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Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel
René Descartes was a drunken fart
I drink, therefore I am
That’s some grade-A, freshman-composition-class-final bullshit right there. Congrats on getting it published, I guess.