Do you openly do it while the other is around? Do you let them know in case they want to join? Do you only masturbate when they’re not around? Curious to know what others do
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Got into chastity play so my wife usually gives me a week free to have sex and masterbate as much as possible. After that she asks me to lock up in a chastity cage. She has the key and so the only sexual contact I get is when she decides to unlock me and play. Usually it’s a month without a full orgasm. She loves my lust for her and that I will go down on her, fuck her without an orgasm for myself and just generally want to please her. She and I both enjoy the power exchange and the pent up sexual energy. It really is a wild form of play that we started during the pandemic and we’ve kept it up because it is fun. It is so difficult to fuck her to orgasm without sending myself over the edge. She loves it!
Sorry if this is a silly question; how do you wash yourself with the cage if you wear it for a full month? Is it not an issue?
With enclosed cages can get nasty. I like stainless steel that is more open (like with bars). Lather up, rinse off and you’re good. I can also ask to be released for a shower and manscaping a couple times a week. We’re sexually active 6/7 days a week so the cage comes on and off a good chunk of those times which can be opportunities to freshen the contents.
How does the cage help you to stay away from orgasm? I’d rather think it is possible to come when inside it. Or is it more of a head thing, so you are not allowed to while wearing it?
Kink and fetishes are largely in the head. The cage is more a symbol and a toy to accentuate her control. What she really wants is me to be lusting for her, it brings her back to when we were dating in high school and I was a horny teenage boy courting her.
I agree to not come until she allows it. I could cheat, but if I did that would just be violating her trust and breaking what we have going on. I love and respect her, so I follow what she asks of me. Afterall, I did ask to bring chastity into our dynamic, so why would I destroy that?
Sounds fun!
We just kinda do it in bed whether the other is around or not. If either of us wants it to turn into more than just maturation, we just ask. Both of us are men though so anything beyond oral takes a bit of prep. Sometimes we just play around with each other and mutually masturbate to finish and cuddle afterwards. No shame in our relationship. We get enough of that from the homophobes.
Sex is a bonding experience with pleasurable physical sensations that takes time and planning to attain. Masturbation is a physical/sexual health act; this question makes as much sense to me as “How do you and your partner deal with showering?” or “How do you and your partner deal with pooping?” would.
I guess maybe the actual question here is something like: “Do you or your partner see masturbation as being in competition with paired sexual intimacy?” If that’s the case, I’ll use a simple food metaphor.
Sometimes I want to put together a nice steak dinner with all the fixin’s, and sometimes I just want some beef jerky.
When you gotta rub you gotta rub. Do you want to be with them? Yes or no? I dunno, seems like people getting their feelings hurt by their partner making themselves feel good while alone is dumb in the same way you have to navigate other trust issues in relationships: if they are who they are and you don’t want to be with them as they are, it’s not a good fit, and if you can, then great.
If they just want to masturbate and never have sex, and that doesn’t work for you, I guess you can try to change them, but in the end, you’re asking them to change for you.
Edit: oh, but be honest. Don’t lie about shit. If they asked you if you did and you did, just grin and say you did. It doesn’t have to be weird.
I think that last part is hella crucial. When one partner starts/tries to hide when they masturbate, it makes things hella weird.
Embarrassing honesty is a part of growing up and establishing trust.
All of the above depending on how you’re feeling. As with all things in a relationship, good communication is key
Our rule is that as long as masturbating doesn’t replace/impact the desire or ability for partnered sex, it’s all fair game and free range.
However, if you’re gonna do it while your partner is gone, our rule is to at least ask if the other person wants to help or watch.
Sometimes that means getting kissed, rubbed, or hugged from behind while you get yourself off. Sometimes you just wanna bury your face between your partners legs and get off, but you or they don’t want fullll fucking
My partner can only come from masturbation and it takes a lot longer for him to come than me, so he masturbates while I do one of the things he likes, then I quickly masturbate to cum.
I’m surprised how open everyone is dealing with this. For us it’s not a secret that we both masturbate, but we don’t tell the other about it unless they ask. Also, we don’t typically masturbate whilst the other is in the same room, except if we are doing it explicitly together. Idk, I guess it doesn’t sound bad to be super open as everyone else seems to be suggesting, but it also feels awkward when the other person is just chilling in the same room. Also I don’t see the need to confront my partner regularly with me masturbating; it is still a sexual act and as such can easily cross boundaries.
By myself at least every night because my wife has 0 sex drive and mine is huge. 🙃
