.

      • TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world
        33·
        2 months ago

        Plot twist: she has difficulty with reading comprehension and understanding modern slang. She actually would have been interested in casual unprotected sex with him. But anon stopped reading and didn’t clarify himself.

        • Rolando@lemmy.world
          18·
          2 months ago

          Alternate plot twist: she really loves horseback riding and always wanted to try riding a horse without a saddle (i.e. “bare back”) but was a little nervous and wanted someone to help her with it. One day, she told herself, she would find the right person to “bareback” with.

          Then anon DMs her. “Yes,” she says, “I will bareback with you! meet me at the horse ranch.”

          Anon’s like “horse ranch? wtf” but goes for it. The fated hour arrives and anon rolls with it. they all live happily ever after.

          • boonhet@lemm.ee
            8·
            2 months ago

            Incel pretty much already means that.

            Cringe moment is that when I was like 16 or 17, I too, identified with being an incel - I mean, I WAS INvoluntarily CELibate. So I browsed their subreddit for a while.

            I quickly realized that those were guys who were not just involuntarily celibate. They all hated women.

  • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works
    52·
    2 months ago

    Could in theory be saved later by “Sorry, this message was inappropriate, if it’s any excuse I was drunk when I sent it.” If feeling confident, could be followed by “The part about having a crush on you was true tho.”.

  • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
    24·
    2 months ago

    I don’t understand why a nice young man who uses “femoid” as a word can’t get a girlfriend. One of life’s little mysteries!

  • nucleative@lemmy.worldEnglish
    19·
    2 months ago

    The class clown kid from my high school (looked like a clown too) ended up with a smoking hot wife, seemingly way out of his league.

    Around high school I can remember him asking and being rejected by just about every girl.

    Only reason I can think of is he got so used to rejection that he was completely unphased to keep going and the numbers game eventually worked out for him.

    Good on him and a lesson for the rest of us, lol.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    19·
    2 months ago

    This is why honesty is important.

    Had anon faked his way through things and lied about his intentions, it would have been worse for both of them.

    Yah, I know, it’s fake, but there’s an underlying truth that honesty is better for this kind of thing.

    Yes, you will absolutely get shot down 99% of the time (and add .9 to that a lot to get closer to reality), but that’s the entire point. You tell someone you want to fuck them, and they can choose based on their own needs and wants. When those align, awesome! Woot for fucking!

    Now, should you be an absolute cretin about it? No. There’s a difference between being honest and ignoring established social norms regarding language. Currently, asking if someone wants to get barebacked is considered rude, even if they’re DTF. You ask with respect and manners. “Hi, random acquaintance, this is anon, I think you’re attractive, and have for a long time. I would very much like to get together for sex, is that something you might be interested in too?”

    Now, again, most of the time you’ll be lucky to not get told to fuck yourself. But that’s still better than faking other forms of interest to try and get sex.

    And yes, I have actually asked someone that I already knew if they would be interested in at least a one time sexual encounter. And it worked one time. I’ve asked other people and it didn’t work. Since I’m a fucking balding sasquatch in looks, and I was poor as fuck at the time, it wasn’t some kind of artificial thing that incels like to blame for their failures.

    Be real. Be up front. Be polite. But also be willing to accept the large amount of noes you’ll get with aplomb.