• JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I travel a lot for work. US Customs and the TSA are absolutely a sick joke. I could easily write a novella on the extremely poor training of TSA employees. I have a small permanent retainer (read: braces); about 25% of the time, that is considered suspicious, and I get an enhanced inspection. “Ya know, I could just open my mouth and show you what’s in there.”

    The TSA always determines that my juggling balls are suspicious, so I never pack them in carry-on anymore. I have NEXUS, yet I always get an enhanced inspection on return to the US. Literally every other country to which I have flown just waves me through, even before I got Pre-Check/NEXUS/Global Entry.

    My partner had her rigging knife in her backpack on a flight out and back. She was unpacking and found it in her backpack after the trip. Good catch, TSA.

    And the absolute frosting on the TSA shit sandwich: one of my close friends owns a private security firm. His company was approached by the TSA to assist in security audits at a major international airport. He and his team were contracted to “smuggle” fake firearms through TSA checkpoints, any way they could. The TSA repeatedly failed to detect the firearms for each of five audits. The TSA division (district? regional?) manager, frustrated at his group’s 100% failure rate, determined that my friend’s company must have specialized criminal training, and everyone who worked that contract were put on the no-fly list. It took him about 18 months to unfuck that mess for him and his employees.

    I had written a few more paragraphs about TSA hassles, but I think y’all get the picture.

    • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      The TSA division (district? regional?) manager, frustrated at his group’s 100% failure rate, determined that my friend’s company must have specialized criminal training, and everyone who worked that contract were put on the no-fly list.

      What in the fuck?

      • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        If my juggling of balls catches your fancy, you might also be interested to know that I also smoke meat, play the flute, and churn butter. 😆

      • azimir@lemmy.ml
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        5 months ago

        I’ve carried a set of leather wrapped juggling balls on flights off and on since the 90’s. They used to make every X-ray reader twitch out. They’re about the right size for bad items (explosives, grenades), and I have three, not just one.

        Normally it would get a quick search, a moment of confusion, and then no worries.

        Once when going through the old airport in Berlin, I got searched at the second checkpoint, they brought out the balls to me, so I started juggling them and did a routine. It was really quiet so I was the only passenger in sight. That was the only time I’ve performed in front of an audience who was carrying machine guns.

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      the only surprising thing in this story is that no one got their genitals full on cupped and brushed.

      I’ve had 3 different TSA agents reach down the front of my pants and either full on grab my junk or very heavily brush the back of their hands over it (through underwear)