You can of course have your own morale, but there is nothing objective. I cannot personally relate to that either, but I also acknowledge that this is purely cultural and therefore relative and possibly temporary. I find the arguments that by definition label it as wrong or worse grooming to be moralistic and - to some extent - bigoted. Even if directed towards a person that probably is a bigot himself etc.
That’s about as far as I’m willing to take this conversation. Advocating for cultural relativism to defend a 42-year-old dating a highschooler and then calling me bigoted for not accepting it…I mean that has to be the bravest take I’ve seen in a long time. Indefensible, but brave.
By the way, I am an American and this guy lives in my society and culture. Please don’t be an intolerant bigot - apparently that falls under your definition, which is bizarre.
You could simply make your argument. If you can’t support your point, than maybe it’s not that clear after all. It seems you assume everything you believe is self-evident.
Anyway, I respect your wish to be out, so won’t engage further.
I think they “can”. Provided certain conditions (like the relative maturity and reciprocal consent and attraction etc.) are met, there is nothing inherently bad.
Not sure why you ask a question if you don’t care to get a reply…
If the person you’re talking to says you’re defending predators, and the mods remove your comment for defending predators, then you should stop for a second ask yourself, “Self, am I defending predators?”
How about you screenshot this conversation and send it to five friends and ask their opinion? If I were a betting man I would say you had a flash of a thought that said “this is a bad idea.“ You should explore that feeling.
Or conversely, send it to them and see what happens.
Useful enough for you? Later dude. I’m just going to block and move on. I don’t want to read anymore comments from someone who tries to introduce nuance questioning whether or not it’s OK for middle-aged adults to hit on high schoolers.
Would you consider a man in a park playing with little girls a predator? No you wouldn’t, because that can be both a predator and a sweet grampa (and many other things). A man having a relationship (you are saying hitting on, you don’t know) with a young girl is not necessarily a predator. Mind you, it can be! But the age alone doesn’t tell us that. It’s not nuance questioning, is accepting that human experience is different and people are different and yes, it’s possible that a very young person has a very good relationship with someone much older. If I saw two people in public, it’s not the first thing I would think, but that’s due to my prejudices.
Also I don’t care what two people say on a forum. The comment got 4 upvotes, so even the temperature check here shows me that it’s clear I am not defending predators (which I would find abhorrent). Nor you nor anybody else has elaborated on why a middle-aged person in a relationship with a 20yo is necessarily (emphasis on necessarily) a predator. So I take it for what it is: a cultural item which is based on mostly prejudices and traditions. Mind you, I have it as well. This whole disgust is the first thing that came to my mind too. I just realized that it’s based on nothing more than my gut feeling.
Edit: since I grew tired of having to receive sever accusations by people who refuse to engage in good faith in a discussion, potentially questioning their own moral value, I will give make you a favor and block you as well. Cheers.
i’m not sure how much context I need to decide it is inappropriate for 42 year-old to hit on a high schooler whether she is 18 or not.
You can of course have your own morale, but there is nothing objective. I cannot personally relate to that either, but I also acknowledge that this is purely cultural and therefore relative and possibly temporary. I find the arguments that by definition label it as wrong or worse grooming to be moralistic and - to some extent - bigoted. Even if directed towards a person that probably is a bigot himself etc.
I’m assuming you mean morals.
That’s about as far as I’m willing to take this conversation. Advocating for cultural relativism to defend a 42-year-old dating a highschooler and then calling me bigoted for not accepting it…I mean that has to be the bravest take I’ve seen in a long time. Indefensible, but brave.
By the way, I am an American and this guy lives in my society and culture. Please don’t be an intolerant bigot - apparently that falls under your definition, which is bizarre.
Removed by mod
Man I’m out this is truly insane.
You could simply make your argument. If you can’t support your point, than maybe it’s not that clear after all. It seems you assume everything you believe is self-evident.
Anyway, I respect your wish to be out, so won’t engage further.
Do you think a 42 year old should flirt with a high schooler? I feel like my stance has been pretty clear since the first comment.
Don’t bother responding this is truly insane and I am not continuing this conversation.
I think they “can”. Provided certain conditions (like the relative maturity and reciprocal consent and attraction etc.) are met, there is nothing inherently bad.
Not sure why you ask a question if you don’t care to get a reply…
Removed by mod
Think that you might be wrong.
What a useful point! Thanks for the comment
If the person you’re talking to says you’re defending predators, and the mods remove your comment for defending predators, then you should stop for a second ask yourself, “Self, am I defending predators?”
How about you screenshot this conversation and send it to five friends and ask their opinion? If I were a betting man I would say you had a flash of a thought that said “this is a bad idea.“ You should explore that feeling.
Or conversely, send it to them and see what happens.
Useful enough for you? Later dude. I’m just going to block and move on. I don’t want to read anymore comments from someone who tries to introduce nuance questioning whether or not it’s OK for middle-aged adults to hit on high schoolers.
Would you consider a man in a park playing with little girls a predator? No you wouldn’t, because that can be both a predator and a sweet grampa (and many other things). A man having a relationship (you are saying hitting on, you don’t know) with a young girl is not necessarily a predator. Mind you, it can be! But the age alone doesn’t tell us that. It’s not nuance questioning, is accepting that human experience is different and people are different and yes, it’s possible that a very young person has a very good relationship with someone much older. If I saw two people in public, it’s not the first thing I would think, but that’s due to my prejudices.
Also I don’t care what two people say on a forum. The comment got 4 upvotes, so even the temperature check here shows me that it’s clear I am not defending predators (which I would find abhorrent). Nor you nor anybody else has elaborated on why a middle-aged person in a relationship with a 20yo is necessarily (emphasis on necessarily) a predator. So I take it for what it is: a cultural item which is based on mostly prejudices and traditions. Mind you, I have it as well. This whole disgust is the first thing that came to my mind too. I just realized that it’s based on nothing more than my gut feeling.
Edit: since I grew tired of having to receive sever accusations by people who refuse to engage in good faith in a discussion, potentially questioning their own moral value, I will give make you a favor and block you as well. Cheers.
What is wrong with you