I really wish this didn’t have a giant kernel of truth to it. I’ve had to leave so many tables because such a large percentage of people insist on making it weird, that I largely have given up.
On more than one occasion, there has been a dude that intentionally played a lesbian character upon learning that I would be playing and not so subtly directed the million unnecessary sexual advances at me in an indirect manner.
Apart from that general incel style bullshit, there seems to always be a fucking white knight nice guy that refuses to see past my rl gender and acknowledge that I am playing something like a male half orc stereotypical barbarian.
D&D has been a huge passion of mine since the 2e days, and I really understand that it draws in people that tend to be socially inexperienced and/or impeded in some way (hell, I’m one of them), but at this point I am trying to play with 40+ year-old men that are fine in social situations outside of the game, but once the session starts they immediately get creepy.
I know this is long and ranting, but I think there are a lot of people that need to hear it. Even if the overall tone of the game is light-hearted and silly, you still need to be a fucking adult when interacting with other adults.
I know when you are pretending to look at your phone as an excuse to stare at my tits. Stop.
I would recommend learning how to play roll20 (free to play virtual table top) and finding a westmarches Discord server. I moved to an area where I have zero friends and got into playing dnd that way. It’s pretty fun, flexible scheduling, out of game roleplaying whenever. I’m a 38 y/o cis male so I can’t say there will be no issues, cus I never really experienced them at all. I’d totally imagine you’d have a different, and hopefully better, experience than irl games. Feel free to DM if you’d like more info.
I second this. There are some really great Discord communities to play on that I’m part of. Generally, it’s much easier to keep the creeps out by just banning them. It doesn’t have to be a Westmarches server, but any TTRPG server with an actual community that runs game on the server itself, instead of just another LFG fishing pond.
Yeah that’s why I’m wondering. Do they point their camera at her tits and look at them through the phone and pretend to type or something? Wouldn’t everyone else see the boobs on the camera?
Why not just stare off into space? I already hate looking people in the face so looking at their chest is like second nature to me. Where is anyone else going to look when everyone is ideally facing each other around a DnD table. Up?
I’d be bored of seeing Diana of Ephesus’ tits after the third session even if she came in without a shirt lol.
…people secretly stare like that? What?
Tbh, it is unfair that people can get away with that yet I cannot ever have social interactions by me being autistic.
I know when you are pretending to look at your phone as an excuse to stare at my tits. Stop.
While this may be true, I brought a laptop on a game yesterday and I’m not sure the girl on the opposite side of the table didn’t think something like that when my eyes were on top of the screen. Which was a lot of times, because naturally all the people are above the screen and only the keyboard and the table are below the screen.
So - please consider the fact that if there’s a direct line of sight to your tits, and someone has to look in that general direction, they may occasionally from time to time look there. And also that due to, eh, basic uncontrollable instincts they may do that unconsciously a bit more than they need. Like looking at a bunch of pencils and noticing the red ones more than the grey ones.
Also when I talk to girls about my hobbies, they very often apparently perceive this as some nonsense to get romantic. Usually that means that they gradually ignore me more and more and refuse to believe that it’s more complex. Though kinda recently (and long ago before that which led to a trauma, but eh) it was me who thought that they are fine with talking about hobbies, while being more romantic was expected, eventually led to being ignored too.
I really wish this didn’t have a giant kernel of truth to it. I’ve had to leave so many tables because such a large percentage of people insist on making it weird, that I largely have given up.
On more than one occasion, there has been a dude that intentionally played a lesbian character upon learning that I would be playing and not so subtly directed the million unnecessary sexual advances at me in an indirect manner.
Apart from that general incel style bullshit, there seems to always be a fucking white knight nice guy that refuses to see past my rl gender and acknowledge that I am playing something like a male half orc stereotypical barbarian.
D&D has been a huge passion of mine since the 2e days, and I really understand that it draws in people that tend to be socially inexperienced and/or impeded in some way (hell, I’m one of them), but at this point I am trying to play with 40+ year-old men that are fine in social situations outside of the game, but once the session starts they immediately get creepy.
I know this is long and ranting, but I think there are a lot of people that need to hear it. Even if the overall tone of the game is light-hearted and silly, you still need to be a fucking adult when interacting with other adults.
I know when you are pretending to look at your phone as an excuse to stare at my tits. Stop.
I would recommend learning how to play roll20 (free to play virtual table top) and finding a westmarches Discord server. I moved to an area where I have zero friends and got into playing dnd that way. It’s pretty fun, flexible scheduling, out of game roleplaying whenever. I’m a 38 y/o cis male so I can’t say there will be no issues, cus I never really experienced them at all. I’d totally imagine you’d have a different, and hopefully better, experience than irl games. Feel free to DM if you’d like more info.
I second this. There are some really great Discord communities to play on that I’m part of. Generally, it’s much easier to keep the creeps out by just banning them. It doesn’t have to be a Westmarches server, but any TTRPG server with an actual community that runs game on the server itself, instead of just another LFG fishing pond.
… How the hell do you pretend to look at your phone but also look at tits… I need to know for… Reasons lol.
camera? also, no.
No way people actually do that
Yeah that’s why I’m wondering. Do they point their camera at her tits and look at them through the phone and pretend to type or something? Wouldn’t everyone else see the boobs on the camera?
Why not just stare off into space? I already hate looking people in the face so looking at their chest is like second nature to me. Where is anyone else going to look when everyone is ideally facing each other around a DnD table. Up?
I’d be bored of seeing Diana of Ephesus’ tits after the third session even if she came in without a shirt lol.
…people secretly stare like that? What? Tbh, it is unfair that people can get away with that yet I cannot ever have social interactions by me being autistic.
While this may be true, I brought a laptop on a game yesterday and I’m not sure the girl on the opposite side of the table didn’t think something like that when my eyes were on top of the screen. Which was a lot of times, because naturally all the people are above the screen and only the keyboard and the table are below the screen.
So - please consider the fact that if there’s a direct line of sight to your tits, and someone has to look in that general direction, they may occasionally from time to time look there. And also that due to, eh, basic uncontrollable instincts they may do that unconsciously a bit more than they need. Like looking at a bunch of pencils and noticing the red ones more than the grey ones.
Also when I talk to girls about my hobbies, they very often apparently perceive this as some nonsense to get romantic. Usually that means that they gradually ignore me more and more and refuse to believe that it’s more complex. Though kinda recently (and long ago before that which led to a trauma, but eh) it was me who thought that they are fine with talking about hobbies, while being more romantic was expected, eventually led to being ignored too.
At least in the adult world, I think most women can differentiate looking around the room/staring into space and staring at their tits.
I assure you, they’re the experts. 🤣
I also included staring at their tits unconsciously, when not thinking where they are staring, or unintentionally. All more probable due to instincts.