This community is housed on an instance run by two trans women, focused on the needs of the queer and gender diverse community.

We allowed 196 here because we were promised the community is queer and trans inclusive.

If you’re here it’s because you’re aggressively supportive of trans folk. Not middle of the ground, not “just asking questions”.

If your response to that is, “yes, but…” then this isn’t the instance for you, and by extension, this isn’t the community for you.

tl;dr - Unambiguous support and inclusion, or fuck off somewhere else.

–

Edit - I changed the phrase "aggressive support to “unambiguous support”, as there was some confusion over the intent behind my previous phrasing.

    • Unmarketable Plushie@pawb.social
      60·
      1 year ago

      One of the mods made a post about how this comment being really creepy about trans men’s bodies somehow wasn’t transphobic and then deleted it after people started calling them out lol

      • LeylaaLovee
        40·
        1 year ago

        Thank you for providing good context on this thread. The original comment was ass, but not important overall. If the mod hadn’t decided to explicitly defend it, this wouldn’t even be a conversation. This entire discourse would have been avoided if it wasn’t for a shitty mod post.

          • good_girl
            15·
            1 year ago

            Fuck off.

            Genital preferences are valid as far as any preference for physical attributes but when you’re reducing people to purely genitals it’s gross and no respect needs to be given to the argument.

              • good_girl
                13·
                1 year ago

                The original comment literally boiled down to “boobs and vagina is woman, penis is man”.

                • priapus@sh.itjust.works
                  8·
                  1 year ago

                  That is not at all what it said. The original commenter said that he would not be willing to date a trans man after they transition because he cannot find a penis sexually attractive and because he does find boons sexually attractive. This is a completely ok thing to say, it’s what was said after this original comment that became a problem. The post should not have been made by the mod, because it led to a lot of transphobes commenting.

          • LeylaaLovee
            10·
            1 year ago

            The mod could have just… Not responded to it like they don’t respond to thousands of comments. You’re not listening to the point. If you’re straight, don’t fuck trans men because you view them as women because vagina and boob

      • AdaOPAEnglish
        57·
        1 year ago

        There was some transphobia that came crawling out like usually happens when a trans topic starts getting active

        That is what prompted this post. It happens every single time trans stuff comes up. There is no space for it here.

          • AdaOPAEnglish
            61·
            1 year ago

            Yes, I’m aware. You can see the list here https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/modlog?page=1&userId=170858

            They were removed, because a meme community on a trans run instance isn’t the place for a discussion on the specifics of why you don’t want to fuck trans people.

            We hear that enough, every day, in every place we look online. We don’t need it here too.

            Was the post transphobic? That depends on who you ask, but either way, what it wasn’t is “unambiguously supportive”

            It’s also worth pointing out that those posts were not the trigger for this thread

            • ZymiEnglish
              46·
              1 year ago

              a meme community on a trans run instance isn’t the place for a discussion on the specifics of why you don’t want to fuck trans people.

              I really wish more people got this

              • JackbyDev@programming.devEnglish
                11·
                1 year ago

                It’s like Pokémon, you made eye contact with someone on a meme sub and suddenly you’re forced into a debate you don’t want to have.

                👀 Barbie or Oppenheimer? Answer me, Zymi!

            • Lemdee@lemmy.worldEnglish
              15·
              1 year ago

              It’s also worth pointing out that those posts were not the trigger for this thread

              That’s a relief! I was a little worried because I like this instance but was butting heads in the one post. Thank you for running this instance. I threw what money I can at the moment to the blahaj.zone Kofi because I feel bad I might’ve made your job harder as an admin lol

        • Juno@beehaw.orgEnglish
          2·
          1 year ago

          I was thinking about this in the context of a conversation I was privy to recently boiled down it was basically “I don’t have a problem with trans people But…sexually assaulting kids is bad But…teaching sexual orientation to 3 year Olds is bad”

          I don’t want to have to feel like I need to “just leave”

        • LeylaaLovee
          25·
          1 year ago

          It seems very “chaser” to me. In other comments, the poster mentioned how he was attracted to “post op trans women and pre op trans men”. Grouping those two demographics together in this way will never be seen as not chaser.

            • LeylaaLovee
              21·
              1 year ago

              Someone who fetishizes trans people. You find trans people hot? That’s totally fine, you can have preferences. But grouping post op trans women and pre op trans men sexually is saying that they’re being viewed as women regardless of their identity.

              If you wanna fuck a trans person, it should be because you’re attracted to them. Maybe you like boobs and penis together and that’s fine. Maybe you like a masculine chest and a vagina. You can be attracted to a certain intersection, even if that intersection is a straight one. But fucking them because they’re trans and exotic is chasing. If you like women, fuck trans women. If you like men, fuck trans men. But don’t just randomly flip them around like there’s no difference to you.

                • LeylaaLovee
                  12·
                  1 year ago

                  That’s not the issue. You can’t say “yeah I like women” and then say that includes pre op trans men. That’s fucking gross to say. He literally did the “oh noooo but your boobs!” You guys really go straight to being condescending before you actually try to understand anything, Jesus fucking Christ.

                • GraySanity
                  6·
                  1 year ago

                  well, yes and no

                  to my personal experience, it can feel kind of transphobic, as being in the position of being rejected just because of your genitals, and not because of the rest of your personality and appearance/gender expression just feels wrong and mean somehow, but if I try to rationalize it, saying that such pereference is transphobic feels just as bad, as you cant force someones pereference

                  there needs to be said that the person did not see the implication of praising/complementing someones genitals that were the problem (in the case of the original post “And it would propably be difficult with me going ‘I love your boobs’ and they’re always like ‘I hate my boobs’”). As praising or giving a trans person a complement on the bodyparts which are a big part of their disphoria is just mean and very painfull for most of them (this was propably unintended tho, and I expect the original postter didn’t think about this, but still)

                  [pre-anything transfem btw]

                  • MBM@lemmy.world
                    4·
                    1 year ago

                    the person did not see the implication of praising/complementing someones genitals that were the problem

                    Wasn’t that the point of the comment? They got asked if they’d date a trans guy and responded that it wouldn’t work out because what they’re attracted to is exactly what makes the trans guy dysphoric

                    Edit: the post the comments were under was a bit weird about trans though, I’d be fine with that not existing here

    • persolb@lemmy.mlEnglish
      19·
      1 year ago

      Honestly I didn’t realize this was a trans community. I thought ‘196’ was just some random number like the ‘4’ in 4chan. 196 just had good content. The fact it’s inclusive is just a bonus.

      • DrQuint@lemmy.worldEnglish
        23·
        1 year ago

        That’s partially to blame for all 196 communities having this weird “if you know you know” approach to writing their mission statement and rules. I’ve seen numerous people ask wth is 196 because of how vague the communities they saw were.

        But, particularly about the social politics, here’s also the thing I think. Trans rights are human rights. Communities fall under two categories: Welcoming to trans people, versus inherently evil. So I don’t think that a community is pro-trans should ever have to be stated. It should be assume, and whoever has a problem with it should go fuck off from society, Satan has a place for them.

        • priapus@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          2·
          1 year ago

          Tbf, this one does mention it on the about page, so it’s more obvious to newcomers than r/196 was.

      • YuliaEnglish
        11·
        1 year ago

        It’s not a trans community per se, it’s more of a more trans-friendly shitposting community. Like, I think, even now majority of posters aren’t trans. And majority of content is not trans-themed, it’s not traa. It’s a good place if you don’t want to see only trans-themed memes, but also don’t want to see transphobia