Hello ladies (current and former) of Lemmy (current) - I’m curious how your experience of the male gaze has changed as you moved in and out of young-woman-hood.

How has your opinion of being seen changed through this process?

  • TheBigBrother@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I believe you are talking about “The Wall”, there are people who say women hit “The Wall” at 30yo I am not sure, maybe some women around 35yo.

    If you are a woman I suggest you to get married at 29yo or less or probably you will be forever-alone or at least you can have what you want and not the least worse.

      • TheBigBrother@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I don’t like to disclose personal identificable information on the internet, but I am +25yo.

        I’m not saying it’s scientifically proven… but I’ve personally noticed that women lose most of their physical attractiveness at age 30, which means attention from perhaps 90% of men who generally focus only on their physique.

        • silly goose meekah@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          I mean, I agree with you observation, but your suggestion seems asinine. I don’t think 90% of men go for looks only. A majority, probably, but I’d guess more like 60-70%. Also, men in their 30s generally also start to understand that looks aren’t everything. So just because a woman is single at 30 does not mean she has to settle for “the least worse”

          • TheBigBrother@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            I think it depends on the culture of the place, it can vary, although I do believe that the majority of men, regardless of age, would prefer a 25-year-old woman to a 45-year-old. Very different from if you ask a woman, generally women like older men, if you ask a 25-year-old woman, she would most likely prefer someone 30 or older, and a 25-year-old man would most likely prefer a 20-year-old woman. I am referring to the generality, not the totality, there are definitely exceptions.

            I believe OP it’s asking about “The Wall”, In my culture and according to my experience, I have noticed that generally it is more difficult for 35-year-old women who are alone to find a partner than for 35-year-old men who are alone. I think it is due to the traditional role of men and women. Honestly, I am not very sure what will happen with the new generations, but I think that artificial intelligence brides will be a success.

    • RBWells@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Huh. I don’t live in that world I guess. A wall? For women but not men? Ha ha ha! Here, women are mostly holding up much better as far as I can tell.

      Fertility - wise, what you say makes more sense, if you want a family better to start before 30 if you can, it’s easier on your body, and probably the origin of that wall nonsense. Having my last one at nearly 40 was not hard, but a first one that old is riskier.

      • TheBigBrother@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I believe there is a wall for men also but it’s not related to the age and more about personality stuff, in the case of women and in the society historically women physical aspect have been more important not the same for men. Idk the numbers but just compare how much men vs women are on onlyfans and I can bet the few men are more attractive by their personality than by the physical aspect.

        Men definetly care about women personality but I believe it’s of second importance, but for women if men didn’t have a good personality they aren’t attractive at all.

        I mean women’s personality it’s very important also but usually men care less about it than physical attraction.

        Historically women attractive it’s based on the beauty and men attractive it’s based in personality and other characteristics like social status, money and power(leadership).

        My point could be, there are men who born in the wall, women also but it’s not the same how both roles generate attractiveness.

      • TheBigBrother@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        From the economic POV I believe it is a good point, but, from the human biological POV I believe people generally need a partner to found real life meaning.

        I think there are exceptions to the rule obviously.

        • AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          That’s not even close to true. Don’t believe what Hollywood and Disney are trying to sell. Having a partner doesn’t grant meaning or satisfaction with life, nor does not having one bar you from either.

          The kind of people who are happy with someone tend to also be the kind of people who are happy single.

          • TheBigBrother@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            Yeah I’m speaking about the generality… not about a totality… I’m not talking exactly about happiness I’m talking about life meaning, all living beings are naturally designed to reproduce themselves, I’m not saying that’s the only sense of life but definitely continuing the existence of the race it’s a big one.