In the opposite direction, when I moved to England it took me a while to get used to compliment “inflation” over there.
For example when somebody’s opinion on something is:
- “interesting”, it means it’s shit
- “ok”, means it’s bad or mediocre
- “good” and “great”, means it’s average
- “wonderful” and “amazing”, means it’s good
I once asked one of the natives how did they transmit the message that they trully believes something was a 10/10 and was explained that’s done by going into details on how something is so great.
Meanwhile Germany:
- “interesting” means it’s shit
- “it goes” means it’s bad or mediocre
- “ok” means it’s average
- “can’t complain” means it’s fairly good
- “very good” means it’s great
- “really not bad” means surprisingly great
in Ordnung
My high-school friend group adopted “it goes” from our French class (“Comment ça va?” “Ça va!”, roughly meaning “How goes it?” “It goes!” being the common neutral greeting taught in French classes) and I slightly resent it being described negatively here.
Even better is, we casually drop the “Comment” and add the accent of a question instead, so it can go like : “Ça va?” “Ça va.”
Note that in French we can make the meaning of it vary from roughly ‘not great’ to ‘good’ just by how enthusiastic we are. It’s really only when we want to express radical emotions that we might stop using it.
(Although someone depressed might not want to express their distress and use it like the expressions in this meme…)
swandiving into a woodchipper. Love it
I don’t lie, so I’ll say, “well, you know…” and if they are friends, they know, if they aren’t, that’s a clue that they don’t want to.
My foreman would always say “Love my job” in a happy tone after anything bad happened on a job site. The happier the tone, the worse it was
then comes the singing.
“Dear God, he’s doing H.M.S. Pintafore. We have to leave. Now!”
I feel like the one going on about defcon does not know defcon 5 is actually pretty chill
Should’ve gone the Kanye route and said defcon 3
*death con 3
Fun fact: in America asking “how’s it going?” is just a greeting, nobody really cares
Germans: na?
It’s really like that everywhere, in my experience.
It’s at most small talk, not a license to dive into one’s life story.
Brits ofen say “You alright?” As a substitute for “Hi.”
Pretty jarring when you’re not used to it. Id think “God, I must look like shit if they’re genuinely checking on my welfare!”
When I moved to London, I remember the old lady at the laundromat addressing me as “love”
I was like: “Damn, over here my charm even works with old ladies”
As it turns out, calling somebody “love” it’s just a way of addressing people in some English regions.
Yeah Tom Scott did one of his linguistics videos about that, he had a word for it but some questions aren’t really questions they’re basically just rituals, though rephrased a different way makes them genuine questions, and when you have major dialects of the “same” language like British and American English, we use different ones. “Are you alright?” is basically a noise of greeting in Britain and an expression of genuine concern in America, while “How are you?” is the reverse.
Won’t stop us from having a conversation or even just bitching about something that is randomly bothering us.
I always respond thoughtfully to people I don’t like. Then I ask how they are and watch them squirm.
be advised: this will not work with the majority of neurodivergent people
It me!
Which is also probably why I give this answer. Because it irks me to some degree that we just throwaway important questions like another human’s well-being.
If someone responds without being tripped up, I sorta know they’re my kind of person.oh same haha, if someone asks me a question they’re getting the answer, i don’t care that they expected a “i’m fine”
I just realized that I contradicted myself. I said that I use this with folks I don’t like, and then that when I use it, if someone responds well, that I know they’re my kinda people.
I don’t exclusively use it with folks I don’t like! I also throw it out playfully. It’s validating when folks respond in-kind.
depends on the part of America. in some rural areas no but in the city absolutely
My favorite to use: “not gonna lie to you.”
My coworker once when I asked him a hard question: “Don’t make me lie to you.”
I still think of that a lot and try to work it in when someone asks me an impossible question.
when someone asks me an impossible question.
I think that response actually works for the loaded question:
“Have you stopped beating your wife?“
Implying that you… sometimes do!? :-P
When it comes to how I’m feeling? Sure, often even
Implying that if you said “i’m (fine/ok/alright/good/etc)” would be a lie.
Since it is super easy, barely an inconvenience, I am going to share this link from where my statement came from:-)
(I wish Lemmy would show preview pics of YouTube videos to let people have a glimpse of what they are in for, but hopefully my hints were enough here:-)
Oh! Thank you for the context!
(off-topic: I LOVE this cat)
Not off topic at all - when he showed up, the topic became all about him, in true business cat style - he will not allow it any other way!!! 😹
I usually just go with “sheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiit”
“Too blessed to be depressed” - they’re a Christian fundamentalist who is depressed but trying to convince themselves otherwise. You should run.
I’m here ain’t I = Defcon 5
So normal then?
Yeah, def on 5 is basically civilian peace times, right?
Living the dream!
Nightmares are dreams, right?
“Living the dream!”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, I hope to wake up any day now.”
Gonna
stealpirate thatI prefer “living a dream”.
Am I living someone else’s dream? Is it a nightmare? Am I disassociating? – the answer is “yes”.
It’s been like three years of hearing that and they’re still working the same job lol…
Defcon 5
I never know if they’re meaning that it’s not that bad, or if they actually mean defcon 1.
Because with defcon, the lower the number, the worse the situation.
Defcon NaN
“The situation is so bad, it can’t even be defined!”
“Hanging in there”
Look, I’m a cherry!
.
Seems very American. If you ask a German you be prepared to not get Smalltalk.
This isnt small talk, this is a survival mechanism to figure if the person will enact violence on you or not. Optimally you want the response to be empty words, grunting, or being told to fuck off.
Optimally you want the response to be empty words, grunting, or being told to fuck off.
US/DE/both, did you mean?
I was referring to US culture. The most exposure to Deutsche culture is through part of my family culture and that ancestor left back when the HRE was still in living memory and not even old living memory.
A friend of mine, married to a European, said that I should have been born in Europe, not the US, due to my hatred of small talk.
It really depends on the country and people’s personality.
In my experience in Southern Europe people tend to love share stuff about themselves (and will easilly go into their life story) whilst in Northern Europe getting anything about them without having a long acquaintance with them is very hard if not impossible.
Apparently the Finnish are very averse to small talk (pretty much the opposite of Southern Europe).
Then there are also other variances - in Britain they’ll tend to portray themselves as better than they really are feeling, in Portugal they’ll tend to complain about life and things and in The Netherlands, if you do get them to open up, they’ll be very matter of fact.
After language, it’s maybe the hardest kind of thing to get used to when going to live in another country.
Finland is very good for people who hate smalltalk.
Sounds amazing. I should move to Germany for a while.
Wh… what’s y’alls base suicidality level
Wouldn’t jump into a running vehicle. But wouldn’t try to try to climb up a cliff
Our national holiday consists of drinking and playing with explosives at nighttime. You do the math.
It’s generally a very cheerful level of suicidality though! Would be awful to bring the mood down by making a suicide all somber or some shit.
Yah we kill ourselves, Or overly think about it, with extreme excitement and joy over here.
Also one of our best known sub-cultures is one in which the concept of health and safety are slurs when used outside of work. I should know I am a relatively cautious Redneck, that just means I actually keep the medkit nearby for if shit goes worng.
Fair to middlin’
it’s not bad
“I’m okay”? “I’m not too bad” would mean that you’re near the base suicidality level
